Turn on thread page Beta

Have I lost this male friend? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I recently got back in touch with a male friend via Facebook. We used to be in the same class 10 years ago in secondary school but weren't very close. He initiated chat with me, and over the past couple of weeks steadily increased his contact with me by fb chat. He was not flirty, just friendly which I liked a lot. He'd message me first thing in the morning and in the night too and the chats would extend to hours. Conversations would consist of everything from family, work, to friends and relationships. I could see that he'd be online several times in a day. At one point when i aaked him, he even told me that he isn't speaking to other girls at the moment. This made me think why is he chatting to me?
    I noticed how often he was chatting to me, so one day I decided to make it clear that I am emotionally unavailable at the moment and I'm enjoying my single life. He asked me if I'm seeing anyone at the moment and questioned why I feel that way. I explained that I didnt want any relationships, but I'm enjoying getting back in touch with old friends. Overall, he seemed to be ok with it, and I causally ended the conversation as normal.
    Since then he has not logged on for days. He has not messaged me at all. He's not the type looking for booty calls, that's for sure but now I'm thinking he was only interested in being more than friends and not JUST friends. Have I lost a friend? What do think?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    It seems as if he was interested in getting to know you more than just friends, if he's not going to speak to you at all 'cause he won't date you then it's probably not worth trying to keep in contact with him.

    But it could merely just be a coincidence and he's actually doing something irl/has a legit excuse so try not to jump straight to a conclusion when you next speak.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    It's unlikely a guy that you were never close to at school is going to spend that many hours in a day talking to you with the sole hope of being your friend...
    Do you like him as more than a friend or just a friend?
    Offline

    21
    Well it seems to me, that yes he might have wanted to get into a relationship with you, rather than resume contact on an only friendly level. Since you, in a way, friendzoned him, perhaps he may feel that talking to you will only remind him that you don't want to be in a relationship with him...
    Which might explain why he hasn't been online?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Inexorably)
    It seems as if he was interested in getting to know you more than just friends, if he's not going to speak to you at all 'cause he won't date you then it's probably not worth trying to keep in contact with him.

    But it could merely just be a coincidence and he's actually doing something irl/has a legit excuse so try not to jump straight to a conclusion when you next speak.
    I just get the feeling he'd taken it too wrong and is "respecting boundaries" a bit too much. When I told him that I'm not looking for a relationship he said "there's nothing wrong with smiling and chatting. Don't worry I wont sweep you off your feet any time soon." But now he's disappeared.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by homeland.lsw)
    Well it seems to me, that yes he might have wanted to get into a relationship with you, rather than resume contact on an only friendly level. Since you, in a way, friendzoned him, perhaps he may feel that talking to you will only remind him that you don't want to be in a relationship with him...
    Which might explain why he hasn't been online?
    That makes a lot of sense. Maybe he doesn't really want to be friends at all.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 28, 2016
Poll
Is the Big Bang theory correct?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.