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Im attracted to my boyfriend but theres one thing on my mind all the time. watch

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    Basically Ive starting to get very attracted to my boyfriend but the only thing that bothers me is that he has slept around a lot in his past which makes him seem a little 'cheap' for lack of a better word. Although its in my head, even if he got tested, I cant avoid the fact that someone who hasnt slept around would seem a little cleaner. Am I being a little shallow. Im fine with other weaknesses in people no one is perfect I know and there will be things about me he isnt keen on but yea, not sure what to do :/
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    Started to get attracted to your bf? 😂

    If he was careful and has no kids on the way, who are you to judge? He had a life before you, like you had before him. There's nothing you can do about it so you may as well get on with life and enjoy him in your life now.

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    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Started to get attracted to your bf? 😂

    If he was careful and has no kids on the way, who are you to judge? He had a life before you, like you had before him. There's nothing you can do about it so you may as well get on with life and enjoy him in your life now.

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    You have a point. Though Im the person whos dating him so surely, if nothing else, Im allowed to judge if i should take the higher than average risk of contracting high risk hpv and genital herpes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You have a point. Though Im the person whos dating him so surely, if nothing else, Im allowed to judge if i should take the higher than average risk of contracting high risk hpv and genital herpes.
    Being worried about diseases is fine. Both go and get tested. What I'm talking about is the actual sleeping about part. If he was safe, you have no issues.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You have a point. Though Im the person whos dating him so surely, if nothing else, Im allowed to judge if i should take the higher than average risk of contracting high risk hpv and genital herpes.
    Do you find it hard to trust him because he as slept with so many different women before you? Is that what the real problem is.
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    (Original post by Alfed)
    Do you find it hard to trust him because he as slept with so many different women before you? Is that what the real problem is.
    Not really (although that's a potential factor) it's more the idea/thought of where he's been. It's not a conscious thing I can't help it even if I'm told that I shouldn't feel like this. It's as though it's just human nature/biology we tend to be attracted to 'new things' rather than things that have been used over and over. Ive heard other girls say that they wouldn't sleep with a guy with a past but I am really attracted to him and we get on well. Even though it's a human/my bf I'm talking about its the best way I can explain it.

    Plus a small part of how I feel possibly results from his past behaviour maybe demonstrating that he sees sex more as just a cheap act of pleasure rather than making love.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really (although that's a potential factor) it's more the idea/thought of where he's been. It's not a conscious thing I can't help it even if I'm told that I shouldn't feel like this. It's as though it's just human nature/biology we tend to be attracted to 'new things' rather than things that have been used over and over. Ive heard other girls say that they wouldn't sleep with a guy with a past but I am really attracted to him and we get on well. Even though it's a human/my bf I'm talking about its the best way I can explain it.

    Plus a small part of how I feel possibly results from his past behaviour maybe demonstrating that he sees sex more as just a cheap act of pleasure rather than making love.
    So it is because he has been with other girls and it means emotionally you are just another person to him, you don't feel like sleeping with you would be that important to him beyond the sex? That's fair enough. But does it mean that you don't want to sleep with him or just that you need to talk with him about it? It is perfectly correct to judge people based on their action and base your feelings for them on their actions. You have every justification to be unsure about him and feel the way you do.
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    Attractive people generally have some opportunity and it's quite easy to rack up a fair list of previous partners. If you feel he's basically moral and committed to you then I would put it behind you and live for now.
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    I don't blame you, I wouldn't go near a woman who has slept around and that's not just because of stds
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    I personally find it quite disgusting for men and women to sleep around a lot. I don't care if today's society will consider me shallow but it would bother me so much yes


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically Ive starting to get very attracted to my boyfriend but the only thing that bothers me is that he has slept around a lot in his past which makes him seem a little 'cheap' for lack of a better word. Although its in my head, even if he got tested, I cant avoid the fact that someone who hasnt slept around would seem a little cleaner. Am I being a little shallow. Im fine with other weaknesses in people no one is perfect I know and there will be things about me he isnt keen on but yea, not sure what to do :/
    as long as he's disease free, it's a positive. Just go and both get tested together if STDs are your worry.

    Anyway, more women he's shagged, more likely he'll be good in bed.

    I would only be worried if his past meant he might be more likely to cheat on you, but that's dependent on his character / who he is as a person - which only you know. We cant tell you.
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    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Started to get attracted to your bf? 😂

    If he was careful and has no kids on the way, who are you to judge? He had a life before you, like you had before him. There's nothing you can do about it so you may as well get on with life and enjoy him in your life now.

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    It's her boyfriend, she has every right to judge whatever she wishes about him and if she doesn't like something about him she has every right to decide she no longer wants to be with him for whatever reason.
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    If it worries you then ask him to get checjed and show you the results. You agree to do the same. Its your body.

    Ps I ot the impression it was sti's you were concerned about not the fact he has slept around.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically Ive starting to get very attracted to my boyfriend but the only thing that bothers me is that he has slept around a lot in his past which makes him seem a little 'cheap' for lack of a better word. Although its in my head, even if he got tested, I cant avoid the fact that someone who hasnt slept around would seem a little cleaner. Am I being a little shallow. Im fine with other weaknesses in people no one is perfect I know and there will be things about me he isnt keen on but yea, not sure what to do :/
    Just both get tested rather than only asking him to get tested for sti's to make things less awkward.
    He can't really help what he did in his past now and if you really do want to be with him I suggest you overlook those things
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    (Original post by Tailored Suit)
    Please get rid of the medieval idea that sleeping around a lot makes someone unclean or dirty, it doesn't.
    It does mean they are at higher risk of having an STI.
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    I know what you mean. I once went out with someone who had never previously been in a relationship but had one night stands. The thought disgusted me a lot at the beginning, but if you like someone you get over it. Just because you feel like sex is important, should be done with someone you love, doesn't mean other people will. Make him get tested, and if he was practising safe sex then it shouldn't matter. His past is his past
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    You will never find a man who is able to sleep with many girls but chooses not to. You will however find many who want to but are unable to.

    Which would you prefer?
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    If you continue with this precious, judgemental nonsense I expect he will dump you for a girl who will not think his past partners are something to be ashamed of.
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    Ha! as you get older you are going to date a lot of men who have slept with more than three women, sorry, but it happens. Grow up.
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    (Original post by BradleyLawrence)
    Ha! as you get older you are going to date a lot of men who have slept with more than three women, sorry, but it happens. Grow up.
    Shes perfectly entitled to decide who she wants to sleep with and its perfectly normal to be concerned about stds. making sure she is happy she isnt going to cathc one and getting checked out seems the mature thing to do, so telling her to grow up is laughable.
 
 
 
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