On a search around the internet my brain has exploded and I feel like giving up. So many conflicting opinions, so many tips, so much reading, so much stuff that i might have to take into account. I came on the internet to gain more confidence and help, but i feel so confused. I really want to get past the first date stage. At the moment it seems impossible. Everyone is getting a girlfriend and i seem to be the only one left who's single. I've never been any good at dating. I always reflect and think maybe it's due to the fact that I never had a dad (he was a ****) and never had a male role model.
Then I ask my cousin who says I must ensure I stay mysterious, I must make sure I don't be too nice, I must take charge, don't be too much of a gentleman... It's all to vague. I have a basic understanding of what it means, but it's so hard to actually put into practice and I always end up where I was before. Am I ugly, should i work harder in the gym before I get back on the dating scene, did I appear too needy, did i look like a pussy? It feels like to become successful I have to alter my behaviour so much (at the moment I am doing ****) that I become someone else, but I always end up back who I was before.
After my date yesterday i felt the most depressed I have in a while. Like I threw everything away. I haven't heard any response yet. I feel like banging my head because of simple **** ups.
How can I stop worrying? After every unsucessful date I feel less of a man. I am so worried about not appearing too needy and weak and try hard not to but i always end up back where I was.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Turn on thread page Beta
So confused about dating. Why am I never seeing success? watch
- Thread Starter
Last edited by jblackmoustache; 25-03-2016 at 18:20.
- 25-03-2016 18:18
Offline22ReputationRep:Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
- 26-03-2016 10:26
It's probably them and not you.
It may also be as you come across. I've had dates with someone who just bored me and was quite clearly desparate. No thanks.
- 26-03-2016 11:06
Just be you! there's no need to pay attention to tips like 'don't be too nice' because that's complete ********. Just be yourself and if they're not right for you, leave it and find someone else.
- 26-03-2016 11:11
Maybe you're not good looking enough and they realise that having been on a date with you. Go gym get shredded and acquire biatches. Easily done.
- 26-03-2016 11:44
Getting girls is like making omelettes, you've just got to smash some eggs and not care if it turns out badly.
- 26-03-2016 12:13
I don't think it's anything to do with the way you look, unless these dates you've been on were blind dates. I definetly think it's more to do with the vibe you're giving off, maybe you are coming across as too needy. I started to get worried myself, I am an attractive girl and sometimes I really struggle with dating. I've been able to put two and two together and I've realised it's down the vibes I'm giving off.
I am not really the friendliest when i'm out and about, plus I find it really hard to trust anyone. So when I do actually get round to going on dates I am proper guarded and of course men can sense this. Over the years I've heard guys basically point out where the issue was and I really wasn't understanding until recently. You need to sit down and really think about how you're coming across. Do these girls cut you off completely after if the date didn't go well? If not then you could plug them a bit to see if they will tell you the real reason they've rejected you. I've found that I've been able to get some good feedback from the guys I've dated this way.
- 26-03-2016 12:22
Stop looking for it and that dad thing is nonsense, I think from reading your post you probably just have a general problem in interacting with others. Probably also dealing with depression which doesn't help you when it comes to dating, plus when you are bad at socialising with the opposite sex and try these step by step techniques they could probably easily guess and you just will come off as either desperate/weird or if the woman is kind inexperienced. Just be yourself when it comes to dating and hopefully you will attract someone who does like you.Last edited by Zechs; 26-03-2016 at 12:25.
- 26-03-2016 13:47
You haven't received a response yet? Have you tried texting/calling this girl to set up another date?
My advice to you is to stop reading these relationship/dating advice articles online, most of them are crap, written by people who haven't been in a successful relationship before.
Even on TSR you're going to get 100 responses from 100 people and most of it will conflict.
Go to the gym
Get a hair cut
Improve your dress sense/grooming
Don't be too nice
Be nice and gentlemanly
The list goes on. I'll add to this and just say you need to meet more people without the intention of getting a girlfriend. Just get to know them, who they are as people, their likes and dislikes. Yes, if the opportunity presents itself ask them out.
Then again, it doesn't seem like getting dates is your problem.
What kind of girls are you meeting? And which medium (online/through friends) etc?