Hi, I got an unconditional offer from St Catz this January, which I'm obviously hugely excited about, but I'm really scared about going to uni. To explain why I'm going to have to go into my life story a bit so feel free to ignore this thread if you can't be bothered with that.
I first went to uni at UCL in September 2014, and absolutely hated it - I enjoyed my subject but I couldn't get used to the lack of scheduling: I had 7 contact hours a week, and so subsequently I didn't really get to know many people on my course. My halls were a 30 minute walk from the main campus and only had 4 freshers doing my subject out of 500 living there, and my flatmates were either never in the flat or hid in their rooms all the time. I gradually became more and more depressed by how difficult I was finding it to make friends, living in a horrid part of London, and being alone pretty much all the time. I left in February of my first year, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety - by that stage I had become too nervous even to walk down a street, let alone go to lectures etc., and I'd stopped eating because I was too scared to go out and buy food. I've now spent just over a year in therapy and I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm so frightened that the whole process will just repeat itself when I come to Oxford and I'll end up miserable and being forced to leave uni again.
Aside from all that, I have pretty bad social anxiety. I'm usually alright when I know one or two people in a large group, but a mass of people I've never met before is my idea of hell. I know other people will be nervous during freshers, and that it will all probably be fine once I've got to know a few people, but the initial step absolutely terrifies me. Before UCL I was at a boarding school, which I loved, so I'm not really worried about leaving home or living with other people. It's the difficulty of making friends and my anxiety during social situations that I'm more worried about. I realise I should probably have made more effort at UCL but equally this kind of thing is just naturally difficult for me.
So really my question is what's freshers like at Catz? Is it structured (x event at x time, y event at y time), or are freshers just left to their own devices? What's the college like socially? And does anyone have any advice for me? I'd really appreciate the help. Because I'm in the weird position of having an unconditional offer, I haven't been sent much information by the college or the uni - I imagine they send it in August. Which is fine but the lack of information is making me worry.
Congrats to anyone who made it to the end of that. I don't really know if I've posted this in the right place but I'm just gonna go for it. Thanks in advance for replies.
What do you think?