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Female friend has crush on me but I'm not intrested, seeing someone else watch

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    I've been good friends with a girl for a few years now, we lived together at uni in a shared house and became very good friends. She has sex with quite a lot of men, it's up to her what she gets up to but most of them weren't nice people, I told her to stand up for herself and to focus on her uni work and look for a relationship. As she's told me she love to find a decent man to go out with.

    She took this on board what I said, she studied even though she felt like she couldn't do her work. I told her to do it like a father because i felt like she needed pushing. As a male friend I didn't want her to turn into a nothing girl, she's very smart and not to rely what she looks like. Sometimes she wanting to go out drinking when she had a essay to do, so I had stop like I was her dad telling her not to throw this chance away.

    So now we've both finished uni, I've moved abroad to work on a placement through the university and will be returning back to my hometown when I'm back in the UK on the other side of the country. She wants to come see me, she has told me that fancies me and that she doesn't have sex with men she likes so she doesn't fall in love, why she never came on to me. She thinks I fancy her, but I don't I was just being a good friend.

    I'm now seeing a girl of my own, I'm the not the type of man to sleep or date any woman, I have to have a connection with them. The best way describing the girl I'm seeing is more modest, more mature with her attitude and lady like, I'm attracted to her because of this.

    I want my friend to stay strong in herself and carry on what I told her, it's not like I'm controlling her just looking for her. I think this how she developed a crush on me because I am the only man in her life to treat her nicely without trying to get into her pants. She has a view that all men only want her for sex, kind of hypocrital because she all be doing to men too, I said you get what you put out there, if you show people just her body then that's all men will see her for.

    It's just really difficult at the moment. Do you think I'm giving good advice and what else can I say to her? And how go I get her to back off from me so I can have a relationship myself?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been good friends with a girl for a few years now, we lived together at uni in a shared house and became very good friends. She has sex with quite a lot of men, it's up to her what she gets up to but most of them weren't nice people, I told her to stand up for herself and to focus on her uni work and look for a relationship. As she's told me she love to find a decent man to go out with.

    She took this on board what I said, she studied even though she felt like she couldn't do her work. I told her to do it like a father because i felt like she needed pushing. As a male friend I didn't want her to turn into a nothing girl, she's very smart and not to rely what she looks like. Sometimes she wanting to go out drinking when she had a essay to do, so I had stop like I was her dad telling her not to throw this chance away.

    So now we've both finished uni, I've moved abroad to work on a placement through the university and will be returning back to my hometown when I'm back in the UK on the other side of the country. She wants to come see me, she has told me that fancies me and that she doesn't have sex with men she likes so she doesn't fall in love, why she never came on to me. She thinks I fancy her, but I don't I was just being a good friend.

    I'm now seeing a girl of my own, I'm the not the type of man to sleep or date any woman, I have to have a connection with them. The best way describing the girl I'm seeing is more modest, more mature with her attitude and lady like, I'm attracted to her because of this.

    I want my friend to stay strong in herself and carry on what I told her, it's not like I'm controlling her just looking for her. I think this how she developed a crush on me because I am the only man in her life to treat her nicely without trying to get into her pants. She has a view that all men only want her for sex, kind of hypocrital because she all be doing to men too, I said you get what you put out there, if you show people just her body then that's all men will see her for.

    It's just really difficult at the moment. Do you think I'm giving good advice and what else can I say to her? And how go I get her to back off from me so I can have a relationship myself?
    I think you have given good advice to her and I think you should gently say that you are seeing someone else and only see her as a friend.
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    Yes you need to tell her. Be honest with her, it's the best for you but for her too.

    I was in the same situation as her. Rejection hurts but if you can't offer her more than friendship it's the only solution really. Tell her you only want to be friends with her and if it's too complicated for her or she causes trouble then you'll have to cut her out of your life.
 
 
 
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