Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Im attracted to my boyfriend but theres one thing on my mind all the time. Watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Shes perfectly entitled to decide who she wants to sleep with and its perfectly normal to be concerned about stds. making sure she is happy she isnt going to cathc one and getting checked out seems the mature thing to do, so telling her to grow up is laughable.
    That was not what she was trying to say though. You come across girls and boys like this before who just don't want to accept their boyfriend or girlfriend had been with people before them. Its perfectly acceptable for me to say grow up, because as you get older, the number of people you have slept with will only increase. This was never about STD's, if it was then she would never have originally spoke about how weird she feels about him being with other people.
    Its almost as if these people have not grown up.
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by BradleyLawrence)
    That was not what she was trying to say though. You come across girls and boys like this before who just don't want to accept their boyfriend or girlfriend had been with people before them. Its perfectly acceptable for me to say grow up, because as you get older, the number of people you have slept with will only increase. This was never about STD's, if it was then she would never have originally spoke about how weird she feels about him being with other people.
    Its almost as if these people have not grown up.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You have a point. Though Im the person whos dating him so surely, if nothing else, Im allowed to judge if i should take the higher than average risk of contracting high risk hpv and genital herpes.
    Is what she said.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by BradleyLawrence)
    Ha! as you get older you are going to date a lot of men who have slept with more than three women, sorry, but it happens. Grow up.
    Read this thread

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...s+slept+around

    Many people on there said that they would not marry a person who had slept with over 15 people. The above is just one thread. My boyfriend has slept with a much higher number than that. Should all the people who said 'hell no' in the thread just grow up? It seems a fairly common requirement from people that a potential partner hasn't slept around.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by BradleyLawrence)
    That was not what she was trying to say though. You come across girls and boys like this before who just don't want to accept their boyfriend or girlfriend had been with people before them. Its perfectly acceptable for me to say grow up, because as you get older, the number of people you have slept with will only increase. This was never about STD's, if it was then she would never have originally spoke about how weird she feels about him being with other people.
    Its almost as if these people have not grown up.
    It is about std's (who wants to face a higher risk of contracting high risk hpv and genital herpes -they don't even test for these) and the fact that he has slept with so many people. I can accept that he has been with people but it's just a very high number, if he had charged per shag, he'd be fairly rich.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    His previous partners are not a problem actually. The number of previous partners could be a potential problem, IMHO. He's easily switching his attention from one person to another and you could as well become 'yet another one'. I don't believe in people suddenly changing their lifestyle.

    I'd say - not worth it.
    • TSR Support Team
    Online

    19
    TSR Support Team
    He obviously likes you otherwise he wouldn't be with you.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lolakirk)
    It's her boyfriend, she has every right to judge whatever she wishes about him and if she doesn't like something about him she has every right to decide she no longer wants to be with him for whatever reason.
    She knew what she was getting into when she started the relationship.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    She knew what she was getting into when she started the relationship.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    And your point is?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BradleyLawrence)
    Ha! as you get older you are going to date a lot of men who have slept with more than three women, sorry, but it happens. Grow up.
    Not every woman dates 'a lot of men' in her life.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    maybe it just makes you feel less special/the relationship seems less important
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    If it helps then the issue she has is her concern with sti's, which seems a perfecly reasonable concern. the easy solution is for them to both go and get checked out.
    Herpes or infections which affect your fertility or worse arent things to be laughed at.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lolakirk)
    And your point is?
    Smh.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Smh.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Yeah, you don't have one. That's what I thought.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lolakirk)
    Yeah, you don't have one. That's what I thought.
    My point is she knew he'd been around. Clearly that wasn't an issue when she got into a relationship with him so I don't see why it's an issue now. If she really was worried about STIs then they could have easily got checked before they started sleeping together. As somebody else stated, it's clearly something more.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    My point is she knew he'd been around. Clearly that wasn't an issue when she got into a relationship with him so I don't see why it's an issue now. If she really was worried about STIs then they could have easily got checked before they started sleeping together. As somebody else stated, it's clearly something more.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I find that people are often too sure about things when forming an opinion, this is one of these instances.

    I'm not not denying that Im faultless in this situation but there is not much that is correct in your paragraph (besides the good English and that we should have got checked). For a start how do you know we have started sleeping together . Although getting tested seems easy, I'm not the most assertive when bringing it up in conversation. I have suggested testing twice but he said he was tested 2 years ago and insisted he was clear. I was embarrassed to push the conversation further as I didn't want him getting offended, this is my wimpy fault though. Even so sti tests do not test for high risk strain hpv and genital herpes.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I find that people are often too sure about things when forming an opinion, this is one of these instances.

    I'm not not denying that Im faultless in this situation but there is not much that is correct in your paragraph (besides the good English and that we should have got checked). For a start how do you know we have started sleeping together . Although getting tested seems easy, I'm not the most assertive when bringing it up in conversation. I have suggested testing twice but he said he was tested 2 years ago and insisted he was clear. I was embarrassed to push the conversation further as I didn't want him getting offended, this is my wimpy fault though. Even so sti tests do not test for high risk strain hpv and genital herpes.
    I'm sorry. I made assumptions. But my one about you sleeping together was purely based on the fact that you were worried about him having things but hadn't actually told him to get checked out.

    Well I'm sorry but this is one of those things where you're going to have to man up. If you're that worried, get more intense testing done. He's your boyfriend and you need to communicate. If he takes great offence to this (emphasis on the great) then you probably know where you stand.

    His past is the past and nothing can be changed now.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I find that people are often too sure about things when forming an opinion, this is one of these instances.

    I'm not not denying that Im faultless in this situation but there is not much that is correct in your paragraph (besides the good English and that we should have got checked). For a start how do you know we have started sleeping together . Although getting tested seems easy, I'm not the most assertive when bringing it up in conversation. I have suggested testing twice but he said he was tested 2 years ago and insisted he was clear. I was embarrassed to push the conversation further as I didn't want him getting offended, this is my wimpy fault though. Even so sti tests do not test for high risk strain hpv and genital herpes.
    If he said 2 years ago, has he slept with anyone since?

    If you want him to get tested, then offer to do the same as well so you both have peace of mind. Its hardly a big ask.

    If its annoying you and he wont listen, then hes happy to put you at risk, and doesnt listen so treat that acccordingly. If you catch one then youll be the one dealing with it.

    http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/arti...ner-get-tested
    http://www.gurl.com/2012/01/24/advic...iend-std-test/
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lolakirk)
    Not every woman dates 'a lot of men' in her life.
    Not everyone marries someone who they met when they were 18. If you find your wife/husband at 25, high chances that he/she has slept around a bit.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BradleyLawrence)
    Not everyone marries someone who they met when they were 18. If you find your wife/husband at 25, high chances that he/she has slept around a bit.
    If you are into sluts, then yeah, your spouse will probably have slept around by the time they're 25, otherwise no, not really. There are people in this world who only have sex in long term relationships, you know.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lolakirk)
    If you are into sluts, then yeah, your spouse will probably have slept around by the time they're 25, otherwise no, not really. There are people in this world who only have sex in long term relationships, you know.
    There is nothing wrong with safe promniscuity. Just because somebody may enjoy sleeping with multiple people does not mean they deserve to be called a slut.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 27, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.