We have feelings for each other, but can't be together... help? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Hey,

My friend and I are incredibly close. We've both admitted feelings with each other, I feel smitten with them, but due to circumstances outside of our control (I can't give them what they want within sexual desires) we could and never will be together.

It's hard when in every other circumstance it'd be great - we understand each other, etc. I'm just not sure how to move on from here.
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phunky_fresh
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#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
Why do you keep referring to the person as ''them"?

There isn't much that can be said. I can't really give you advice based on what you've written since your post is pretty vague.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#3
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(Original post by phunky_fresh)
Why do you keep referring to the person as ''them"?
To keep things gender-neutral for both parties, I would guess.

(Original post by phunky_fresh)
There isn't much that can be said. I can't really give you advice based on what you've written since your post is pretty vague.
Agree with you here. Not much advice can be given with this little to work with.
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blackcurrent101
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey,

My friend and I are incredibly close. We've both admitted feelings with each other, I feel smitten with them, but due to circumstances outside of our control (I can't give them what they want within sexual desires) we could and never will be together.

It's hard when in every other circumstance it'd be great - we understand each other, etc. I'm just not sure how to move on from here.
if youve accepted that then you probs shouldnt be together
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by phunky_fresh)
Why do you keep referring to the person as ''them"?

There isn't much that can be said. I can't really give you advice based on what you've written since your post is pretty vague.
To keep it neutral.

What information do you need?
They have a strong inclination toward a certain 'way of life' within a relationship, which I can not give to them, therefore we cannot be together. I want to know how I can move on. Knowing this is the reason we're not together (because I am unwilling to give them what they want) despite the fact that in all other areas we work great is hard. If they didn't like me back, if they weren't attracted to me sexually, emotionally, etc, it'd be a lot easier.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ishea16)
if youve accepted that then you probs shouldnt be together
I'm not saying I think we should - I'm asking how we can both move on because it's becoming a toxic situation
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blackcurrent101
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not saying I think we should - I'm asking how we can both move on because it's becoming a toxic situation
i know what you mean.
you just get used to it, it gets easier
you just need to avoid him and everything that reminds you of him
put your mind somewhere else
good luck x
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Masathat
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#8
You can talk more detail about the relasionship between you and your friend, about the problems that you faced with. Thank to this information, I and many people will give you some advises for this problem.
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Anonymous #2
#9
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#9
Currently in exactly the same boat here- you are not alone!
I haven't really found anything immediate that will help as I still want to retain the incredibly close friendship. However I have found that accepting your feelings (trying to suppress them just pushes you back further) is the best course and then it's just having patience to know you will move on in time and meet someone else.
I know it's very difficult when you think how perfect you could be together, but this needs to be treated like any other thing that would stop you having a relationship (e.g. they're in a relationship, sexuality etc) as you cannot go forward trying to rely on 'what if's.

I think what I was trying to say along with the tangent was it will take time. At the moment your emotions are raw and very elevated and they will subside with time. If you start thinking about them in any way other than a friend, stop yourself as soon as you can. You've still got your friendship and you are no longer in the dark about how the other feels. I know it hurts but it's better than not knowing.
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Anonymous #2
#10
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#10
Oh, and I forgot to say- treat him like a normal friend or how you were before (former is preferred!). Try and go back to normal if you can as long as there was no flirting etc. beyond the friendly stuff
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BWV1007
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#11
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#11
Continue being friends as normal for a month or so. If you find it hard to forget about your feelings, it might be best to cut him/her off. I know it sounds sad, but if you really can't be together and you still have feelings for each other, it'd be better for your mental-being to separate ways.
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Anonymous #3
#12
Report 4 weeks ago
#12
Are you asexual then?
(Original post by Anonymous)
To keep it neutral.

What information do you need?
They have a strong inclination toward a certain 'way of life' within a relationship, which I can not give to them, therefore we cannot be together. I want to know how I can move on. Knowing this is the reason we're not together (because I am unwilling to give them what they want) despite the fact that in all other areas we work great is hard. If they didn't like me back, if they weren't attracted to me sexually, emotionally, etc, it'd be a lot easier.
B
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Anonymous #4
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#13
Any updates?
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steinsgate
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#14
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#14
Get yourself another man lol. The only other thing u can do really is to distract yourself completely from him (which includes cutting him from your life) and time.
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