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Why does he keep turning me down when I know he fancies me? Watch

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    I've always had bad experiences with men so I never tried to get into relationships so I've been having casual with quite few men, mainly happened in university when I had my own place in halls so it was easier to take men back. I had good sex with some of them but none really wanted to do anything more than that.

    In my third year of uni I moved into new halls, there I met a extremely handsome man, he would attract loads of girls, I would walk in our shared living room and he would be with a girl. He was extremely polite and nice to girls so I felt attracted to him straight away. I never never had the courage to ask if he wanted to with me so I would purposely get drunk so I could, he said no because he was I was living with him.

    Over that year I got to know him very well, it was so easy to talk to him and we became very open with each other so soon enough we became best of friends. I told him about my past about the men I slept and he was very understanding about it, he told not to use myself and gave me good advice. I was blown away how nice he was, never met a man so caring. When I went out with him, he asked me to help find a nice girl when he surrounded by girls. I don't think he ever realised it and was actually shyer and less,confident then i thought he was. Quite often I would drink too much and he would take me back to our halls flat, let me sleep on his bed with him. I was so desperate for him to make a move on me but never did, when i close to him I could feel he did like me but would face the othe way. He often told me he loved my body and would often say he loves my bum so i sensed he did was hiding his feelings towards me so i don't get why he didn't. I don't know its because he knows about the men I've slept with in the past.

    Towards the end of the year before we both graduated I asked him if wanted to be more than friends, he said that he doesn't want a relationship based on looks but we don't have go out, he said he doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I just really like his company, since uni finished I haven't seen much of him and I don't know how to tell him. I've met other men and gone on dates but not really in to them. What am I doing wrong? Why is he saying no if we both fancy each other? What can I do to show i truely do care about him and love him?
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    It doesn't really sound like he fancies you to be honest. It actually sounds like he wants to be your friend believe it or not. I'm pretty certain he would have made a move on you whilst you were laying in his bed, it would have been the perfect opportunity.
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    Your assumption that he fancies you is very odd, and based on faulty logic.

    The truth is most guys won't play stupid mind games like that, if they're genuinely interested in someone they'll go for it. He would gain absolutely nothing from 'pretending' like he doesn't like you or hiding his feelings like you seem to think. Just because he complimented your bum doesn't mean he's in love with you or something. Heck, I do my fair share of ass praising every now and again, no harm in recognizing a nice ass. Doesn't necessarily mean I'm attracted to the owner of the glorious buttocks.
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    Well maybe he doesn't fancy you as the above users note.

    Or maybe he just is extremely shy. He was in bed with you, complimented you physically and you didn't make a move??? Comeon girl, just go for it lol :P Jesus, if you want a nice guy to romance with and you find this super nice, slightly shy, very attractive guy and get in bed with him and he compliments you physically. Make a ****ing move xD

    Like did y'all not even cuddle one another or anything?
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well maybe he doesn't fancy you as the above users note.

    Or maybe he just is extremely shy. He was in bed with you, complimented you physically and you didn't make a move??? Comeon girl, just go for it lol :P Jesus, if you want a nice guy to romance with and you find this super nice, slightly shy, very attractive guy and get in bed with him and he compliments you physically. Make a ****ing move xD

    Like did y'all not even cuddle one another or anything?
    No not in bed but he has hugged me plenty times before. Near when I first met him he turned me down and another towards the end of the year but don't know if it's worth asking if we're no longer living together. I'm not use to asking men, I like it when they ask me.
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    Honestly from what you've said it really doesnt sound like he fancies you... Sorry
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    No guy wants to be in the dreaded friendzone with a girl they like. Any guy would jump at the chance to escape it ASAP, if you've made a move twice and he's rejected you. He isn't that into you, it's not the end of the world, more fish in the sea!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've always had bad experiences with men so I never tried to get into relationships so I've been having casual with quite few men, mainly happened in university when I had my own place in halls so it was easier to take men back. I had good sex with some of them but none really wanted to do anything more than that.

    In my third year of uni I moved into new halls, there I met a extremely handsome man, he would attract loads of girls, I would walk in our shared living room and he would be with a girl. He was extremely polite and nice to girls so I felt attracted to him straight away. I never never had the courage to ask if he wanted to with me so I would purposely get drunk so I could, he said no because he was I was living with him.

    Over that year I got to know him very well, it was so easy to talk to him and we became very open with each other so soon enough we became best of friends. I told him about my past about the men I slept and he was very understanding about it, he told not to use myself and gave me good advice. I was blown away how nice he was, never met a man so caring. When I went out with him, he asked me to help find a nice girl when he surrounded by girls. I don't think he ever realised it and was actually shyer and less,confident then i thought he was. Quite often I would drink too much and he would take me back to our halls flat, let me sleep on his bed with him. I was so desperate for him to make a move on me but never did, when i close to him I could feel he did like me but would face the othe way. He often told me he loved my body and would often say he loves my bum so i sensed he did was hiding his feelings towards me so i don't get why he didn't. I don't know its because he knows about the men I've slept with in the past.

    Towards the end of the year before we both graduated I asked him if wanted to be more than friends, he said that he doesn't want a relationship based on looks but we don't have go out, he said he doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I just really like his company, since uni finished I haven't seen much of him and I don't know how to tell him. I've met other men and gone on dates but not really in to them. What am I doing wrong? Why is he saying no if we both fancy each other? What can I do to show i truely do care about him and love him?
    He was letting you down gently and like everyone else said he would have made his move earlier.
    If he said he loved your body maybe he wanted to make you feel good about yourself. The only thing to do is express your true feelings to him and if he still says he would rather be friends then you should move on.
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    No guy wants to be in the dreaded friendzone with a girl they like. Any guy would jump at the chance to escape it ASAP, if you've made a move twice and he's rejected you. He isn't that into you, it's not the end of the world, more fish in the sea!
    Loads of sharks, piranha and other nasties too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No not in bed but he has hugged me plenty times before. Near when I first met him he turned me down and another towards the end of the year but don't know if it's worth asking if we're no longer living together. I'm not use to asking men, I like it when they ask me.
    Aww, you like it when you do nothing and the guy chases you?

    That might explain why you aren't getting anyone.
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    It doesn't really sound like he fancies you to be honest. It actually sounds like he wants to be your friend believe it or not. I'm pretty certain he would have made a move on you whilst you were laying in his bed, it would have been the perfect opportunity.
    Except that she was in the bed and she was drunk wheras he may well have been sober. Many men will not make that kind of move.


    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Towards the end of the year before we both graduated I asked him if wanted to be more than friends, he said that he doesn't want a relationship based on looks but we don't have go out, he said he doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I just really like his company, since uni finished I haven't seen much of him and I don't know how to tell him. I've met other men and gone on dates but not really in to them. What am I doing wrong? Why is he saying no if we both fancy each other? What can I do to show i truely do care about him and love him?
    This is the part i dont get. Based on looks?????, youve been very good friends for a year now.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No not in bed but he has hugged me plenty times before. Near when I first met him he turned me down and another towards the end of the year but don't know if it's worth asking if we're no longer living together. I'm not use to asking men, I like it when they ask me.
    well if hes that shy he wont ask. So all you can do is sit in limbo and wonder what might have been.

    Just ask him. But bear in mind he has said no before. He may very well not like you that way
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Except that she was in the bed and she was drunk wheras he may well have been sober. Many men will not make that kind of move.




    This is the part i dont get. Based on looks?????, youve been very good friends for a year now.



    well if hes that shy he wont ask. So all you can do is sit in limbo and wonder what might have been.

    Just ask him. But bear in mind he has said no before. He may very well not like you that way

    Either way if we were to ignore that part, this guy doesn't seem interested in anything more than friendship with this girl.
 
 
 
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