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Am I essentially a loser for not having a girlfriend?

Hey everyone,

I'm a 16 year old boy and i go to a boys only grammar school. The worst thing about an all-boys school is obviously, its all-boys. This has left me pretty much isolated from most female contact except for a couple of girls who have been my friends since i was about 3 who i dont even see that often. So now, my problem is that i would love to have a girlfriend but at my school thats really hard as you can't exactly just ask someone out coz u dont see them every day and also due to me being pretty overweight, (i'm losing the weight over study leave and the hols) i have no self-confidence at the moment.

So my question is this, do you percieve me as below the normal for my age or would say, having a girlfriend in university be acceptable. Thanks and bye.

Reply 1

Talya

16

You are not a loser :smile:

I know people at uni who have just got their first partner so don't panic!

Reply 2

HistoryStudent

13

You're not a loser for not having a girlfriend - you're only 16, loads of people don't have girlfriends/boyfriends at that age! It's surprisingly common not to get a girl/boyfriend until you're at university. Plus if you go to an all-boys school, then you have even more of a reason atm. You're perfectly normal!

Reply 3

guitargirl03

13

I don't think there's any age at which you should have had your first boyfriend/girlfriend.

I mean, I'm in my first 'proper' relationship and I'm 19. I think it's better not to rush into anything because I'm sure you'll find someone in time!

Reply 4

generalebriety

16

MOLEYMOO

Hey everyone,

I'm a 16 year old boy and i go to a boys only grammar school. The worst thing about an all-boys school is obviously, its all-boys. This has left me pretty much isolated from most female contact except for a couple of girls who have been my friends since i was about 3 who i dont even see that often. So now, my problem is that i would love to have a girlfriend but at my school thats really hard as you can't exactly just ask someone out coz u dont see them every day and also due to me being pretty overweight, (i'm losing the weight over study leave and the hols) i have no self-confidence at the moment.

So my question is this, do you percieve me as below the normal for my age or would say, having a girlfriend in university be acceptable. Thanks and bye.

It really is all up to you. If you consider yourself a loser for not having a girlfriend (and it wouldn't be a trick question whether I asked you if you did; there are people who genuinely would, and people who genuinely wouldn't), then you are one; if you don't, then you're not. **** other people, it's what you think that matters.

Reply 5

Mubsy

You're only 16 you're just a baby for god's sake. Don't try to grow up too fast.

Reply 6

CapenCyber

I was at an all boys school and never had a girlfriend for the whole time there. I'd say that was the same for most pupils there.

Reply 7

heppelstone16

British Bulldog

You're only 16 you're just a baby for god's sake. Don't try to grow up too fast.

Exactly, and enjoy the single life, dont get tied down too early. lol

Reply 8

poohoop999

All that matters is how you see yourself

Reply 9

Benny_b

8

Seriously mate, it doesnt matter in the slightest, 99% of ppl suffer from a lack of self confidence at some piont in their life. Many many people dont have a girlfriend for aages as well for loads of reasons, it doesnt necersarily mean your unnattractive to women. You say you're overweight; go out and exercise:
1. you'll lose weight
2. by losing weight you'll feel gd about yourself, healthy body = healthy mind :smile:

But on an important note, dont think that overweight ppl can't get girlfriends, weight doesnt have all that much to do with it. Its quite the clichey, but its whats on the inside that counts. Id much rather know and/or go out with the nicest person in the world, and the most attractive. Just my 2 cents!

Reply 10

smellielli

1

I have 19 and 20 year old friends who haven't even considered having a partner. Don't worry. I'd be more worried if you had no interest in other people.

Reply 11

matt@internet

12

I know people at uni who have never had a g/f i.e. me, and I ain't a loser. Or maybe I am and I just don't know it :eek:

.

Reply 12

Jelkin

17

I'm my boyfriend's first girlfriend and we started going out when he was nearly 20 and I think he's the best thing since sliced bread :smile:

You're not abnormal at all, there are so many people at uni who have never had partners before!

Reply 13

Unregistered

Essentially.

Reply 14

ßlαcksωαn

17

You sound desperate buddy. Seriously stop worrying about it. Stop thinking you must get a gf before the year is out. Just relax, its no big deal.

Reply 15

Joric

That is no definition of a loser. relax. You will get a g/f at the right time.

Reply 16

britishseapower

14

I was 16 when I had my first girlfriend, some people just take longer than others

Reply 17

Lara C.

3

your only in like year 11! your still just a little boy :P

Reply 18

TopSortedMadForIt

7

Well if you want a gf and don't have one....thats a bit loserish....but I wouldn't say you were a LOSER....particularly cos you're only 16. Gooc luck with losing the weight btw: kudos for taking steps to change.

I couldn't have got a g/f if my life had depended on it when I was 16....but have no problem now....about getting a gf when you're at uni: there's a choice you can make when you get to your late teens and through your 20s: relationship kinda guy who inevitably ends up frustrated and hurt, which is about 95% of the guys out there, or non-relationship guy who has a lotta fun, doesn't take the whole dating thing too seriously and has options most of the time. I would say this though: get laid as quick as you can: the longer it takes the more difficult it becomes.

End of the day its your choice. But to give you a simple answer, no it isn't abnormal for a lad of your age.

Reply 19

Yellowmarshmellow

You're not a loser for not having a gf, having a gf/bf doesn't define whether you're 'cool' or not, plus you're very young.. some of my friends are 18 and haven't gone out with anyone yet. Also, you don't need to be thin to be confident and get a gf etc, if you have a great personality and at least act confident you'll be attractive.

Am I essentially a loser for not having a girlfriend?

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