I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years now, and as much as we enjoy each other's company, there are times in the week when it becomes strained. We end up shouting at each other. She suffers from Sleep Apnoea and Delayed Phase Sleep Syndrome and she'll sleep most of the day, from 10am right through to at least 11pm, and I am awake during the day, and she is livelier at night, when I've gone to bed. Her sleep patterns vary, particularly if she is going out anywhere. We do things together as well but these are only occasional, and now as the long Summer days are nearly here, we are talking about doing more together, such as trips to the coast etc., which we are looking forward to.
On Mondays, she enjoys singing in a local choir, and with my love of music, I enjoy a couple of hours uploading my favourite music to a regular music group on Facebook and YouTube. On various occasions that she has been getting prepared for her choir, I always get shouted at once I start preparing for my music zone, which gives me such anxiety, as I suffer from depression and mental health issues and this is my therapy. We end up in silly arguments such as me saying she wouldn't like it if I criticised her interest in sewing as well as going to choir. I know what I do isn't like being on a real radio station. She refers to it as "Let's pretend." We know what we both love. I'm a sensitive man, and it does annoy me so when she will accuse me of "putting my interest before hers," when I appreciate she has her interests as well. I have always been a tolerant man, never violent and treats her with respect, but I feel really hurt when she will dispute this and compare me with her ex's that mistreated her, stalked her, go through her phone and queried all male friends she knows. I love her so much, I have told her this on many occasions. Sometimes she will make sounds that she disbelieves me. Could she be having a bad day? Other times, she's as sweet as anything. I am completely confused with this Jekyll and Hyde persona!!
Struggles with relationship Watch
- Thread Starter
- 25-03-2016 13:15
- 25-03-2016 17:51
Sometimes there comes a point where you always argue with your partner and you always get back to them, but the reason you get back with them may not be because you love them, it could be that you're scared that you'll find nobody else who will love you and you just miss the feeling of being important in somebody's life. I'm not saying this is necessarily you but I do think you should re-evaluate why you like her in the first place and if the current relationship is worth the issues you're going through with her right now. People change and sometimes the person you originally loved isn't there anymore.
I think the both of you need a break in your relationship, but before doing so tell her at least how you feel about her behaviour towards you.
Having a bit of space will allow the both of you to think properly about your relationship.
The last thing you want is miscommunication and not being able to open up to her. A healthy relationship doesn't consist of restricting your partner and if anything the two of you should be allowing each other to continue with hobbies and goals you have in life without bringing the other down. It's not healthy that the two of you are like this so so your best to talk it out and don't be afraid to express how you feel, you have every right to feel the way you do and you shouldn't have to be guilty for it.
All the best op x
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