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    I met up with a guy yesterday who invited me to a cafe for brunch. I met him on Tinder after adding the app for fun but no intention of hooking up or even meeting anyone. However this guy seemed cool so I agreed to meet him and after our date I ve realised we are really similar and he has many unique qualities that I d like in a partner. However he did most of the talking and chatted about himself and his own interests and accomplishments without asking me much about myself.

    He asked to meet up again but this time he s invited me to his place for a movie. Although he said he s looking for someone to spend time and have fun with, I think that he wants me to come to his place for sex, which I don t want at this early stage. He was a bit suggestive during the date by making comments about my body shape and how much he likes intimacy but I thought he was just flirting at the time. I m also disappointed that he doesn t want to make an effort and take me somewhere nicer than just his house.

    I ended up telling him that he seems a bit self interested and that I d prefer to meet somewhere more exciting than his house, and now he s gone a bit quiet. He s such a good catch though and I really think we have the potential to get on relationship-wise. But now I feel like I ve blown things with him. I don t know whether to just forget him or perhaps I was overreacting and should try with him.

    Btw I'm 23 and he's 32
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    In other words he just wants sex. I've found that when guys are very vague about what they are after its because they are looking for sex. I wouldn't go to his house if I were you. The fact he has gone quiet and hasn't suggested an alternative location for the date leads me to believe he wanted to just hook up.

    How did you come to the conclusion that he is a good catch? You described him as being self-centered since he didn't ask about you.

    Either way it doesn't sound like a relationship is what he is after. You have to remember that there is alot of stigma behind tinder, but for the most part of its used for hook ups. It is always a good idea to establish what page the other person is before meeting up. I see quite a few red flags here, but ultimately it is up to you. Don't expect too much.
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    (Original post by jennaz77)
    I met up with a guy yesterday who invited me to a cafe for brunch. I met him on Tinder after adding the app for fun but no intention of hooking up or even meeting anyone. However this guy seemed cool so I agreed to meet him and after our date I ve realised we are really similar and he has many unique qualities that I d like in a partner. However he did most of the talking and chatted about himself and his own interests and accomplishments without asking me much about myself.

    He asked to meet up again but this time he s invited me to his place for a movie. Although he said he s looking for someone to spend time and have fun with, I think that he wants me to come to his place for sex, which I don t want at this early stage. He was a bit suggestive during the date by making comments about my body shape and how much he likes intimacy but I thought he was just flirting at the time. I m also disappointed that he doesn t want to make an effort and take me somewhere nicer than just his house.

    I ended up telling him that he seems a bit self interested and that I d prefer to meet somewhere more exciting than his house, and now he s gone a bit quiet. He s such a good catch though and I really think we have the potential to get on relationship-wise. But now I feel like I ve blown things with him. I don t know whether to just forget him or perhaps I was overreacting and should try with him.

    Btw I'm 23 and he's 32
    his room is his sacred area you should be really proud you got into there
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    In other words he just wants sex. I've found that when guys are very vague about what they are after its because they are looking for sex. I wouldn't go to his house if I were you. The fact he has gone quiet and hasn't suggested an alternative location for the date leads me to believe he wanted to just hook up.

    How did you come to the conclusion that he is a good catch? You described him as being self-centered since he didn't ask about you.

    Either way it doesn't sound like a relationship is what he is after. You have to remember that there is alot of stigma behind tinder, but for the most part of its used for hook ups. It is always a good idea to establish what page the other person is before meeting up. I see quite a few red flags here, but ultimately it is up to you. Don't expect too much.
    I appreciate you insight, looking back I do feel a bit naive, its just that I asked him a lot about what hes looking for and he kept saying a someone to spend time with away from work and didn't mention sex. He also said a short term relationship could possibly lead to something more but he's not particularly looking for anything serious. He did seem quite confused about what he wants to be honest, but he's 32 and I assumed he might be past the playing around stage.

    I think he's a good catch because we both seem to have a similar world view and he's really accomplished, intelligent, successful, has hobbies that I'm interested in. He just seems like an all round nice guy and we did have some interesting conversation. But as I said he went on and on about himself for most of the date and apart from asking me general questions about what I study and where I grew up and stuff, I feel like he could have made more effort to ask me what my actual interests are.
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    He's gone silent because either:
    - You hurt his little self esteem
    - He wants to bully you into it by withdrawing attention
    - He wants quick sex and has other people so can move on easily
    - He hasn't decided yet
    - He is thinking of planning a new place to meet
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    (Original post by jennaz77)
    I appreciate you insight, looking back I do feel a bit naive, its just that I asked him a lot about what hes looking for and he kept saying a someone to spend time with away from work and didn't mention sex. He also said a short term relationship could possibly lead to something more but he's not particularly looking for anything serious. He did seem quite confused about what he wants to be honest, but he's 32 and I assumed he might be past the playing around stage.

    I think he's a good catch because we both seem to have a similar world view and he's really accomplished, intelligent, successful, has hobbies that I'm interested in. He just seems like an all round nice guy and we did have some interesting conversation. But as I said he went on and on about himself for most of the date and apart from asking me general questions about what I study and where I grew up and stuff, I feel like he could have made more effort to ask me what my actual interests are.

    I hear you. I've been there, don't let the age fool you. Men in these age group want to have their no strings attached fun too. I met a guy thinking he was on the same page as me, turns out he wasn't and I really should have read between the lines. It was only after a couple of weeks I started to clock on when he decided to be more open about what he wanted. Up until then he wasn't really showing any obvious signs. It happens! Count yourself lucky, you followed your instincts. Now you can move on and find someone better suited
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    (Original post by jennaz77)
    I met up with a guy yesterday who invited me to a cafe for brunch. I met him on Tinder after adding the app for fun but no intention of hooking up or even meeting anyone. However this guy seemed cool so I agreed to meet him and after our date I ve realised we are really similar and he has many unique qualities that I d like in a partner. However he did most of the talking and chatted about himself and his own interests and accomplishments without asking me much about myself.

    He asked to meet up again but this time he s invited me to his place for a movie. Although he said he s looking for someone to spend time and have fun with, I think that he wants me to come to his place for sex, which I don t want at this early stage. He was a bit suggestive during the date by making comments about my body shape and how much he likes intimacy but I thought he was just flirting at the time. I m also disappointed that he doesn t want to make an effort and take me somewhere nicer than just his house.

    I ended up telling him that he seems a bit self interested and that I d prefer to meet somewhere more exciting than his house, and now he s gone a bit quiet. He s such a good catch though and I really think we have the potential to get on relationship-wise. But now I feel like I ve blown things with him. I don t know whether to just forget him or perhaps I was overreacting and should try with him.

    Btw I'm 23 and he's 32
    Follow your instincts. He's sounds highly dodgy to me.Get rid and search out someone more respectful and closer to your age.
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    he basically asked you to netflix and chill where's the confusion
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    He wants the old, in out, in out
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    I hear you. I've been there, don't let the age fool you. Men in these age group want to have their no strings attached fun too. I met a guy thinking he was on the same page as me, turns out he wasn't and I really should have read between the lines. It was only after a couple of weeks I started to clock on when he decided to be more open about what he wanted. Up until then he wasn't really showing any obvious signs. It happens! Count yourself lucky, you followed your instincts. Now you can move on and find someone better suited
    Do you think I should go ask him? I'm thinking of just straight up messaging him to ask if its ultimately just sex that he's looking for, just to know for sure.
 
 
 
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