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My brother spends all his spare time locked in his room Watch

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    My brother works a normal job, still living with my mum he's 22 and hasn't made any plans trying to move out even though he has the money. He spends the majority of his spare time sat in front of his computer in his room, playing video games, if he has no work he can literally spend a whole day playing it, on summer days he even does when the wether is nice. He has friends but never goes out to see them or makes a effort it's always if he can be bothered. He also doesn't appreciate that he's living off my mum and he does all his chores for him. She is getting fed up with more than me as she has to live with him.

    I just feel he's wasting his wife away by not being social and he'll lose his friends if he carries on. I have been travelling around the world for year when I got back to the UK in January my mum told me he did nothing either he's at work or on his computer. I always jump at the chance to go out with friends or on my own, It's better than sitting indoors doing nothing plus it's really unhealthy. I worked so hard in life to get what I want, I also recently bought a house from savings from a old job I have.

    How do I start make him get out more and do more in his life? How can I get him to change and start doing more?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My brother works a normal job, still living with my mum he's 22 and hasn't made any plans trying to move out even though he has the money. He spends the majority of his spare time sat in front of his computer in his room, playing video games, if he has no work he can literally spend a whole day playing it, on summer days he even does when the wether is nice. He has friends but never goes out to see them or makes a effort it's always if he can be bothered. He also doesn't appreciate that he's living off my mum and he does all his chores for him. She is getting fed up with more than me as she has to live with him.

    I just feel he's wasting his wife away by not being social and he'll lose his friends if he carries on. I have been travelling around the world for year when I got back to the UK in January my mum told me he did nothing either he's at work or on his computer. I always jump at the chance to go out with friends or on my own, It's better than sitting indoors doing nothing plus it's really unhealthy. I worked so hard in life to get what I want, I also recently bought a house from savings from a old job I have.

    How do I start make him get out more and do more in his life? How can I get him to change and start doing more?
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    Firstly, who are you to judge him for how he uses his free time? You may choose to go travelling across the world and he may be passionate about playing video games, which doesn't mean you're superior to him.

    He might be going through things mentally and unless you have expressed your concerns to him you shouldn't be spreading hate towards him. Don't judge people on the life they live instead judge them based upon their actions.
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    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
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    Firstly, who are you to judge him for how he uses his free time? You may choose to go travelling across the world and he may be passionate about playing video games, which doesn't mean you're superior to him.

    He might be going through things mentally and unless you have expressed your concerns to him you shouldn't be spreading hate towards him. Don't judge people on the life they live instead judge them based upon their actions.
    He/she is his brother. He is just looking out for him, and wants him to succeed.

    Some people stay indoors with no motivation, and if nobody says anything about it, then the person could stay indoors for a very long time, and it affects him later on in life.
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    (Original post by Naveed-7)
    He/she is his brother. He is just looking out for him, and wants him to succeed.

    Some people stay indoors with no motivation, and if nobody says anything about it, then the person could stay indoors for a very long time, and it affects him later on in life.
    I agree though be careful about your choice of words when you speak to him/her and express your concerns.
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    Yeah. As the above poster has mentioned, you can try to educate him on the dangers of what he is doing without being too forceful/patronising, but in the end it is his choice, and you are not superior to him because of it.
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    I think you should leave him alone as its not really your business how he should live his life.
    He wont listen to you anyway and has to make his own mind up. It will come across as ive been round the world, im independent, I have friends and you dont and are doing everything wrong plus leeching off mom. Depending on what he is doing he might be being quite sociable online, there can be whole communities.

    The person with a say is your mum, she could ask him to pay, rent do chores, or mention her concerns because she's hs mum and its her house. I wouldn't worry as there could be a lot worse things hes doing like having a drug habit, alcohol addiction or beating people up.
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    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
    Weather*
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    Firstly, who are you to judge him for how he uses his free time? You may choose to go travelling across the world and he may be passionate about playing video games, which doesn't mean you're superior to him.

    He might be going through things mentally and unless you have expressed your concerns to him you shouldn't be spreading hate towards him. Don't judge people on the life they live instead judge them based upon their actions.
    I don't think I am superior to him, I think you missed the point completely that he should go out with his friends and have experiences. I did go travelling what I meant by that is he should make the most have no problems with him playing games it's just he spends his whole spare time doing it. He hasn't got any mental issues that I'm wary of plus he does have friends and family that care about him but he chooses not to spend time with them. It's more about addiction if anything and him taking advantage of my mum when he can do a lot of things for himself. I am concerned about him, I wouldn't bother posting this if I wasn't.
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    What happens if his friends are online. You just seem to disapprove of gaming, when in fact it can be very social. You seem to disapprove becayse he isnt like you. As said before if anyone is to call him oyt on his behaviour its your mum.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    I think you should leave him alone as its not really your business how he should live his life.
    He wont listen to you anyway and has to make his own mind up. It will come across as ive been round the world, im independent, I have friends and you dont and are doing everything wrong plus leeching off mom. Depending on what he is doing he might be being quite sociable online, there can be whole communities.

    The person with a say is your mum, she could ask him to pay, rent do chores, or mention her concerns because she's hs mum and its her house. I wouldn't worry as there could be a lot worse things hes doing like having a drug habit, alcohol addiction or beating people up.
    True but when I stay over my mums he never comes say hello or interact with my mum, he would rather play a computer game. Last time I was over me and my mum went down the local pub, he wasn't even intrested. My mum gets annoyed because he doesn't do anything, why do all that for someone who doesn't do the same back.
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    Masturbating.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True but when I stay over my mums he never comes say hello or interact with my mum, he would rather play a computer game. Last time I was over me and my mum went down the local pub, he wasn't even intrested. My mum gets annoyed because he doesn't do anything, why do all that for someone who doesn't do the same back.
    Its for your mum to say something. I wouldnt be interested if I felt was getting a lecture or judgemental. the only thing i see him doing wrong is that your mum isnt happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think I am superior to him, I think you missed the point completely that he should go out with his friends and have experiences. I did go travelling what I meant by that is he should make the most have no problems with him playing games it's just he spends his whole spare time doing it. He hasn't got any mental issues that I'm wary of plus he does have friends and family that care about him but he chooses not to spend time with them. It's more about addiction if anything and him taking advantage of my mum when he can do a lot of things for himself. I am concerned about him, I wouldn't bother posting this if I wasn't.
    I think he responded that way because of how you presented the situation, since you compared your lifestyle to his with a clear tone that what you're into is better. Your mom is actually the person who is in a position to complain because it is quite unfair to her to support your brother if he should be more than able to support himself. If your mom minds so much, she can ask your brother to move out. He's certainly old enough. You can talk to your brother to express your concerns, but in the end it's his choice--and it might not even be so bad! Maybe he is having the time of his life with his video games. Maybe he has entire online communities of friends that he feels closer to than any people he's met in real life. It may even be possible that he felt drawn to that lifestyle because he didn't want to mimic yours.

    The way I see it, he's not harming anyone (except maybe your mom, which is why they should talk), so maybe you should ask him if he's happy. If he isn't, then offer to help. If he says that he is, maybe that should be enough for you.
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    Very reasonable parent 75.
 
 
 
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