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Girl being a slag

There's this guy I like, knew him when we were younger but started at the same school as him a couple of years ago. He never really talks to me or anything, but sometimes is nice to me.

Anyway, it was our leavers' do, so we were all dolled up, and he came over to me, said I looked beautiful and gave me a kiss on the cheek - he was still fairly sober at the time, so I was pretty pleased! However, near the end of the night, I saw him messing around with my friend (who has a boyfriend) and I've now found out they snogged and quite possibly slept together. I was sickened enough by this 'friend' on the night anyway as she was being way too intimate with another guy in our year (as in, if her boyfriend was there, he would have punched this guy) but now I feel even more sickened by her... and I can't believe he'd go with her, yes I know he's a bit of a cad but he can do so much better than her. I've had feelings for him for so long and I feel incredibly hurt he would have gone with her. It doesn't help that this girl's always been a bit of a 'frenemy,' someone I've secretly disliked quite a lot of the time (I know that makes me sound awful but I'm sure some of you know the kind of people I mean).

I just feel really crappy about it, I like him so much and he gave me a sign he liked me too by coming up to me earlier and then he went and did that, with HER of all people. Plus there's the problem of her boyfriend, who is a lovely guy who I get on with well. I can't exactly go up to him and tell him, but if he asks what she was like (everyone at school tends to tell their bfs/gfs in explicit terms not to cheat when there's things like these, like they shouldn't know not to already!), what do I say??? He deserves to know his girlfriend is a cheating slag. I don't know what to say to her either...I actually don't think I can look her in the eye anymore. It's not just that she went with someone I really like (though that's a big part of it), it's that she cheated on a great guy who worships the ground she walks on, and I just don't think I want to be friends with someone who'd do that.

I just dunno what to do...do I just ignore her or tell her what I think of her??? I will see her again, for exams and when we have to go into school for certain things, and we normally talk on MSN. What to do?!

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Reply 1

WokSz

As immoral as this will sound, ignore her. It's not really your problem and I think that by doing this you'll end yourself in a muddle. I would forget this guy too as he obviously is looking for other things than you.

Reply 2

Rei

beat me to it bEEt, yeah im sorry to hear it abc, u deserve better! : )

Reply 3

Tyler Durden

They are two separate issues. Don't confuse them by telling her boyfriend out of spite. In fact, don't tell her boyfriend; it's not your issue and it will look as though you are acting out of jealousy (no matter what your motivations).

As for this other guy... if you're still interested, why not try to give him some signs you like him? I expect he likes you but maybe doesn't get the impression you feel the same way. Flirt with him, go out of your way to see him, etc.

Reply 4

chewitt_hemel

Hate to be blunt but i really wouldn't read too much into a leavers do compliment, i'm pretty sure he did the same to several other girls.

Reply 5

Tyler Durden

chewitt_hemel

Hate to be blunt but i really wouldn't read too much into a leavers do compliment, i'm pretty sure he did the same to several other girls.

True actually. Having said that... positive thinking! :wink:

Reply 6

Unregistered

It's nothing personal, but there are few men who can resist sex, when it's offered to them on a plate, the vast majority would take it.

Reply 7

matthew.swallow

Timeslikethese

It's nothing personal, but there are few men who can resist sex, when it's offered to them on a plate, the vast majority would take it.

I think that is a bit unfair. I personally wouldn't sleep with someone who had a boyfriend.

To OP- if you were in the guys situation would you want to be told? I would personally tell the girl that if she dosen't tell him you will. Although to be honest the number of people that must have seen em kiss etc, I would be suprised if it didn't get back to him through some one else anyway.

Reply 8

britishseapower

matthew.swallow

To OP- if you were in the guys situation would you want to be told? I would personally tell the girl that if she dosen't tell him you will.

bit of a hard one that, I would want to know myself if a partner was cheating but I don't think the OP should take that course of action. Will just cause trouble between her and this girl, as you also said though, there was alot of people there so it is bound to filter through to him.

Reply 9

decky1989

go with the boy she went with that will really annoy her because she cant say/do anything about it as she is in a relationship. i would say he really likes you if he kissed you and said you were beautiful when he was sober and he just went with your frenemy because he was drunk. i assume that because he prob knew your frenemy had a bf but was just 2 drunk 2 actually care.

Reply 10

username47781

Timeslikethese

It's nothing personal, but there are few men who can resist sex, when it's offered to them on a plate, the vast majority would take it.

Not while I have a girlfriend I wouldn't. Unlike some guys I can actually say no.

To the OP, it is not your problem, if the guy wants to fool round with this girl it's his loss. Clearly the girl has issues.

Reply 11

abc101

Thanks for your replies guys. I guess it would make me seem spiteful if I told her boyfriend, but I'd just feel awful letting him carry on thinking everything was great when she's been such a skanky bitch, he doesn't deserve to be made a fool of, it's not fair on him. I guess I do have my own motives though...the girl has always been a bit of an unpleasant person yet she always comes up smelling of roses, I want her to suffer for being such a whore! I know that sounds harsh, but it's just how it is.

The whole thing's just making me feel really down, it's ruined the night, I know it's pathetic but it's just really a nasty situation. Will probably just talk to a mate about it, coz word will probably get back to her boyfriend from other people anyway.

Reply 12

rosetinted

Absolutely do not tell her boyfriend. It would just be spiteful and revenge for her sleeping with the guy you like. Obviously if he hears something and asks you then you have to make the decision what to tell him, but independently going and telling him is a bad idea. It's best to let them sort out their own business.

I don't understand when people post about 'friends' who they pretty much hate. Why be friends with them if you don't like them? Just stop hanging around with her and then you won't be witness to her annoying behaviour. Also I must say you have no claim over this guy just because you fancy him. I've been in the situation myself and although it is really enfuriating, you have to remember that he has no idea you like him (by the sound of it) and your 'friend' doesn't know either. So although you feel hurt by what happened, it wasn't done to hurt you. Maybe you should pursue him a bit rather than waiting for it to happen!

Reply 13

abc101

I didn't exactly choose to be friends with her. She's very clingy and needy, and I find it hard to say no to people, so I've just had to get used to her annoying behaviour and grit my teeth. Occasionally she's bearable, and recently we'd been getting on better. This is just unacceptable though, she's always going on about how she feels about her boyfriend yet she thinks it's fine to go and do this and be a complete slut.

I never said I had a claim on him, but we go back years and years and she knows that, she barely even knows him.

Reply 14

username47781

Well I would learn to say no to her, you can't be friends with someone mean like that.

Reply 15

username115564

I wouldn't advise you to get directly involved by telling the bloke in question - he'll learn an important lesson sooner or later, these things always come out.

As for telling this girl what you think of her, it's difficult. Your personal relationship with this girl isn't self-contained - i'm assuming you have mutual friends, and similar social circles within school? Some girls will always, always have a poisenous attraction to male attention, irrespective of whether or not they're in a relationship. Rest assured these people often end up losing partners, trust and respect before they eventually change their ways. This is likely to happen with time, and should'nt require your intervention which could potentially disrupt other friendships.

Reply 16

abc101

Poop on her own doorstep, I like it lol! Yeah guess will just have to try to avoid talking to her boyfriend, glad it's half-term as there's no way I could stomach seeing those two together right now, poor guy. She is known for being pretty easy, guess an easy slapper is more attractive when you're drunk than a respectable girl when you're sober! I would have looked like a hussy, in my opinion, if I reacted in any other way than I did (just kissed him back), so, actually, I guess I'd rather have my morals and not really get anywhere than be loose.

How would you propose to cut her out? Ignore her on MSN, don't text back, give her the cold shoulder at school etc? Or just not be as friendly? Whenever I've got a problem with somebody it's one of the things I find hard to do, I tend to just silently bear a grudge because I don't have the courage to actually tell them to get lost. I tend to end up feeling guilty for trying to cut people out even when they've done something to deserve it! I'm a bit weak like that. :s

Reply 17

username47781

Block her, delete her number and just ignore her in public.

Reply 18

Profesh

abc101

Anyway, it was our leavers' do, so we were all dolled up, and he came over to me, said I looked beautiful and gave me a kiss on the cheek - he was still fairly sober at the time, so I was pretty pleased! However, near the end of the night, I saw him messing around with my friend (who has a boyfriend) and I've now found out they snogged and quite possibly slept together. I was sickened enough by this 'friend' on the night anyway as she was being way too intimate with another guy in our year (as in, if her boyfriend was there, he would have punched this guy) but now I feel even more sickened by her... and I can't believe he'd go with her, yes I know he's a bit of a cad but he can do so much better than her. I've had feelings for him for so long and I feel incredibly hurt he would have gone with her. It doesn't help that this girl's always been a bit of a 'frenemy,' someone I've secretly disliked quite a lot of the time (I know that makes me sound awful but I'm sure some of you know the kind of people I mean).