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Relatives interfering

I don't know why but I dislike my aunt even though I don't really have a good enough reason too. The thing is she is funny with me most of the time sometimes when she comes to visit (about 4 times a week) I will be walking downstairs comming back from the toilet and she will shut the living room door before I get downstairs and start whispering to my mum. Ive heard her before tell my mum to ignore me, why should she pay my uni fees etc. Admitted she shouldn't have done but she offered to pay for the fiirst year but stopped with my aunts encouragement, its the principal of the thing more than anything but I don't mind paying my own as I should do. Another thing is my nan offered to pay £300 towards a car as long as I took her shopping twice a week and after this my aunt asked if she could take it out of the £500will that my grandad left which I haven't yet recieved, I couldn't say no but its her interfering that annoys me. I then didn't have enough for the car I was going to get and 2 days ago we were talking about how her son was not maturing and still wouldn't work or learn to drive and she suddenly said that I had had my chance to have a car but I refused as I wanted someone else to buy it for me.

Would you dislike her in my position do you think, or am I just a bad person who she is trying to stop from being spoilt :confused:

Reply 1

dh00001

16

she sounds like a bit of a bitch really. i have a relative like that, they seem to like being involved in some drama and organising everything. its annoying

Reply 2

Segat1

16

I'd tell her to mind her own.

Reply 3

sufiankane

2

well, unfortunately, she is older than you, so you cant really say anything to her. though she is being a bit annoying, unfortunately confornting family members is always a dangerous game unless you know what to do. Most of the time you will lose. Talk to your mumma and she the reason why, for all you knwo there could be financial problems or anything. you never know.

Reply 4

AEH

8

Confront her about it, seeing as she's obviously embarassed about it. All this door-closing, whispering nonsense, if she wants to be a grown up she can speak like one.

Reply 5

Malkmus

11

Yeah, this isn't a great situation to be in. You shouldn't feel bad about it or question whether you are in the wrong or not. From what you've said you have nothing to feel bad about. Just because she's a relative doesn't mean she's automatically looking out for your best interests. I'd definitely discuss it with your mum and see what she says/thinks. Then based on that reaction and how you think things will proceed from there decide if it's a good idea to confront your aunt about it. The whispering and door closing all seems a little childish to me - not the way you'd expect an aunt to behave anyway. I mean if she has a problem with you then you would have thought she'd have talked to you about it. Good luck with things anyway, hope it all works out for you.

Reply 6

horrorboy

OP

I could confront her about it, she has done it for years though and I asked in a joking way what what so secret and she said 'were having a private conversation'. Its nothing to do with me but its annoying being shut out of your living room lol, I asked my mum and she laughed and said I could come in for all she cared and I said 'yeh but your sister kinda shuts me out' and she said 'well thats nothing to do with me have it out with her'. lol I think she just has the 'why should he know' attitude. It also annoys me when she comes and says 'are you making a coffee cock' im not bothered about making others coffee just her I have something against her and and she has something against me. Anyway enough of the relative talk I sound like a whining old man.

Reply 7

Malkmus

11

I think you should confront her firmly about it. You say it's been going on for a while so maybe if you finally discuss it with her, without beating around the bush or talking about it jokingly, then she'll realise she can't walk over you and get away with being like this with you. Talk to your mum first though. If it's bothering you then I don't think you should just tolerate it.

Reply 8

*Mike*

11

she sounds like an evil selfish cow.

Reply 9

Malkmus

11

*Mike*

she sounds like an evil selfish cow.

What ever you do, don't sugar coat your words! :biggrin:

Reply 10

Seoid

horrorboy

I don't know why but I dislike my aunt even though I don't really have a good enough reason too. The thing is she is funny with me most of the time sometimes when she comes to visit (about 4 times a week) I will be walking downstairs comming back from the toilet and she will shut the living room door before I get downstairs and start whispering to my mum. Ive heard her before tell my mum to ignore me, why should she pay my uni fees etc. Admitted she shouldn't have done but she offered to pay for the fiirst year but stopped with my aunts encouragement, its the principal of the thing more than anything but I don't mind paying my own as I should do. Another thing is my nan offered to pay £300 towards a car as long as I took her shopping twice a week and after this my aunt asked if she could take it out of the £500will that my grandad left which I haven't yet recieved, I couldn't say no but its her interfering that annoys me. I then didn't have enough for the car I was going to get and 2 days ago we were talking about how her son was not maturing and still wouldn't work or learn to drive and she suddenly said that I had had my chance to have a car but I refused as I wanted someone else to buy it for me.

Would you dislike her in my position do you think, or am I just a bad person who she is trying to stop from being spoilt :confused:

From what you've said, it sounds to me like she's jealous. Women can be soo competitive about their children - I've seen this between my mum and her sisters - and it seems to me that she's jealous that you are doing well and being responsible when her own son "isn't maturing." She's being nasty and spiteful because she's bitter. She wants to stand in the way of you doing wel because she doesn't want her own son to look even worse. It's really hard to deal with a situation like this, especially because she's family. You could try talking to her, but unless the situation is totally unbearable, I would say wait it out because eventually she'll have no control over your life and it won't make any difference anyway. The main thing to be wary of is that she doesn't try to turn your mother against you - unlikely I think, but still your mother does seem influenced by her so you can't be definite.

I know what a pain aunts can be - I have 6 of them! Remember that siblings are always competitive with each other no matter how old they get, and it can be really disheartening for a mum who's struggling to see other kids doing well. Try not to hold it against her too much - it is childish but she may mellow out, especially if her own son gets his act together.

Reply 11

Hanzing

13

^ I have to agree with the above poster, When I read what she said about her son it was obvious she may have some jelousy over her son and and how well your doing. I have 7 aunts (Only 3 of them drive me mad though.. treating me like a child..Oh the kisses.. Im 20 already! *rant*) and there always comparing children etc.
Thing is it would be hard to confront her, as she is your mums sister and so you dont want to make too much of a rift if you bring it up. You might have to tell your mum how much her behaviour bothers you, it seems like from your previous comments she might not realise how much its annoying you.

Reply 12

horrorboy

OP

To be honest I don't think she is that jelous because im not doing particularly well, I dropped out of uni at the end of the second year but got a certificate not a degree. Ive had depression and all that goes with it so im not exactly the model son, though Im not destructive and wasting my life like her son then again I am almost 2 years older than him.

Then again I know what you mean and you could be right as my aunt was always joking and taking the mick out of her fiances son calling him Einstein behind his back with my mum as he got A's and A*'s for his GCSE's when her son wasn't even in to take most of them. I know what you mean about the competitiveness its strange.

Reply 13

Melissa85

Feel bad for you mate thats all i can say

Reply 14

decky1989

1

horrorboy

I don't know why but I dislike my aunt even though I don't really have a good enough reason too. The thing is she is funny with me most of the time sometimes when she comes to visit (about 4 times a week) I will be walking downstairs comming back from the toilet and she will shut the living room door before I get downstairs and start whispering to my mum. Ive heard her before tell my mum to ignore me, why should she pay my uni fees etc. Admitted she shouldn't have done but she offered to pay for the fiirst year but stopped with my aunts encouragement, its the principal of the thing more than anything but I don't mind paying my own as I should do. Another thing is my nan offered to pay £300 towards a car as long as I took her shopping twice a week and after this my aunt asked if she could take it out of the £500will that my grandad left which I haven't yet recieved, I couldn't say no but its her interfering that annoys me. I then didn't have enough for the car I was going to get and 2 days ago we were talking about how her son was not maturing and still wouldn't work or learn to drive and she suddenly said that I had had my chance to have a car but I refused as I wanted someone else to buy it for me.

Would you dislike her in my position do you think, or am I just a bad person who she is trying to stop from being spoilt :confused:

could it be that she is jealous because relatives are giving you money and they aren't giving her son any? or your relatives like you better than her son. she sounds like an aunt from HELL who doesnt want you to have a car etc before her son or am i wrong???

Reply 15

sufiankane

2

horrorboy

To be honest I don't think she is that jelous because im not doing particularly well, I dropped out of uni at the end of the second year but got a certificate not a degree. Ive had depression and all that goes with it so im not exactly the model son, though Im not destructive and wasting my life like her son then again I am almost 2 years older than him.

Then again I know what you mean and you could be right as my aunt was always joking and taking the mick out of her fiances son calling him Einstein behind his back with my mum as he got A's and A*'s for his GCSE's when her son wasn't even in to take most of them. I know what you mean about the competitiveness its strange.

just dont confornt her, confornting family members is ALWAYS dangerous.

Reply 16

FadedJade

15

That's no reason not to confront her. You also said he shouldn't confront her because she's older, they are both adults, what difference does it make?

Absolutely none, have it out with her.

Relatives interfering

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