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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    It doesn't sound as if he's someone you should be chasing after anyway.
    You're right, he's trash and he's a loser and I was stupid and pathetic for liking him. Nonetheless the change of attitude will serve me well.
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    (Original post by Latin Beauty)
    i cant help it....i know bad girls are bad and i know good girls are the smart option...but bad girls are too damn sexy...im a sucker for one
    Good girls take you to heaven.. Bad girls take you everywhere

    Yeah well most guys aren't smart about this because the little brain takes over so it's smart for us girls not to be angels.
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    (Original post by toonervoustotalk)
    Why woulld you want to
    Be yourself
    Someone will love you for being yourself :yep:
    PRSOM

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Never change yourself for the sake of a man, honestly, where is the self esteem and respect of ladies nowadays?

    Do you know what men think when they hear the term 'bad girl'?
    Easy lay, quick shag, any variation of the above. They don't respect her for who she is; only what she has between her legs.

    Sure you can change yourself, but those types of men aren't what you want. Anyone can roll in mud, but the only thing you'll attract is pigs

    You do you and a man good for you will come along eventually, just be patient
    This ^
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    No point longing after someone who quite clearly doesn't want you. As said above, if you think becoming a 'bad girl' will get you results, you'll just end up with pigs.

    And then you'll be back on TSR to make a thread about how all the good men are taken and/or are all pigs.

    Treat yourself with respect, have standards but be open minded and you'll get a good man.

    He isn't just going to turn up on your doorstep though. Effort is needed on your part.
    I don't think that's true because a lot of good girls end up with the pigs. They are the ones who get taken for a ride they are naive. Bad girls on the other than can't be stepped on so easily and if you so much as try to you won't have any balls left by the end of the whole ordeal.

    Yes I still plan to treat myself with respect and whole point of this is about raising my standards. I'll never be anyone's fool, second best, orbiter etc.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    You could become a bit more evil. But in my experience 'girl next door ' can be very successful
    Only in the movies.
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    (Original post by cosmic angel)
    Firstly this is a cool thread. The guys on this thread are being nice, aren't they :cute:

    I was going to just lurk here but when I read that I wanted to say: no, no no! I used to think like you but there are guys who are really attracted to nice girls, in fact it's just their type. They're usually Mr Grey types, like that guy from The Secretary.
    Oh so you mean sadists who want to abuse them and corrupt their innocence i.e. turn them into their own personal bad girl
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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    He'll think differently once he's caught an STI

    Girls like that never are brides as guys like her for sex, you're best as you are, you're marriage material as they say.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Not true. There's reformed easy girls walking down the aisle everyday, I would argue more than the more reserved girls.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If the friendzone doesn't exist then how do you explain my situation, and the millions of other nice girls and guys especially across the planet who have been in the friendzone if it but a figament of the imagination? Just because it doesn't suit you doesn't mean there aren't others in it right now. Anyway I couldn't give an ish about the friendzone any more I realised that I'm too good for that. If they don't like it they can eff off.

    I think I'm going to enjoy being bad though :sexface: Who says I won't like it? Plus I maintain that bad girls get the best guys. People who go for what they want get what they want in life in generally. Those who sit around being all nicey, nicey are just asking to get trampled on.
    Because just because you are "nice" does not entitle you to sweet FA

    Im just going to copy and paste (and clean it up somewhat) a fb rant i put up on the subject over xmas, instead of writing it out again.

    If there is an attraction there and both parties want or are able for a relationship then it can happen. The friendzone is a load of bollox put out but by needy insecure (mostly) men who think that because (mostly) a woman wants to be a friend that means they should/must somehow be attracted to you.
    It is most certainly true that friends can and do form very strong relationships (I've done it in the past) primarily because they were friends first but just because a man and woman are friends does not mean either side is entitled to more. Speaking of entitlement (which the friendzone argument ultimately boils down to) being a cross between a decent human being and a damn lapdog does not entitle you to sex. The friendzone is something invented by men who think that treating a person in the correct manner, means said women of thier attraction should put out. In short - bull

    The friendzone is almost synonymous with "nice guy syndrome" and "nice guys" can (and usually are) be the most emotionally misogynistic manipulative shits out there - often without realising it. Oh and while were on the subject because i KNOW this has been said about me (behind my back naturally enough) in the past. Just because someone is confident, outgoing, flirty or gregarious does NOT make them an "*******" or a "bad boy" It just means that they are shock horror not basing thier own self worth and esteem on other people (women) opinion of them.
    Nice guys on the other hand are such anally stunted pisswits the only way they think they can try and land a girlfriend is to act like a loyal puppy with the personality of the *****iest drag queen on steroids. In short they put others down to make themselves look better (in the eyes of thier target anyway). Decent people dont need to shout from the roof tops that they are "nice" they just be who they are.

    A favourite phrase "nice guys finish last because women only want the jerks who treat them badly" The name Elliot Rodgers ring any bells? He was a "nice guy" too. You do not get to dictate how, what, where, why and who a person is attracted to and you sure as hell do not have the right to complain about the "friendzone" just because that person is not you. AND if you happen to think that by being a friend you are entitled to more it just goes to show two things. One your not nice at all and two your not a friend either - your a manipulative shite who twists who you are into what you think that other wants or worse should want.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm seriously done being the nice girl. All that happens is I get ignored or trampled on. Meanwhile the bad girls take home all at goodies. My crush started dating a girl who has already slept with 3 of our mutual friends, plus many many other guys. He completely friendzoned me and he really likes her. I'm at my wits end now!!! This is not the first time this has happened!

    How do I become bad? Someone please help me kill the good girl inside me once and for all!
    Stick to your guns, sound like a slippery slope to me. You know no one respects a whore, for instance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No I don't know his family.

    I haven't asked him why, though I'm very curious. The girl is actually overweight, and I've heard many people refer to her as 'the ugly one'. I'm not sure what his type is he doesn't usually openly express attraction towards other.
    Do you know this girl as well, have you been friends with her? Because I think your hurt about being friendzoned is making you *****y and bitter towards this girl.

    Be the bigger person and don't sabotage their relationship, if he's happy then you should be happy for him. If it ends badly then you'll be there for him when he needs you and he'll appreciate that more than you making crappy comments about his girlfriends looks.
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    I'm going to give it to you straight. You're not going to like this, but you need to hear it. You've made the nieve mistake of buying into the"it's all about personality",myth when in reality it really just boils down to this.

    physically he probably just isn't attracted to you much. I know it's hard to hear but honestly with guys it's like 75% looks, and if you don't pass his standards there's little much a change of personality will do you.

    make sure you are in shape, loose glasses and get contacts if you have any. start dressing more sexily, start using makeup to make yourself more appealing.

    This will help out to a degree with future interest from guys.

    beccoming a "Bad girl" won't help you out much at all.
    The personality change that would help you out with interest from guys is if you became a slutty girl.

    A slutty girl will have appeal to many guys even if she's nothing really special to look at. From the way you describe your rival that is possibly what it is. You assume he wants her for a long time gf, when in reality he probably just wants to have some casual sex. .

    I'm sorry for this post, but it's better you know the truth now rather than buying into this "personality" fairytail/myth which is peddled everywhere

    it is "TYPE" which is the most important thing in dating.
    If you are a persons "TYPE".then often you will be granted some leyway on looks. Infact "TYPE" and ":LOOKS" are closely intertwined because the type of guy/girl you go for influences how you rate someone elses looks/appeal.

    If you are not a persons type, then to have the same chance as a person who is that persons type you need to be noticeably better looking.


    best advice I can give you is to work on your looks.
    anyone here telling you to work on your "personality" lacks any real understanding of the dating game
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm seriously done being the nice girl. All that happens is I get ignored or trampled on. Meanwhile the bad girls take home all at goodies. My crush started dating a girl who has already slept with 3 of our mutual friends, plus many many other guys. He completely friendzoned me and he really likes her. I'm at my wits end now!!! This is not the first time this has happened!

    How do I become bad? Someone please help me kill the good girl inside me once and for all!
    Just know that sometimes you're gonna like someone who internally is wasted. Don't aspire to be anything, especially someone different or lesser than who you are, for some random person, who clearly doesn't even have proper judgment since he's sleeping around with someone just because she's easy. Trust, you will find someone who appreciates you for you as you are now and who you will continue to grow into, as others have said in this thread. Just coming to help reassure you of this I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and I made a HORRIBLE mistake upon horrible mistakes to impress stupid people who turned out not to be worth it!
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Do you know Romy and Michele's High School Reunion? It's a comedy movie but it's actually really good lol if you haven't seen it it's basically about two women who go to their high school meet up after graduating years ago. They reunite with people who humiliated them and who turned out to be unsuccessful and despised, and they saw their former high school crush became a complete drunken jerk who lost his looks lol This has happened to me as well after going to Uni and looking on Facebook at my former classmates lol

    So anyway just tryna reinforce the rather solid idea that the guy probably isn't worth it.
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    *And also know many men want a woman who, yes, is sexy to them and will please them sexually but if that's ALL he seems to want then skip him.
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    Yes I think they do get the best guys.
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    They better not
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    Good or bad, if you're rubbish in bed then I can't stay with you.


    inb4 'omg sex ain't everything' --- Sex is a huge thing for most people in relationships and probably the number one reason while they fail.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    I'm going to give it to you straight. You're not going to like this, but you need to hear it. You've made the nieve mistake of buying into the"it's all about personality",myth when in reality it really just boils down to this.

    physically he probably just isn't attracted to you much. I know it's hard to hear but honestly with guys it's like 75% looks, and if you don't pass his standards there's little much a change of personality will do you.

    make sure you are in shape, loose glasses and get contacts if you have any. start dressing more sexily, start using makeup to make yourself more appealing.

    This will help out to a degree with future interest from guys.

    beccoming a "Bad girl" won't help you out much at all.
    The personality change that would help you out with interest from guys is if you became a slutty girl.

    A slutty girl will have appeal to many guys even if she's nothing really special to look at. From the way you describe your rival that is possibly what it is. You assume he wants her for a long time gf, when in reality he probably just wants to have some casual sex. .

    I'm sorry for this post, but it's better you know the truth now rather than buying into this "personality" fairytail/myth which is peddled everywhere

    it is "TYPE" which is the most important thing in dating.
    If you are a persons "TYPE".then often you will be granted some leyway on looks. Infact "TYPE" and ":LOOKS" are closely intertwined because the type of guy/girl you go for influences how you rate someone elses looks/appeal.

    If you are not a persons type, then to have the same chance as a person who is that persons type you need to be noticeably better looking.


    best advice I can give you is to work on your looks.
    anyone here telling you to work on your "personality" lacks any real understanding of the dating game
    Pfft lol I disagree with this. Unless she dresses like a caveman I doubt she has to start "dressing sexily" and wearing makeup to be found attractive. Women are found attractive all the time without any of that. Most men, especially the experienced ones, can determine a woman's sex appeal without any of that stuff, and can see a woman's body shape in even loose clothing or complimenting clothing like a basic tshirt and jeans with little skin showing. I wear long shirts that fit to my arms and torso but then have a flowy flare over my bum and get compliments all the time and I NEVER wear makeup, heels, etc on a casual day. But I get told they know my butt is nice because my shirt moves a lot when I walk so they still pay attention. So I just completely look down on the idea of revealing yourself and dressing provocatively for positive male attention. Men deep down think less of a woman who is looking "thirsty" anyway. They pay attention because they think she "wants it," not because they necessarily respect her.
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    Nahh trust me its a respect thing. I've spoken to a few guys about this, and on a night out or when they just want sex they'll go for the easy ones and just flirt their way in between her legs, but meeting a girl who isn't like those other girls stays in their minds and they have way more respect for her (apparently, but this is pretty schit thing to know considering its 2016 cmon) plus there will come a time when a guy wants more than sex, and you'll be the main aim. Don't be ashamed of not sleeping around, just like girls shouldn't be ashamed of sleeping around, but I'd rather be friends with guys and on good terms than have my name floating around and people comparing their experiences w/ me. If he goes for an easy girl and is a phuck boy then thats that- U R A GODDESS WORRY NOT GAL
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    (Original post by LittleMissMay)
    Pfft lol I disagree with this. Unless she dresses like a caveman I doubt she has to start "dressing sexily" and wearing makeup to be found attractive. Women are found attractive all the time without any of that. Most men, especially the experienced ones, can determine a woman's sex appeal without any of that stuff, and can see a woman's body shape in even loose clothing or complimenting clothing like a basic tshirt and jeans with little skin showing. I wear long shirts that fit to my arms and torso but then have a flowy flare over my bum and get compliments all the time and I NEVER wear makeup, heels, etc on a casual day. But I get told they know my butt is nice because my shirt moves a lot when I walk so they still pay attention. So I just completely look down on the idea of revealing yourself and dressing provocatively for positive male attention. Men deep down think less of a woman who is looking "thirsty" anyway. They pay attention because they think she "wants it," not because they necessarily respect her.
    In some ways you are right.
    no matter what a woman looks like if she creates a profile on an online dating site she will be inundated with offers no matter what. I have seen many dating experiments like this, and know this to be the case.

    however in a more ofline environment [like the one she is talking about], men will not just ask any female with a pulse to be their girlfriend. If you are frequently getting compliments and stuff without makeup this would suggest that by conventual standards you are considered attractive. I am assuming the girl in the OP might be more towards the average range [or possibly below average] as she said she's never had a bf before, and her posts give off the vibe she doesn't get all that much attention in general from men. In her particular case enhancing her attractiveness through makeup or clothes would likely be beneficial. In your case, it sounds like you are already considered attractive enough by conventual standards to not have to take this route. Dating is not a one size fit all affair. My advice was tailored towards the OP.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    In some ways you are right.
    no matter what a woman looks like if she creates a profile on an online dating site she will be inundated with offers no matter what. I have seen many dating experiments like this, and know this to be the case.

    however in a more ofline environment [like the one she is talking about], men will not just ask any female with a pulse to be their girlfriend. If you are frequently getting compliments and stuff without makeup this would suggest that by conventual standards you are considered attractive. I am assuming the girl in the OP might be more towards the average range [or possibly below average] as she said she's never had a bf before, and her posts give off the vibe she doesn't get all that much attention in general from men. In her particular case enhancing her attractiveness through makeup or clothes would likely be beneficial. In your case, it sounds like you are already considered attractive enough by conventual standards to not have to take this route. Dating is not a one size fit all affair. My advice was tailored towards the OP.
    I was as well talking about offline... I actually find online dating a whole new struggle, which is why I don't do it. People are way more shallow online because they've no choice but to go by someone's looks. Anyway, and many times yes men will ask any female with a pulse to be their girlfriend, sadly. "On to the next one" as they say, if they get rejected. And OP can very well be naturally attractive just clueless or crippled by certain insecurities, which is actually kinda normal. I had an ugly duckling phase and then got a clue, but it had nothing to do with makeup and short tight skirts. The best advice anyone can give anyone is to never alter yourself for anyone. Her issue seriously might not even be her looks, and even if it is, the girl still can be attractive and hopeless in the dating world because she still didn't fix her insecurities and still didn't learn how to interact or how to present her personality, which you strangely undervalue in women.
 
 
 
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