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Online dating advice needed! Short version watch

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    Much shorter version of my original post.
    I met a guy online he made it clear he only wants casual sex, once he found out I was virgin he was a little hesitant about meeting and everything as he didn't want to hurt as in me developing feelings. I told him was ok with it.. The photos he's seen of me he likes but I took them in such a way that it hides certain parts of me. Basically I'm 2/3 stone over weight, double chin, and what I'm most self conscious about is my granny boobs. They're big, horrible shape and they sag. He's pretty much the opposite, he's sporty so in very good shape. I want to meet him but my looks are stopping me. Everything has been put on hold as he thinks I'm not ready and he doesn't want to hurt me in any way. So confused about it all please help!
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    He should know online dating can vary with results and seeing as he's online I don't think he would mine.
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    everyone tries to show their best self online, you'll probably notice something about him that's different to what you've seen so far, I wouldn't worry too much. If you do meet him make sure it's in a public place and don't let him drive you anywhere etc..
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    I doubt you look as bad as you think you do. You're probably just self-conscious. Just do whatever you want to do, but try to have some confidence it always helps to have it after all.
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    (Original post by newttella)
    I doubt you look as bad as you think you do. You're probably just self-conscious. Just do whatever you want to do, but try to have some confidence it always helps to have it after all.
    I know what you mean. Probably think I'm overreacting. But I honestly think I look hideous dressed or undressed and against him I'd look even worse. I'm wondering if I should tell him that I don't exactly have the best body. Just to 'prepare' him. But I don't know how to go about this.
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    (Original post by gingerbreadwoman)
    Much shorter version of my original post.
    I met a guy online he made it clear he only wants casual sex, once he found out I was virgin he was a little hesitant about meeting and everything as he didn't want to hurt as in me developing feelings. I told him was ok with it.. The photos he's seen of me he likes but I took them in such a way that it hides certain parts of me. Basically I'm 2/3 stone over weight, double chin, and what I'm most self conscious about is my granny boobs. They're big, horrible shape and they sag. He's pretty much the opposite, he's sporty so in very good shape. I want to meet him but my looks are stopping me. Everything has been put on hold as he thinks I'm not ready and he doesn't want to hurt me in any way. So confused about it all please help!
    I don't think this guy is worth meeting if just wants to hook up, sounds like a shallow guy. Why don't you send him a pic thats a realistic representaion of you and you will be able to see how he would respond if he saw you in person. Honestly this guy doesn't sound like he's worth your time.
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    (Original post by Shiv Hates Life)
    I don't think this guy is worth meeting if just wants to hook up, sounds like a shallow guy. Why don't you send him a pic thats a realistic representaion of you and you will be able to see how he would respond if he saw you in person. Honestly this guy doesn't sound like he's worth your time.
    why is this slut shaming of men acceptable ? if he just wants to hook up that is his right and its good that he told her in advance.
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    (Original post by Tabstercat)
    why is this slut shaming of men acceptable ? if he just wants to hook up that is his right and its good that he told her in advance.
    Lol wth, all sluts are terrible im not shaming him just cause hes a guy, im a guy myself. I was just saying someone who's just looking for sex isn't worth meeting, Why do the PC brigade always have to get me lol
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    (Original post by Shiv Hates Life)
    Lol wth, all sluts are terrible im not shaming him just cause hes a guy, im a guy myself. I was just saying someone who's just looking for sex isn't worth meeting, Why do the PC brigade always have to get me lol
    surely if they're both just looking for sex whats the problem. it's a mutually beneficial situation.
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    (Original post by Tabstercat)
    surely if they're both just looking for sex whats the problem. it's a mutually beneficial situation.
    lol fine let them **** i guess
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    (Original post by Shiv Hates Life)
    lol fine let them **** i guess
    cheers pal xx
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    Honestly, the best thing to do would be to post a full-length body picture - so that he can decide whether he's interested or not. And if he is, then you can stop worrying about it and relax. If not, it's better to find out early on.

    It's all well and good posting flattering photos of yourself, everyone does. However if you're giving a deceptive image of yourself then you're only going to make the first date awkward - even if the weight wouldn't be a problem, the deception looks bad - and is frankly quite rude.
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    Tbh since he's just looking for sex he probably wont care that much. Thing is, you cant blame someone for turning you down in person if you've been basically 'lying' to them online.
    If i were you I'd send him a full body pic. Also, you sound really insecure about your body and I'm sure you look lovely really, but if you are insecure getting into a thing with someone just for sex may make you feel real bad about yourself, so be careful.
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    (Original post by antipathy)
    Honestly, the best thing to do would be to post a full-length body picture - so that he can decide whether he's interested or not. And if he is, then you can stop worrying about it and relax. If not, it's better to find out early on.

    It's all well and good posting flattering photos of yourself, everyone does. However if you're giving a deceptive image of yourself then you're only going to make the first date awkward - even if the weight wouldn't be a problem, the deception looks bad - and is frankly quite rude.
    When he asked for a full body picture I did send him one. But it probably didn't show off too much. Well he even said himself, he couldn't see much because of the baggy clothing I had on at the time. But never asked for another one. Do you think telling him, that actually I don't have the best body would be a good idea? I'm just not sure how to go about it..
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    (Original post by gingerbreadwoman)
    I know what you mean. Probably think I'm overreacting. But I honestly think I look hideous dressed or undressed and against him I'd look even worse. I'm wondering if I should tell him that I don't exactly have the best body. Just to 'prepare' him. But I don't know how to go about this.
    Just be honest and tell him if you're so worried about it. There's no point panicking over something that could easily be resolved with perhaps sending a picture of yourself or telling him that you're overweight or something like that if you really feel that he would be bothered by these things.
 
 
 
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