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    I have been with my boyfriend for five years this coming summer and we have both been through a lot together. We have an AMAZING holiday planned and so happen to be in Venice for our anniversary. I would love to get engaged somewhere really romantic, private and memorable, but I don't get the feeling from my boyfriend that he cares.

    I'm mid-twenties he is late twenties, he admitted he thinks the whole marriage thing is "just a piece of paper", and I feel really stupid for mentioning anything about getting engaged/married one day.

    Is there a stage in a mans life when it just clicks and he decides to pop the question?
    Am I overreacting and should just calm down with the whole thing?
    (but a girl can dream right?! haha)
    Or am I fighting a losing battle here!
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    If one of you doesn't want to get married and one of you does you need to talk about it and see where you're going, every guy is different, there's definitely no 'click' moment and for many people, it's just not in their mind. Talk to him and tell him that that's what you want and ask him what he wants.
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    I fancy going to Venice so if he doesn't pop the question give me his ticket, i'll leave you at the altar to row the canal but oh well
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    (Original post by whorace)
    I fancy going to Venice so if he doesn't pop the question give me his ticket, i'll leave you at the altar to row the canal but oh well
    I'm only in Venice for a couple of days so I'll make sure you're on speed dial with an immediate flight!
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    (Original post by missdla)
    I have been with my boyfriend for five years this coming summer and we have both been through a lot together. We have an AMAZING holiday planned and so happen to be in Venice for our anniversary. I would love to get engaged somewhere really romantic, private and memorable, but I don't get the feeling from my boyfriend that he cares.

    I'm mid-twenties he is late twenties, he admitted he thinks the whole marriage thing is "just a piece of paper", and I feel really stupid for mentioning anything about getting engaged/married one day.

    Is there a stage in a mans life when it just clicks and he decides to pop the question?
    Am I overreacting and should just calm down with the whole thing?
    (but a girl can dream right?! haha)
    Or am I fighting a losing battle here!

    I don't think so.

    Some men will need to be prompted I guess. If it is important to you then have a discussion with him.

    If he isn't naturally very romantic then you have to accept that.

    Why not propose to him instead?
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    (Original post by missdla)
    I have been with my boyfriend for five years this coming summer and we have both been through a lot together. We have an AMAZING holiday planned and so happen to be in Venice for our anniversary. I would love to get engaged somewhere really romantic, private and memorable, but I don't get the feeling from my boyfriend that he cares.

    I'm mid-twenties he is late twenties, he admitted he thinks the whole marriage thing is "just a piece of paper", and I feel really stupid for mentioning anything about getting engaged/married one day.

    Is there a stage in a mans life when it just clicks and he decides to pop the question?
    Am I overreacting and should just calm down with the whole thing?
    (but a girl can dream right?! haha)
    Or am I fighting a losing battle here!
    If he does not propose maybe you can!
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    I don't think so.

    Some men will need to be prompted I guess. If it is important to you then have a discussion with him.

    If he isn't naturally very romantic then you have to accept that.

    Why not propose to him instead?
    Yeah I personally feel it can be awkward because I want to throw some hints out there. but I don't want to be annoying or over the top where he thinks f**k that! It's trying to find a mature balance I guess!

    I have no issue with who ever does the question asking in a relationship but I don't think I would have the balls I'm too fearful of rejection! haha
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    (Original post by missdla)
    Yeah I personally feel it can be awkward because I want to throw some hints out there. but I don't want to be annoying or over the top where he thinks f**k that! It's trying to find a mature balance I guess!

    I have no issue with who ever does the question asking in a relationship but I don't think I would have the balls I'm too fearful of rejection! haha
    Would you marry a man who rejected you? If you pop the question and he says no, I say good riddance.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Would you marry a man who rejected you? If you pop the question and he says no, I say good riddance.
    No, that is a very good point you make. Touché!
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    You pop the question.
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    (Original post by missdla)
    Yeah I personally feel it can be awkward because I want to throw some hints out there. but I don't want to be annoying or over the top where he thinks f**k that! It's trying to find a mature balance I guess!

    I have no issue with who ever does the question asking in a relationship but I don't think I would have the balls I'm too fearful of rejection! haha

    Tbh it sounds like you want it to be traditional . Him on one knee speaking from the heart. Right?

    Just make it clear to him how important the whole engagement and marriage thing is to you.
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    Tbh it sounds like you want it to be traditional . Him on one knee speaking from the heart. Right?

    Just make it clear to him how important the whole engagement and marriage thing is to you.
    I guess so!
    I am my own worst enemy at times, I think I need to learn how to chill out a little and enjoy the present.
    A conversation is definitely due I believe, we'll see the outcome in a few months on a plus side I cannot wait to travel!
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    (Original post by missdla)
    I guess so!
    I am my own worst enemy at times, I think I need to learn how to chill out a little and enjoy the present.
    A conversation is definitely due I believe, we'll see the outcome in a few months on a plus side I cannot wait to travel!

    Definitely.

    You are secure and have had five (presumably) good years together.

    Just go with the flow a bit.

    Remember that no proposal or wedding will ever be perfect like it is in films.

    It is the imperfection that makes them unique.
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    Definitely.

    You are secure and have had five (presumably) good years together.

    Just go with the flow a bit.

    Remember that no proposal or wedding will ever be perfect like it is in films.

    It is the imperfection that makes them unique.
    Definitely.
    Oh I know that for sure, I can just about plan what I'm having for dinner let alone anything worth extreme value!
    Thank you very much for your advice
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    (Original post by missdla)
    I have been with my boyfriend for five years this coming summer and we have both been through a lot together. We have an AMAZING holiday planned and so happen to be in Venice for our anniversary. I would love to get engaged somewhere really romantic, private and memorable, but I don't get the feeling from my boyfriend that he cares.

    I'm mid-twenties he is late twenties, he admitted he thinks the whole marriage thing is "just a piece of paper", and I feel really stupid for mentioning anything about getting engaged/married one day.

    Is there a stage in a mans life when it just clicks and he decides to pop the question?
    Am I overreacting and should just calm down with the whole thing?
    (but a girl can dream right?! haha)
    Or am I fighting a losing battle here!
    Why not just enjoy the relationship you have, rather than plotting ways to steal his money (which is essentially all that modern marriage is)?
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    I think the desire to get married does crystallise over a period time as a relationship matures. But I suppose it's not for everyone also. I think talking about the future is pretty reasonable and sensible in a 5 year relationship.
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    [QUOTE=poohat;63619529]Why not just enjoy the relationship you have, rather than plotting ways to steal his money (which is essentially all that modern marriage is)?[/QUOTE

    I think that's quite a big accusation to make. I'm not interested in any stealing of his money, that never even entered my head.
    We live together already and both support ourselves (and each other when necessary), we don't have a lot of money neither of us are 'well off' and any money we do manage save is 50/50. I'm hardly money grabbing.
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    drop hints, a wedding is most girls dream
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    I think the desire to get married does crystallise over a period time as a relationship matures. But I suppose it's not for everyone also. I think talking about the future is pretty reasonable and sensible in a 5 year relationship.
    Thank you, I think it's not a bad thing to talk about after a long time either but apparently that opinion isn't popular!
    Yeah I will have a talk soon about where we stand in the future soon, it's not a make or break decision right now, just reassurance for myself I suppose
 
 
 
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