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    What's your opinion? Personally, once or twice is fine, it's nice. But when it's every time it makes me feel belittled and helpless. I am my own person, I am able to look after my self and pay for myself. Why can't I pay for the guy? Seriously, if I have no money, I would prefer for you to say, "OK, we'll go next week instead." That way I have plenty of time for the excitement to build and for me to plan something special for you while we're doing whatever it is.
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    We can never win on this issue. The opinions are so conflicted. He thinks we're being nice but they feel belittled. We want them to feel autonomous and they think he's cheap.

    Its an absolutely pointless conflict.
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    In today's society, I honestly don't think it should ever be automatically expected of someone in relation to their gender. Imo, either you split the check or the person who asked the other out (male or female) pays. I don't understand girls who just expect guys to pay, if they're both happy with that set up fine, but it's not a bad thing if a guy doesn't want to shell out double the bill because of outdated gender roles
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    Sometimes when I go on a date with a guy they pay, sometimes I do.
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    (Original post by shannonjadexxz)
    What's your opinion? Personally, once or twice is fine, it's nice. But when it's every time it makes me feel belittled and helpless. I am my own person, I am able to look after my self and pay for myself. Why can't I pay for the guy? Seriously, if I have no money, I would prefer for you to say, "OK, we'll go next week instead." That way I have plenty of time for the excitement to build and for me to plan something special for you while we're doing whatever it is.
    Just talk to him. If you wnat dutch then go dutch, if you dont mind him paying then pay for drinks or take it in turns. Not hard to agree so you are both comfy, but if he ignores you then he's an idiot and dump material.

    Nobody likes to be leeched and nobody likes to feel bought.
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    (Original post by BristolFresher15)
    We can never win on this issue. The opinions are so conflicted. He thinks we're being nice but they feel belittled. We want them to feel autonomous and they think he's cheap.

    Its an absolutely pointless conflict.
    See the problem I have is that it was fine the first few times, but after that when I slecifically asked him not to, he still does, and that's the problem I'm faced with right now.
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    Honestly I'd rather go Dutch and just pay for the things I personally had. I can afford to take people out to dinner but as a matter of principal I'd rather not be the one who always picks up the tab every time. Having said that, if it was going to be a regular thing with the same person then taking it in turns to pay would be fine.
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    Tell him this.
    It's difficult for a guy to date. You have the gold digging *****es who want the guy to pay, you have girls who don't want the guy to pay. Guys are raised thinking that we are expected to pay for our date.

    This is thing thing about you women. You never say things clearly, if at all. It always seems to be the opposite of what you mean, then you get all pissy because he did the thing you said eventhough you meant the obvious. And you expect the guy to just know.

    Don't come to TSR, do the obvious thing and tell him how you feel about it to his face. It's not rocket science. You shouldn't be moaning as you're not having to pay for ****.


    I'm in a **** mood and seeing this kind of post really doesn't help.
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    (Original post by shannonjadexxz)
    What's your opinion? Personally, once or twice is fine, it's nice. But when it's every time it makes me feel belittled and helpless. I am my own person, I am able to look after my self and pay for myself. Why can't I pay for the guy? Seriously, if I have no money, I would prefer for you to say, "OK, we'll go next week instead." That way I have plenty of time for the excitement to build and for me to plan something special for you while we're doing whatever it is.
    Guy pays on the first few dates before you're exclusive / in a relationship (I would say by 3rd date you'd probably decide if you want to be exclusive / in a relationship), but once you are in a relationship, you go half and half / or alternate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell him this.g
    It's difficult for a guy to date. You have the gold digging *****es who want the guy to pay, you have girls who don't want the guy to pay. Guys are raised thinking that we are expected to pay for our date.

    This is thing thing about you women. You never say things clearly, if at all. It always seems to be the opposite of what you mean, then you get all pissy because he did the thing you said eventhough you meant the obvious. And you expect the guy to just know.

    Don't come to TSR, do the obvious thing and tell him how you feel about it to his face. It's not rocket science. You shouldn't be moaning as you're not having to pay for ****.


    I'm in a **** mood and seeing this kind of post really doesn't help.
    I did talk to him, I specifically asked him not to, and not to ask and explained why and he still does it, that's the problem right now.
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    (Original post by shannonjadexxz)
    I did talk to him, I specifically asked him not to, and not to ask and explained why and he still does it, that's the problem right now.
    he isn't really respecting your opinion there, have you had any other signs he isn't able to respect your views/desires?

    I would say next time that you are going to pay and if he continues to insist just reply that it's really demeaning to refuse to acknowledge what you want to do and if he won't let you pay there won't be another date
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    I think people should always go with mindset that you guys are going to pay for your own food. I would never expect a guy for me because I don't want to end up feeling like I owe him anything. And, I've paid for someone on the first date, its really not a big deal.
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    Its always 50/50 with me. Why should it be any different..?
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    I find it sexy when they're generous, but if they pay for the meal then I'll get the drinks or whatevs.
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    I thought of a nice little solution.

    'I'll pay for yours, and you pay for mine.'
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    (Original post by Limpopo)
    Its always 50/50 with me. Why should it be any different..?
    Who did the invite
    culture
    bargaining power
    earning power
    Special occasion
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell him this.
    It's difficult for a guy to date. You have the gold digging *****es who want the guy to pay, you have girls who don't want the guy to pay. Guys are raised thinking that we are expected to pay for our date.

    This is thing thing about you women. You never say things clearly, if at all. It always seems to be the opposite of what you mean, then you get all pissy because he did the thing you said eventhough you meant the obvious. And you expect the guy to just know.

    Don't come to TSR, do the obvious thing and tell him how you feel about it to his face. It's not rocket science. You shouldn't be moaning as you're not having to pay for ****.


    I'm in a **** mood and seeing this kind of post really doesn't help.
    Oh my! Normally, I come to defend women but I have to agree with you on this. Us women never actually say what we mean clearly. We expect men to know and that causes a lot of trouble. I agree.
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    (Original post by Abstract_Prism)
    I thought of a nice little solution.

    'I'll pay for yours, and you pay for mine.'
    I like it!
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    I feel it should be split 50/50 or just paying for your own. I made the mistake of visiting a fish and chips restaurant in London with my boyfriend and he ended up footing the £30 bill.. I felt so bad afterwards!

    Anyway, in this society men and women are generally equal so it's obviously not fair for men / women to pay for the whole meal themselves. Honestly, would you do the same thing with your friends? I don't really see how it would be any different if it was with someone you're seeing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell him this.
    It's difficult for a guy to date. You have the gold digging *****es who want the guy to pay, you have girls who don't want the guy to pay. Guys are raised thinking that we are expected to pay for our date.

    This is thing thing about you women. You never say things clearly, if at all. It always seems to be the opposite of what you mean, then you get all pissy because he did the thing you said eventhough you meant the obvious. And you expect the guy to just know.

    Don't come to TSR, do the obvious thing and tell him how you feel about it to his face. It's not rocket science. You shouldn't be moaning as you're not having to pay for ****.


    I'm in a **** mood and seeing this kind of post really doesn't help.
    I know someone like this. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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