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Partners vs. Friends

Hey i know, i know ANOTHER relationship thread.

I was just wondering what you guys on tsr think about partner vs. friends issue?
I've always thought nope its easy to juggle the two, spend time with your partner and make sure you have time with your friends too.
HOWEVER my 2 best friends have partners and i might as well not be around most of the time.
Is it just me or is it unbelievably rude to suck eachothers faces off literally non stop when there is only one other person sitting with you (e.i. me)? Hence i spend the whole meal checking my phone, analysising the menu etc :s-smilie:

.
That night was my best friends attempt to make sure she doesnt leave me out, erm somehow i dont think it worked.

Are friends just a way to bide your time until a partner comes along?
I mean no one needs friends but we all need to find a mate and procreate right?

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

el oh el. I hate those situations...so awkward!
I do think we all need friends, perhaps more so than the need to procreate.
I think sometimes it's best to have friends separate from partners..sure great if they all get along, but if they dont, then it's a disaster. I think friends are with us for life. There are things friends can do that a partner could never do. I hope I answered the question..

Reply 2

britishseapower

The last time I was in that situation was when I was about 14. I've never been out with my current best mate and his girlfriend, I just see him separately.

Reply 3

britishseapower

~the_one~

Are friends just a way to bide your time until a partner comes along?
I mean no one needs friends but we all need to find a mate and procreate right?

we need both. You can't just sack your friends off once a girl or boy comes along, it's not very noble. At the end of the day partners come and go until you meet the right one, friends should always be there. If I got a girlfriend tommorow, I wouldn't spend every waking minute with her so in my free time, I'd probably see my mates. If I was having problems with my girlfriend, I would have no one to turn to for advice if I had no friends.

Well....I guess there is always this forum!

Reply 4

WokSz

It's very awkward and annoying when this happens. That's why my girlfriend and I make sure we never do it in front of other people.

Reply 5

jpowell

bEEt

That's why my girlfriend and I make sure we never do it in front of other people.

Quite right too :P.

Reply 6

Talya

OP, your friends are terribly inconsiderate. This happened to me except I was on holiday with them and they were flirting like mad (not together yet). Anyway, afterwards I mentioned I'd felt a bit like the 3rd wheel and my friend apologised and I like going out with them now :smile:

They are probably just in the first flushes of romance where they think they have to kiss all the time or the other one will run away! But they should be more considerate of you when you are all out together.

Reply 7

matt@internet

PDA *cringe*

Reply 8

Kate.

Oh dear, I'm glad my friends aren't like that. That seems really rude & inconsiderate =/

I've never really found it difficult to manage friends + boyfriend. We all seem to fall into routines pretty easy, we tend to see each other on the same nights. Like I pretty much always see one group of friends on Wednesdays, my boyfriend on Fridays and another group on Saturdays, and in between I might go out with friends AND boyfriend. Always just seems to fall into place, and my friends tend to get on well with my boyfriends, and I with theirs.

Reply 9

Rouge

bEEt

It's very awkward and annoying when this happens. That's why my girlfriend and I make sure we never do it in front of other people.

yeah me too, why do people feel the need to suck each other's faces off in public, it feels like they're doing it for show or something, its so pathetic, its good that you love each other but do it in private

Reply 10

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

I think at the end of the day your partner IS more important than your friends if it's a partnership that is eventually going to lead to marriage (or a living-together-equivilent). My husband is more important than my friends - that's normal - that's why I married him!

BUT at the same time chewing on each others faces whilst in the company of friends is indeed incredibly rude.

Whilst long-term partners are more important in the grand scheme of things, that's not to say that friends don't matter. It's perfectly possible to enjoy the company of friends as a couple.

My husband and I socialise with friends together and we don't feel the urge to start slurping on each other or making them feel uncomfortable. There is simply no need for that. If people are going to do that, they're better off not meeting their friends in the first place!

OP, next time your friends ask you out with them, just say no. If they ask you why, be honest - say that you feel uncomfortable with them constantly kissing and feel like a third wheel.
They might not have realised that they do it so much (bit oblivious of them but you never know).

Reply 11

username47781

Well to be honest, you need a life outside your relationship really. Yes your partner is important but so are your friends.

Reply 12

Profesh

Ultimately, everything is contingent on this fact: one's partner can satisfy the role of both consort and confidante; one's acquaintances, on the other hand, cannot. As such, a life absent friendship of the purely platonic sort is feasible (albeit exceedingly undesirable); a life devoid of romantic companionship, to (normative) human sensibilities and biological predispositions, quite abhorrent.

I mean, who wouldn't opt for their 'perfect' partner over their ideal social-circle?