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Terrified about my mental health-extremely low mood Watch

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    I've noticed that my mental health has been getting progressively worse since Christmas. At first I thought I was just sad and stressed from school, but the feels have intensified and I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with it.

    I'm so confused. There are days when I feel like things are fine, life is good, I'm going to be ok, but then there are days when everything is too much. I can hardly hold in the tears until I'm alone. When I'm alone or at home I just cry a lot, I'm inconsolable, crying constantly for an hour or so until my stomach aches and I can't breathe anymore.

    I have so much to look forward to in life, but I don't know if I'll be alive long enough to enjoy it. I'm not sure if I'm making all of this sadness up, like in a ploy for attention, or whether I'm sad with happy phases or happy with sad phases. I get angry at myself for worrying other people like my mum, or feeling like a selfish liar as I act fine in front of my friends at school but whenever I feel comfortable enough with people to tell them the truth I seem like such a downer. I want to be able to have fun, but I'm too scared, I feel like something is destined to go wrong or that anywhere outside my house is unsafe.

    I don't want to feel like this anymore. I feel sad for no reason and that makes me feel guilty because I have friends with genuine issues, like ill family members, and then there's just me who on paper has everything, an amazing life ahead of them, but on the inside feels absolutely awful.

    Does anyone have any advice on what to do? All of this is greatly interfering with my A Levels. I've been skipping lessons because I'm scared of what will happen if I just have a complete breakdown and start crying in front of the whole class. I have my first exam in a month and I'm really struggling to turn up to school
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've noticed that my mental health has been getting progressively worse since Christmas. At first I thought I was just sad and stressed from school, but the feels have intensified and I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with it.

    I'm so confused. There are days when I feel like things are fine, life is good, I'm going to be ok, but then there are days when everything is too much. I can hardly hold in the tears until I'm alone. When I'm alone or at home I just cry a lot, I'm inconsolable, crying constantly for an hour or so until my stomach aches and I can't breathe anymore.

    I have so much to look forward to in life, but I don't know if I'll be alive long enough to enjoy it. I'm not sure if I'm making all of this sadness up, like in a ploy for attention, or whether I'm sad with happy phases or happy with sad phases. I get angry at myself for worrying other people like my mum, or feeling like a selfish liar as I act fine in front of my friends at school but whenever I feel comfortable enough with people to tell them the truth I seem like such a downer. I want to be able to have fun, but I'm too scared, I feel like something is destined to go wrong or that anywhere outside my house is unsafe.

    I don't want to feel like this anymore. I feel sad for no reason and that makes me feel guilty because I have friends with genuine issues, like ill family members, and then there's just me who on paper has everything, an amazing life ahead of them, but on the inside feels absolutely awful.

    Does anyone have any advice on what to do? All of this is greatly interfering with my A Levels. I've been skipping lessons because I'm scared of what will happen if I just have a complete breakdown and start crying in front of the whole class. I have my first exam in a month and I'm really struggling to turn up to school
    From the sounds of things, three months is an awfully long time to be battling with conflicting emotions. You are bound to get plenty of cliche 'go see a gp' comments, but honestly it will be worth it.

    From the sounds of things, your stress from christmas and the A-levels have added together to form an environmental cue to depression. Going to see a GP is best to get this confirmed, and even helped. But please note that you are never alone. I like to think of depression as an analogy, by using swimming to explain it. Life is your ocean, and you are one in seven billion swimming in the ocean. But as long as you keep treading that water and there is still air in your floating pads or whatever you use, no matter how much water is added (stress), you will still float. You are never going to sink, okay?

    The feeling that you will drown in this ocean (not be able to cope) is simply in your mind. Trust me, I have suffered this enough. And if things grow too stressful or too much, take yourself away from it and find something you enjoy. With the early onsets, you should still know what you enjoy doing. Hold onto that, because if this gets worse it will try taking them away or making you forget, which could leave you feeling hopeless. But please, never forget that this is all in your head and it's not true. If you seek help, soon, then you will soon feel better. I'm by your side if you need me. Feel free to drop me a PM if you want anything
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    Is there anyone you can confide in? A relative you can talk to about how you feel? A friend who will understand what its all about?
    I find letting go of everything helps not trying to control your state of mind and just trying to relax. A little me time. A treat you like, I like croissants and hot chocolate after a nice long hot bath. And than a warm bed with a hot water bottle. I used to snuggle up with my cat and just consciously real each and every part of my body until I felt asleep letting go of everything as I drifted off, then a lie in and have warm croissants and hot chocolate another bath for a couple of hours. Usually does the trick.

    Just a word of warning about letting everything go in the short term things can get worse mentally but in the long run it works you can learn to let go of your problems and relax.
 
 
 
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