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    Hey TSR,

    So last night I went out with some friends back home over Easter holidays. I have 1 friend whom I study at uni in the same city who has also come home for Easter. I've known her for 2 years now.

    We ended the night with our first argument, and I don't know how to react now, I tried talking to her on the taxi home but she didn't want to talk.

    I love her as a friend, we know so much about each other, and I don't want to lose her as a friend and she would feel the same, but our friendship has been at a stalemate forever now, I did like her at one point and have exclaimed that I did like her but was turned down, this was 6 months ago, and maybe there's still some part of me that wants to be with her, but I just want a platonic relationship.

    The reason our friendship is at a stalemate, she doesn't want to do anything together and is a very 'no' character. I want to invite her to sleepover, movie nights, cuddle, open up to each other more, we live 5 minutes away from each other and her roommates don't speak to her. But she is always wierded out with idea of hanging out, so all we end up doing is meet up sometimes for food or go to the cinema, even though I have no intentions but to be closer friends, yet she keeps driving away with this 'no' attitude.

    I don't know what to do, I want to be friends with her, I want to progress our friendship somehow, we are both single, she has never had a boyfriend, virgin, and has never had a crush on anyone + went to an all girls school, so to me it feels like just because I am a guy that she is keeping us at a stalemate?? It makes me feel anxious to ask her to do anything at all and feel like I'm being constantly judged sometimes.

    We really do hit it off together though, we can talk for hours, have the same interests and have even talked about a holiday together next year, but after last night after our little argument which was basically about me trying to be too close by getting a little physical, i.e holding her hand when walking and dancing with her even though I had no intentions but to have fun together, though I don't know if that's why she was truly mad for, or an excuse for something bigger, it seemed like she doesn't want me to have any part of her life anymore.

    I know I'm rambling a bit, but I am just trying to collect my thoughts more than anything and have never been in a fight with friends before. I know we can make up, but it would take some opening up, and I am planning on telling her about how we have been at a long stalemate as friends for ages and how boring it is that she has this barrier. Maybe it's a good thing we fought and can finally be closer because of this and can open up to how we feel about the current state of our friendship. I think that is all I have to say about everything. I need some advice.

    Should I organise to meet her ASAP or wait?

    Would it be better by text, call or in person?

    Is it possible to even get closer with her with the attitude she carries?

    Or...

    Should I stop pursuing anything more than just being typical normal friends?

    Just Give up, block contact and never speak with her again?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey TSR,

    So last night I went out with some friends back home over Easter holidays. I have 1 friend whom I study at uni in the same city who has also come home for Easter. I've known her for 2 years now.

    We ended the night with our first argument, and I don't know how to react now, I tried talking to her on the taxi home but she didn't want to talk.

    I love her as a friend, we know so much about each other, and I don't want to lose her as a friend and she would feel the same, but our friendship has been at a stalemate forever now, I did like her at one point and have exclaimed that I did like her but was turned down, this was 6 months ago, and maybe there's still some part of me that wants to be with her, but I just want a platonic relationship.

    The reason our friendship is at a stalemate, she doesn't want to do anything together and is a very 'no' character. I want to invite her to sleepover, movie nights, cuddle, open up to each other more, we live 5 minutes away from each other and her roommates don't speak to her. But she is always wierded out with idea of hanging out, so all we end up doing is meet up sometimes for food or go to the cinema, even though I have no intentions but to be closer friends, yet she keeps driving away with this 'no' attitude.

    I don't know what to do, I want to be friends with her, I want to progress our friendship somehow, we are both single, she has never had a boyfriend, virgin, and has never had a crush on anyone + went to an all girls school, so to me it feels like just because I am a guy that she is keeping us at a stalemate?? It makes me feel anxious to ask her to do anything at all and feel like I'm being constantly judged sometimes.

    We really do hit it off together though, we can talk for hours, have the same interests and have even talked about a holiday together next year, but after last night after our little argument which was basically about me trying to be too close by getting a little physical, i.e holding her hand when walking and dancing with her even though I had no intentions but to have fun together, though I don't know if that's why she was truly mad for, or an excuse for something bigger, it seemed like she doesn't want me to have any part of her life anymore.

    I know I'm rambling a bit, but I am just trying to collect my thoughts more than anything and have never been in a fight with friends before. I know we can make up, but it would take some opening up, and I am planning on telling her about how we have been at a long stalemate as friends for ages and how boring it is that she has this barrier. Maybe it's a good thing we fought and can finally be closer because of this and can open up to how we feel about the current state of our friendship. I think that is all I have to say about everything. I need some advice.

    Should I organise to meet her ASAP or wait?

    Would it be better by text, call or in person?

    Is it possible to even get closer with her with the attitude she carries?

    Or...

    Should I stop pursuing anything more than just being typical normal friends?

    Just Give up, block contact and never speak with her again?
    Give her some space for a couple of days and stop perusing more than friendship i think.
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    I'm in the same situation as you (I've known the girl for 2 years, one of my best friends today but I have/had feelings for her and was rejected, invites me all the time to do stuff with other people but whenever I invite her to do something just the two of us she says no). The only difference is that we have arguments very often because of my feelings for her and because she is a kind girl but she has a temper.

    Anyway, I'm kinda used to it with her but as it's the first time for you it's hard to say what to do. But yeah, I agree, I would wait a few days and then see her if you can or give a call or send her a text. They're all fine.

    Try to talk to her about those issues if they're really bothering you (and I'm sure they are).
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    Thanks for the response and advice.

    It just feels like nothing has progressed in terms of friendship at all with us.

    I have tried to apologise sincerely to her today with no response, and all this time I'm waiting, hurts, my heart is pounding. I feel bad, I feel like I'm going to lose a friend for the first time.

    I guess the ball is in her court now and I'm on the losing team. I've said my piece, so now I just have to keep myself busy and try not to think about her.
 
 
 
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