The Student Room Group

how many "dates" should you have before you start just spending time together?

ok so i'm kind of inexperienced in relationships, never really had a serious relationship. However, i've been seeing a girl for about a month and we've had 4 dates. We've slept together and I think we both really like each other.

I'm just looking for some guidance on what comes next? How many more "official" dates before we can just spend time with each other without any kind of serious planning? The past two dates have been at each others' flats but I don't want to suggest we do that again since it might seem boring.
There is no official rule book. You should do it when the time feels right. Vague, i know, but such is life.

Each relationship is different.
Original post by Anonymous
ok so i'm kind of inexperienced in relationships, never really had a serious relationship. However, i've been seeing a girl for about a month and we've had 4 dates. We've slept together and I think we both really like each other.

I'm just looking for some guidance on what comes next? How many more "official" dates before we can just spend time with each other without any kind of serious planning? The past two dates have been at each others' flats but I don't want to suggest we do that again since it might seem boring.


is there really a set number of dates one should have before settling for one partner? no everyone's different
so take things at your own pace and have as many dates as you need
The number of dates it will take for you to feel comfortable enough with each other to not need to ask this question.
Reply 4
Hmm so i guess it must be too soon then. I would just rather spend time with each other at one of our flats or have a night out with each others' friends (which we sort of inadvertently did when we met up at the same club night we were going to, but i would like to have a properly arranged one).

I don't want to jump the gun and scare her off though so I suppose I'll need to think of what we could do when we meet up this week. Struggling for ideas.

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