heartbroken - by a friend

Ok, here goes. I was with a guy for nearly 2 years and was engaged to him, we split up and i found out that him (i'll call him A) and my close friend (i'll call her B) had feelings for each other and they had discussed this. When i found out i went through so many emotions because the day I'd split with A, B had comforted me and looked after me. I was hurt, lonely and heartbroken.

We had a college trip the next week - a residential 3 night one - with me sharing a room with B at this point we were all still talking somehow. And i said to A and B that i'd be happy for them to get together because i understood that you can't change how you feel and i'd rather they were happy because i cared so much for them. this is the hardest thing ive ever had to say to anyone.

with this though i bacially sacrificed my friendship with B as as soon as they became a couple they spent all their time together (it was like she'd taken my place) and we did try meeting up but she always found it too weird.

I've stayed in contact with A (he's at Uni now) and we're still friends. B and him have recently split up after over a year and a half together. Throughout the time they were together i tried to make friends with her but she wasn't interested.

When they split i emailed her asking whether she thought it'd be any easier to talk and be mates now. Basically i apologised for anything i'd ever done wrong (although i don't actually think i did anything wrong) and i said i cared about her etc. which i do and always have done. and i think that's what bothers me. She was the best friend i'd ever had - we were so similar and she seems to have forgotten all of that and she just doesn't care. we just had an msn convo and she basically asked me to leave her alone for now - and maybe one day we could talk and sort it all out.

it's stupid to be heartbroken. i just am. i loved her (in a platonic way) and am just so.. i don't know, sad that she's not bothered.

I, btw have been with my boyf over a year now and am happy in my relationship (incredibly so) and my relationship with my ex is purely a friendship one.

not sure that i've asked any questions but do comment if you have any idea what to say!

Reply 1

kimble

I had this last year. I wasn't dating the guy but we were very close. friend B came along, hid thier relationship from me for 4 months (I had trust issues before all this and unsurprisingly I still do!!). I left my friends alone (As they baisicly blockd me out) them she thre a fit that I was "ignoring them" and tham I'm "immature" so a year on she still thinks im "immature but shes moving to the other side of the world so I still have friend A. In a very immature way. I won.

If shes being this stupid about it its hard to say but move on. People will come and go in and out of your life. It sounds like you two have just grown apart.

(sprry aboutmy random rant)

Reply 2

Talya

You can't make her be friends with you. I'd say leave her alone, she'll talk to you when she's ready, and you can't do anything about it if she doesn't want to be friends with you :frown:

Reply 3

. sav .

Sometimes you can lose the closest friends over trivial things...

Once i was very very close with V, and L was obviuosly jealous of this friendship we had. We'd planned to go away together and i had to book a place of us all to stay over night. It came to paying and V didnt have the money. Usually i'd lend it her, but it was a lot and i couldnt afford it at the time. L pressured me, manipulated me and put ideas in my head that i'm not ashamed to think about or even admit to myself that i was taken in by. I confronted V and told her she couldnt come, as a result of this.

L and I had a godawful weekend. It wasnt the same without her and since that incident we fell further and further apart. I loved her like a sister. She was the closest friend i've ever had, and over something silly it slipped out my hands.

Since then L proceeded to cheat on her boyriend... with mine. My boyfriend lived about 3 hours from me, long distance thing, and they managed to do it right under my nose. She has disgusted me more than anyone i've ever known and i shall never forgive her for the 2 things she took from me.

No matter how hard i tried with V, things never returned to how they were. Now i dont even have contact with her.

Sometimes babybee you just have to accept fate. Some things just arent meant to be and some are ruined by people you thought were close. People arent always what you thought they were, the influence of others can severely change them, i found that out the hard way. L changed me into a person i hate to ever think i was. Stay true to yourself. you know you did right all along the way. You've tried with her and she's refused. You're the bigger person from this even if you've been hurt most from it.

Look on the brightside, you've learly got a bloke you're very very happy with and no doubt a quality set of friends. Sometimes the past is just the past. Passed. gone. Move on because some things you'll never get back. Just be appreciative of what you have now. xxxx

Reply 4

BabyBee

yeah i know. i just feel a little sad every now and then,

i think maybe just some things arent meant to be :smile:

Reply 5

Nix!

Stop trying to win her over, it's quite pityful to see. Just move on from it, sometimes friendships, like relationships; don't work.

Reply 6

BabyBee

i wasnt trying to win her over

Reply 7

Segat1

Look, I'd cut your losses. Yes, you were mates. But you're not anymore. Remember the good times and move on.

Reply 8

Nix!

BabyBee

i wasnt trying to win her over

The fact that you've made this thread, that you're bothered by it, and that you e-mailed her suggests otherwise.

Just give it up. If she wants to be friends she'll come back, for the time being, she isn't worth the hassle.

Reply 9

username47781

Forget her and move on, try and make some new friends. Only problem also with getting engaged so young as well, as your feelings can change quicker.

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