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    (Original post by tammie123)
    What do you mean out of our depth?
    I mean it sounds like you're both not ready to make a serious relationship work. He seems like a total mess for starters.
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    Was he ever with you? Should you really want him? the warning signs are all over your post of hic character traits.

    No and No
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    (Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
    I mean it sounds like you're both not ready to make a serious relationship work. He seems like a total mess for starters.
    Why do you think I'm not ready? I think you're probably right

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Was he ever with you? Should you really want him? the warning signs are all over your post of hic character traits.

    No and No
    What do you mean? Yeah we are together and which traits?
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Why do you think I'm not ready? I think you're probably right


    What do you mean? Yeah we are together and which traits?
    meaning there is a difference between his idea and your of how important the relationship is.

    You cant see it everyone else can. You arent after advie just someone to say it will be ok. I dont believe it will end well or hes worth expending any energy on. Give it a go and make your own mistakes.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    meaning there is a difference between his idea and your of how important the relationship is.

    You cant see it everyone else can. You arent after advie just someone to say it will be ok. I dont believe it will end well or hes worth expending any energy on. Give it a go and make your own mistakes.
    So does it seem like he views the relationship as more important or me?

    No I'm just trying to understand this situation
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    Hey, I just feel like you should leave him and just focus on yourself, clearly he's not the right person to be with. You just do what you need to do in order to achieve what you want and leave everything else behind. It may be really hard at first but when the right time comes and when you're not searching - the right person who will actually make you happy and love you unconditionally will come along and make you the happiest person ever. He will also want to marry you instead of having a relationship with you and respect you!.
    Don't lose hope and build something worthwhile for yourself so one day when he sees you he realises what a real fool he was!
    Goodluck with it all.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Ok so I started dating this guy and I've known him for just over 3 months. He never lets me pay for anything [control] whenever we have dinner despite me arguing alot about it [He doesnt listen or respect you opinion]. So recently I kept trying to insist that I should at least pay for my half but he wasn't letting me and he said something along the lines of: 'after you've left me, when you get married you can tell your husband that you had a really nice bf who used to pay for everything' [he is vain and believes he's some sort of role model with paying for everything, when in fact its a form of buying you spend £= increase obligation][ He doesnt see you long term , although tbf at your age he shouldnt]. And another time he said I should be more forward and demanding with my next bf. What is all this supposed to mean?He's spent over £100 in gifts for me [ If they make you uncomfy then ask him not to and return them].

    He's muslim and hes gonna go to Hajj soon but your prayers dont get accepted there if you have a gf so he said we should temporarily break up just while hes there but then get back together after, but I misunderstood and thought he was breaking up forever. So I barely ate, didn't speak to him much and started texting. This angered him alot and he started saying things like: 'this is why all your exes were so paranoid with you that you were cheating, [manipulative andpotentially abusive] instead of talking to me your just texting and keep staring at your phone'. After this we cleared up the misunderstanding. Then later on in the day he got drunk and he said he wouldn't leave me because he has developed alot of feelings for me and kept apologising for making me feel like that.

    He complains alot about how I don't ever call or text him first and even when he calls I don't pick up much and how I'm apparently conniving. He said it seems like I'm flirting with alot of other guys because it seems like I don't care about him.

    Does it seem like he's serious about me?

    You have to decide what you want and whats an accpetable way to be treated.
    Compare that with the way he treats you, how happy he makes you b when he makes you sad.

    Is it better to be with him or without? Only you cna make that choice, but I wouldnt someone who doesnt listen or respect my opinion and can get manipulative. He also twists his situation on religion to suit himself.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Ok so I started dating this guy and I've known him for just over 3 months. He never lets me pay for anything whenever we have dinner despite me arguing alot about it. So recently I kept trying to insist that I should at least pay for my half but he wasn't letting me and he said something along the lines of: 'after you've left me, when you get married you can tell your husband that you had a really nice bf who used to pay for everything'. And another time he said I should be more forward and demanding with my next bf. What is all this supposed to mean?He's spent over £100 in gifts for me

    He's muslim and hes gonna go to Hajj soon but your prayers dont get accepted there if you have a gf so he said we should temporarily break up just while hes there but then get back together after, but I misunderstood and thought he was breaking up forever. So I barely ate, didn't speak to him much and started texting. This angered him alot and he started saying things like: 'this is why all your exes were so paranoid with you that you were cheating, instead of talking to me your just texting and keep staring at your phone'. After this we cleared up the misunderstanding. Then later on in the day he got drunk and he said he wouldn't leave me because he has developed alot of feelings for me and kept apologising for making me feel like that.

    He complains alot about how I don't ever call or text him first and even when he calls I don't pick up much and how I'm apparently conniving. He said it seems like I'm flirting with alot of other guys because it seems like I don't care about him.

    Does it seem like he's serious about me?
    Ok i can answer this, basically he wants to be remembered and he loves you a lot. He was suspicious that you was cheating or flirting with other guys because you never replied to calls or called first. He cleverly wanted a response by saying "next bf really nice blah blah" to see your reaction so he knows where he stands. Then you actually started ignoring texts and calls, so he in his mind confirmed his suspicious by saying "so you're actually flirting with other guys thats why your ex's blah blah"
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You have to decide what you want and whats an accpetable way to be treated.
    Compare that with the way he treats you, how happy he makes you b when he makes you sad.

    Is it better to be with him or without? Only you cna make that choice, but I wouldnt someone who doesnt listen or respect my opinion and can get manipulative. He also twists his situation on religion to suit himself.
    What do you mean increase obligation? Increase obligation in what way?

    And you don't think he sees me as a long term thing? Why is that? (he's 26)
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You have to decide what you want and whats an accpetable way to be treated.
    Compare that with the way he treats you, how happy he makes you b when he makes you sad.

    Is it better to be with him or without? Only you cna make that choice, but I wouldnt someone who doesnt listen or respect my opinion and can get manipulative. He also twists his situation on religion to suit himself.
    I don't think you should judge his character tbh. Guys do things like that ONLY WHEN THEY CARE. They have feelings, if they didn't care, they wouldn't even give 2 damns about who you're sleeping with or flirting with. Its that simple.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    What do you mean increase obligation? Increase obligation in what way?

    And you don't think he sees me as a long term thing? Why is that? (he's 26)
    Some men think that the amount of money spent = treating them better. Its like they buy their way into a relationship. You should be grateful because he spent £££.


    Its ok though becayse £100 isnt a lot and we had a supposed 17 year old on here who was being given Iphones and macs by her 25 year old bf, which kind of trumps yours.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    What do you mean increase obligation? Increase obligation in what way?

    And you don't think he sees me as a long term thing? Why is that? (he's 26)
    above
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    (Original post by PikahBoo)
    I don't think you should judge his character tbh. Guys do things like that ONLY WHEN THEY CARE. They have feelings, if they didn't care, they wouldn't even give 2 damns about who you're sleeping with or flirting with. Its that simple.
    Too late im afraid. theres a difference between caring about the person you are with and caring about yourself.
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    He's confused and controlling. Best thing to do is: leave him.
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    He's confused and controlling. Best thing to do is: leave him.
    Confused about what?
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    I completely agree with you, I think a little bit of jealousy is okay because it shows you care but there's a limit. The last guy I was with broke my phone after seeing a guys number on it, I ended up leaving him because of this and some other similar reasons. I ended up losing all of my lecture recordings thats what I was most annoyed about
    You are going to meet a lot of people. they might have different ideas about what a relationship is and how they should treat the other person.

    If what you see is not consistent with the type of relationship you wnat then bail and find someone else. Do be prepared to hear a lot of bs fromsome men because they know what some gilrs like to hear and words are cheap, its also easy to buy stuff becayse if you have £s then it bypasses having to make an effort. When you get experienced youll spot the signs and move on.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Confused about what?
    He doesn't know if he wants you or not. Planning on temporarily breaking up with you LOL - if he did want you, he'd marry you and if he did intend on marrying you - he will not have got you into this relationship ********.
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    Lol, haven't been here in ages and people still complain. LOL, you guys knew each other for 3 months...
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    He doesn't know if he wants you or not. Planning on temporarily breaking up with you LOL - if he did want you, he'd marry you and if he did intend on marrying you - he will not have got you into this relationship ********.
    But we've only known each other for 3 months. I think you have to get to know the person for at least a year before deciding whether or not you want to get married
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    (Original post by Slutty Salafi)
    lol at him trying to dupe Allah :rofl:
    LOL
 
 
 
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