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Guy trouble lol (long read -ish) watch

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    Hiya,
    This may sound so stupid but I just needed to let put this down in writing somewhere.

    Myself and this guy spoke for about 6/7 months, but our conversations weren't the average 'hi, bye' convos, it was more deep, intimate what have you, like I could feel a real connection - I just felt comfortable talking to him and he was like the best friend I never had. We could talk about anything and everything.. (We live in the same city, but in different areas of the city)

    A few weeks before we parted ways, the conversations we had weren't as 'fiery' as they were before - like you know when the conversation just feels forced and you want them to just talk to you like normal but don't want to seem clingy or annoying.

    So one day, he messages me and says that he has to stop talking to me (for reasons that I won't go into) and he wishes me all the best in life etc..

    A few days later he changed his number

    I don't even know how to feel - we weren't girlfriend/boyfriend per se, but I had hopes that our friendship would 'blossom' into something further - I just feel somewhat heartbroken that I 'lost' someone that I got on well with and who made an impact in my life (despite the short time we spoke for)

    It's just weird knowing all these little things about someone and then you stop talking, then now it's like you have all this leftover information about them

    Everything just reminds me of him - and then I just wish that I could turn time back to when we first met

    Is it even normal to feel like this? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

    To get to the point, it's been 2, nearly 3 months since we stopped talking, but I still haven't gotten over him - part of me wants to email him or something along the lines, just find out how he is generally - just talk to him - lay all my cards on the table

    But the other part of me is somewhat scared of how he may react - I'm scared that if I email him or something, he may just tell me to stay away and not contact him again or change his email or whatever - which will just hurt me even more

    But if I don't email, I just have that lingering feeling there's so much that was left unsaid between us

    What is worse? The pain of rejection or the pain of having words left unsaid?

    I don't even know

    Then there's another part of me that thinks - if you love something, let it go - if it's yours, it will come back - if it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be
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    Well to be honest i completely understand how you feel I've been in a few simular situations, in my experience I've always caved and gone back to them even unintentionally and I've always ended up worse each time it's like you have to go cold turkey, it's hard but eventually you just learn to live without it, but the temptation is always their. If i where in your situation I would probably follow up. But from an outsiders and heinsight point of view I'd advise let it go, everything happens for a reason, we learn and grow.
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    Ues I know but for whatever reason (the bit you mssed out) he's not ready for you or doesnt wnat to proceed. If you have his etails keep them and let him get on with things. Say hi in a year if you have to when you have more to talk about and bioh had some space.

    If you have loads unsaid write it down in a letter and put it in a box ready for next time (don send it).
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Ues I know but for whatever reason (the bit you mssed out) he's not ready for you or doesnt wnat to proceed. If you have his etails keep them and let him get on with things. Say hi in a year if you have to when you have more to talk about and bioh had some space.

    If you have loads unsaid write it down in a letter and put it in a box ready for next time (don send it).
    Thank you for your reply - that's what I was thinking - to just leave it for a year or so and then try to get in contact and see how things go from there

    I've been writing my thoughts and feelings down in a small notebook - it somewhat helps lol - but there are some stuff that just can't be expressed in writing - or is that just me lol?
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    (Original post by jasmin1507)
    Well to be honest i completely understand how you feel I've been in a few simular situations, in my experience I've always caved and gone back to them even unintentionally and I've always ended up worse each time it's like you have to go cold turkey, it's hard but eventually you just learn to live without it, but the temptation is always their. If i where in your situation I would probably follow up. But from an outsiders and heinsight point of view I'd advise let it go, everything happens for a reason, we learn and grow.
    Thank you for replying - as per the previous reply I posted, I'm planning to let there be space between us for about a year or so - and then following up and see how things proceed
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    I don't know if this is with everyone but this has happened to me but instead of being in your position I was in the guys position. I end up talking to a girl for a while and it's all going great, after a few months of chatting and really good conversations I get scared of the girl becoming clingy or wanting something serious so I back away and leave. its so annoying but it does happen. I'm not saying this is why he stopped talking to you but there is a chance it could be the reason...


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    You have to be careful you dont overthink it, otherwise you build it up into even more when he probably isnt thinking about it at all. Be patient you might meet someone else. Your best bet is to get on with your life. he knows where you are.
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    Is it even normal to feel like this? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

    - Yeah, absolutely. You've gotten used to having that relationship and that attention, so when it's suddenly removed you do get withdrawals and it's hard to adapt to not having that anymore.

    What is worse? The pain of rejection or the pain of having words left unsaid?

    - To be honest, if you're asking what we think you should do, we can't really comment because we don't know the situation. You'd need to give his reasons for dropping contact. If you can't do that then it's just what you feel would be best.
 
 
 
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