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    Dear readers,

    I am currently in a long distance relationship with my partner and is going well. My partner is moving down in the summer to attend the same university as me. I currently live in halls of residence but my partner wants us to live together next year. However, he point blank refuses to do a house share, and says he won't do it, if its not just us two together.

    However, my family are making me feel guilty, by saying they feel "upset" that I want to leave home etc. They also think I am too young.

    I really do not know what to keep both sets of people happy?!

    Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated,

    Thanks,

    stressedout.
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    (Original post by bethmiaa)
    Dear readers,

    I am currently in a long distance relationship with my partner and is going well. My partner is moving down in the summer to attend the same university as me. I currently live in halls of residence but my partner wants us to live together next year. However, he point blank refuses to do a house share, and says he won't do it, if its not just us two together.

    However, my family are making me feel guilty, by saying they feel "upset" that I want to leave home etc. They also think I am too young.

    I really do not know what to keep both sets of people happy?!

    Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated,

    Thanks,

    stressedout.
    I don't think you can keep both sets of people happy in this situation, sorry. It depends on the city but sometimes 1 bed flats can be the same price as student house shares, they are in mine, i could understand why your boyfriend feels uncomfortable sharing as he might feel he can't have any displays of affectation in somewhere which is meant to be home.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I don't think you can keep both sets of people happy in this situation, sorry. It depends on the city but sometimes 1 bed flats can be the same price as student house shares, they are in mine, i could understand why your boyfriend feels uncomfortable sharing as he might feel he can't have any displays of affectation in somewhere which is meant to be home.
    Dear Claire,

    Thank-you so much for your reply. Do you think I should stay at home with him and commute each day?

    Thanks,

    stressed out.
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    (Original post by bethmiaa)
    Dear Claire,

    Thank-you so much for your reply. Do you think I should stay at home with him and commute each day?

    Thanks,

    stressed out.
    Sorry, do you mean get a place with him and commute from there? If so, yes if you feel you're both ready to take that step. Spending 24/7 together will be quite different from an LDR I imagine.
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    Havent you got two separate issues?

    1. The family? is it cultural? Tbh you need to do whats best for you and if that means going to uni , then go. Its your future and it will be a good experience. You will be back during holidays. They should wnat the best for you and they should have known you were going to uni. i cnat believe they would be happy if you didnt go/

    2. The BF. What do you want? Its good having your own place as you get privacy and your own space. it will be more expensive. The only downside I can see is if you are ready to be just with him and nobody else? Shared houses then if your house mates are nice they cna be fun and you make more friends.

    Forget about keeping them happu and think whats right for you.

    If you split up, then it will create turmoil as you will still need to pay the rent . You could survve splitting (just) in a shared house.
    Dont commute, go close to the uni so you cna have the full experience.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    Sorry, do you mean get a place with him and commute from there? If so, yes if you feel you're both ready to take that step. Spending 24/7 together will be quite different from an LDR I imagine.
    Hi,

    But what about my family? They make me feel guilty and making me feel like I want to leave them (home).

    Sorry, my head is just all over the place.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Havent you got two separate issues?

    1. The family? is it cultural? Tbh you need to do whats best for you and if that means going to uni , then go. Its your future and it will be a good experience. You will be back during holidays. They should wnat the best for you and they should have known you were going to uni. i cnat believe they would be happy if you didnt go/

    2. The BF. What do you want? Its good having your own place as you get privacy and your own space. it will be more expensive. The only downside I can see is if you are ready to be just with him and nobody else? Shared houses then if your house mates are nice they cna be fun and you make more friends.

    Forget about keeping them happu and think whats right for you.

    If you split up, then it will create turmoil as you will still need to pay the rent . You could survve splitting (just) in a shared house.
    Dont commute, go close to the uni so you cna have the full experience.
    Dear Tigger,

    Thank-you for your reply. I am already at university but I come home most weekends. I think my family feel that I am too young and that I don't want to live with them.

    Sorry, my head is all over the place, there are so many aspects for me to think off.
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    (Original post by bethmiaa)
    Hi,

    But what about my family? They make me feel guilty and making me feel like I want to leave them (home).

    Sorry, my head is just all over the place.
    I guess you would have to deal with them feeling that way eventually as you won't stay at home forever so there's not much you can do about that really. (I moved out at 18 and my mum was perfectly supportive when i decided to live with my boyfriend at 19 so family having a problem with it isnt something i ve experienced myself )
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I guess you would have to deal with them feeling that way eventually as you won't stay at home forever so there's not much you can do about that really.
    Hi Claire,

    Thank-you so much for your advice. It means a lot
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    (Original post by bethmiaa)
    Dear Tigger,

    Thank-you for your reply. I am already at university but I come home most weekends. I think my family feel that I am too young and that I don't want to live with them.

    Sorry, my head is all over the place, there are so many aspects for me to think off.
    If your already at uni are you enjoying it> its really a personal choice if you miss home. Imo do what makes you happy. having someone guilt you is poor. Your fmaily should want you to be happy. If you are coping at uni then you are old enough.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If your already at uni are you enjoying it> its really a personal choice if you miss home. Imo do what makes you happy. having someone guilt you is poor. Your fmaily should want you to be happy. If you are coping at uni then you are old enough.
    Thank-you very much you are very kind. I will take that into consideration.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I guess you would have to deal with them feeling that way eventually as you won't stay at home forever so there's not much you can do about that really. (I moved out at 18 and my mum was perfectly supportive when i decided to live with my boyfriend at 19 so family having a problem with it isnt something i ve experienced myself )
    Oh okay, well you've had a similar experience to me
 
 
 
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