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    Me & my ex boyfriend have decided to watch a movie this evening together. I've passed my driving test so we made a promise ages ago that even if we're not together I'll still have to take him for a ride before anyone else . Now it's come to that stage ..

    To be very honest, I don't even want to see him. He's horrible . He's put me down on the way I look, he's spoken ill of me to other girls .. There's just so much but he thinks it okay ..

    I can't back out. But please can someone just tell me what to do in the following :

    How do I act tomorrow evening when I get him? Cause my mood right now is so off. I don't even want to see him . But he's bought the tickets.What can I do to make him feel bad for the way he's treated me seeing as he doesn't understand by telling him and crying. If he puts his arm around me how can I prevent it without causing a scene ? Sorry it's so long. It's a toxic relationship I've been in. He's really play mind games with me . It's hard to walk away.. I was thinking of just having music really loud in the car to and from there .
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    Why are you going? Phone him and tell him you don't think it's working out and you don't want to see him.
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    There are only 2 reasons why a promise should be broken;
    1) If it harms your well being physically or psychologically
    2) If the other person dies

    You qualify for number 1 so call him up and cancel it.
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Me & my ex boyfriend have decided to watch a movie this evening together. I've passed my driving test so we made a promise ages ago that even if we're not together I'll still have to take him for a ride before anyone else . Now it's come to that stage ..

    To be very honest, I don't even want to see him. He's horrible . He's put me down on the way I look, he's spoken ill of me to other girls .. There's just so much but he thinks it okay ..

    I can't back out. But please can someone just tell me what to do in the following :

    How do I act tomorrow evening when I get him? Cause my mood right now is so off. I don't even want to see him . But he's bought the tickets.What can I do to make him feel bad for the way he's treated me seeing as he doesn't understand by telling him and crying. If he puts his arm around me how can I prevent it without causing a scene ? Sorry it's so long. It's a toxic relationship I've been in. He's really play mind games with me . It's hard to walk away.. I was thinking of just having music really loud in the car to and from there .
    Can you confirm he's spoken ill of you, or is it just empty rumours (if so what extent of ill?) Just find it weird that he'd go out and speak ill of you to other girls, and then go ahead and buy tickets unless he's trying to put you on a piece of string.

    IMO, if you're not together and he has spoken ill I'd detach yourself! Speaking with an ex usually lands you in a grinder. (Assuming it is ex at this point)
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    The promise was made in confidence to your boyfriend, he is not your boyfriend anymore therefore it is null.
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    (Original post by Binary Freak)
    Can you confirm he's spoken ill of you, or is it just empty rumours (if so what extent of ill?) Just find it weird that he'd go out and speak ill of you to other girls, and then go ahead and buy tickets unless he's trying to put you on a piece of string.

    IMO, if you're not together and he has spoken ill I'd detach yourself! Speaking with an ex usually lands you in a grinder.
    Okay well we dated for a year and a half. First few months were great. ' honeymoon stage ' . And then eventually he would take the piss out of my weight. How I looked. What I wore. And then my friends.. He'd be horrible to them. Yeah I did speak to him about all of this -- but it didn't change anything .
    I then get told by a girl that he told her ' I told her to lose weight so we can do more ''' positions' and when I confronted him he denied it. But I never told anyone about what he would say to me.. So clearly he lied. He's sworn at me so many times and been disrespectful towards my mum.

    He's turned around to others and told them to lie to me to say he wasn't at a party and that I'm ' annoying'.

    It's mind games . Literally. He'll come grovelling back to me . But now we aren't together .. It does seem really dead. But he's paid for the tickets and everything.

    I will go... But just not sure how to behave especially when I feel so low .
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Me & my ex boyfriend have decided to watch a movie this evening together. I've passed my driving test so we made a promise ages ago that even if we're not together I'll still have to take him for a ride before anyone else . Now it's come to that stage ..

    To be very honest, I don't even want to see him. He's horrible . He's put me down on the way I look, he's spoken ill of me to other girls .. There's just so much but he thinks it okay ..

    I can't back out. But please can someone just tell me what to do in the following :

    How do I act tomorrow evening when I get him? Cause my mood right now is so off. I don't even want to see him . But he's bought the tickets.What can I do to make him feel bad for the way he's treated me seeing as he doesn't understand by telling him and crying. If he puts his arm around me how can I prevent it without causing a scene ? Sorry it's so long. It's a toxic relationship I've been in. He's really play mind games with me . It's hard to walk away.. I was thinking of just having music really loud in the car to and from there .
    Just be calm and don't overthink things. If you start to get wary at any minute, just stop and take him home.

    To be honest, I don't think you should go through with it. You are saying that this person has played mind games with you before, why would you want to get yourself in a situation that could leave open to his tricks again?
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    (Original post by whorace)
    The promise was made in confidence to your boyfriend, he is not your boyfriend anymore therefore it is null.
    Well when he thought I took someone else for a drive before him he got really mad and said you always break your promises . Etc . And I was completely shocked . Cause he made me feel like 0 tjay night and I didn't sleep till 4 am
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    You absolutely can back out and there is no good reason for you to hold this "promise".

    Please wise up and stop wasting your time.
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Well when he thought I took someone else for a drive before him he got really mad and said you always break your promises . Etc . And I was completely shocked . Cause he made me feel like 0 tjay night and I didn't sleep till 4 am
    I'll be blunt with you. You're simply too weak at the moment to meet him again, and if you do you will be dragged back into it.

    Look at the way he made you feel. He will manipulate you because you do not have the guts to tell him, No, No I don't break my promises, I have no responsibilities towards you, you are an ********. Do not call me again.
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    (Original post by cosmicstarbeast)
    Just be calm and don't overthink things. If you start to get wary at any minute, just stop and take him home.

    To be honest, I don't think you should go through with it. You are saying that this person has played mind games with you, why would you want to get yourself in a situation that could leave open to his tricks again?
    Because I still love him. I get upset about him every single day. and I know I need to let go and move on. But I can't :-(
    Well I can, I just find it difficult . He was there 24/7. It's so hard to snap out of the routine. I hate what he's become . And how he acts towards me. And I know I ain't ever going to get what I used to get .. Like we had a conversation tonight regarding a movie we both had watched apart.. And I asked who he went with from his old school. He literally snapped at me and told me to mind my own business.

    What did I do wrong ??

    And then after all of that he said ' goodnight x miss you'

    All I said was well you're seeing me tomorrow and you'll realise that there isn't much to miss about me '.
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Okay well we dated for a year and a half. First few months were great. ' honeymoon stage ' . And then eventually he would take the piss out of my weight. How I looked. What I wore. And then my friends.. He'd be horrible to them. Yeah I did speak to him about all of this -- but it didn't change anything .
    I then get told by a girl that he told her ' I told her to lose weight so we can do more ''' positions' and when I confronted him he denied it. But I never told anyone about what he would say to me.. So clearly he lied. He's sworn at me so many times and been disrespectful towards my mum.

    He's turned around to others and told them to lie to me to say he wasn't at a party and that I'm ' annoying'.

    It's mind games . Literally. He'll come grovelling back to me . But now we aren't together .. It does seem really dead. But he's paid for the tickets and everything.

    I will go... But just not sure how to behave especially when I feel so low .
    Then he's naturally a tw&t. Nothing warrants what he's done!

    Personally I wouldn't even make the effort to turn up if they've verbally attacked me and been rude to family. No point giving him the satisfaction tbf!
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    (Original post by whorace)
    I'll be blunt with you. You're simply too weak at the moment to meet him again, and if you do you will be dragged back into it.

    Look at the way he made you feel. He will manipulate you because you do not have the guts to tell him, No, No I don't break my promises, I have no responsibilities towards you, you are an ********. Do not call me again.
    Well that's another thing. His grandad passed away a few weeks back. And his family weren't home. So he asked me to come down. We chilled etc. Asked him to look at the photos of us as memories and there were explicit pictures of me of us both in bed. I asked him to delete it. He literally had a hissy fit about it. I cried ALOT cause he was angry and shouting. And I walked back home and he drove off.

    We didn't speak for a week after that day .
    My step dad passed away 2 years ago. I was expecting a text from him just to say hey are u okay.. I got nothing. The next day after I messaged him like wtf.

    His reply was I let my ego get in the way.
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    (Original post by Binary Freak)
    Then he's naturally a tw&t. Nothing warrants what he's done!

    Personally I wouldn't even make the effort to turn up if they've verbally attacked me and been rude to family. No point giving him the satisfaction tbf!
    I will still go tomorrow, but how do I act? Do I act all pally. Or do I keep it blunt . I really want him to see I'm stronger cause I am trying my upmost best to not let things get to me. But sometimes it does take its toll and tears me down.
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Well when he thought I took someone else for a drive before him he got really mad and said you always break your promises . Etc . And I was completely shocked . Cause he made me feel like 0 tjay night and I didn't sleep till 4 am
    He sounds very manipulative. Don't fall for it. You have every right to cancel a date/meeting with someone who is horrible to you. It does not matter what he says or if he paid for movie tickets. That's his problem - he should not have been abusive. How can you not see this? The fact that you will voluntarily go to a semi-date with someone that you feel revolted by is absurd. Put yourself first and back out.
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    (Original post by thatweirdasian)
    There are only 2 reasons why a promise should be broken;
    1) If it harms your well being physically or psychologically
    2) If the other person dies

    You qualify for number 1 so call him up and cancel it.
    Ah(
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Because I still love him. I get upset about him every single day. and I know I need to let go and move on. But I can't :-(
    Well I can, I just find it difficult . He was there 24/7. It's so hard to snap out of the routine. I hate what he's become . And how he acts towards me. And I know I ain't ever going to get what I used to get .. Like we had a conversation tonight regarding a movie we both had watched apart.. And I asked who he went with from his old school. He literally snapped at me and told me to mind my own business.

    What did I do wrong ??

    And then after all of that he said ' goodnight x miss you'

    All I said was well you're seeing me tomorrow and you'll realise that there isn't much to miss about me '.
    The fact that he snapped at you for asking a simple question should show you that this guy has changed. This isn't the same person you fell in love with and you know it. You're only putting yourself in a position where you could get hurt again or worse.

    Don't delude yourself into think that you're the problem.
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    I will still go tomorrow, but how do I act? Do I act all pally. Or do I keep it blunt . I really want him to see I'm stronger cause I am trying my upmost best to not let things get to me. But sometimes it does take its toll and tears me down.
    the only way you can show him you are stronger is by not turning up at all so he understands that you are no longer under his thumb
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Well that's another thing. His grandad passed away a few weeks back. And his family weren't home. So he asked me to come down. We chilled etc. Asked him to look at the photos of us as memories and there were explicit pictures of me of us both in bed. I asked him to delete it. He literally had a hissy fit about it. I cried ALOT cause he was angry and shouting. And I walked back home and he drove off.

    We didn't speak for a week after that day .
    My step dad passed away 2 years ago. I was expecting a text from him just to say hey are u okay.. I got nothing. The next day after I messaged him like wtf.

    His reply was I let my ego get in the way.
    I don't give a crap about his grandad and neither should you, you're making excuses for his behaviour because you are a nice and decent person and he is an abusive twit who is probably using you to get over his personal issues. He's an absolute loser, he will never accept personal responsibility, he will blame you for everything, there is nothing wrong with you. If he wanted help getting over his grandad he should have stopped being a stupid prat.
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    (Original post by Yellow 03)
    He sounds very manipulative. Don't fall for it. You have every right to cancel a date/meeting with someone who is horrible to you. It does not matter what he says or if he paid for movie tickets. That's his problem - he should not have been abusive. How can you not see this? The fact that you will voluntarily go to a semi-date with someone that you feel revolted by is absurd. Put yourself first and back out.
    This is a movie I really want to see . Literally it's just pick him up, go watch the movie and drop him home.
    However, I just don't know how to act. I really want him to see what he's been doing. Crying to him and talking to him hasn't helped he doesn't know . Ahhhh((
 
 
 
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