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    (Original post by uberteknik)
    He will be serious just as long as it suits him and no more.

    He is controlling, manipulating, selfish and duplicitous. You are being bought like a common prostitute and he's even boasting about how much he is spending on you and justifying it by saying you can tell your future husband how nice he is!

    He may not have a choice with regards to an arranged marriage and is just getting his oats while he still can.

    Open your eyes, this relationship is going nowhere.

    Don't fall for his con trick. Mark my words.
    he's not a female, have to be a real spineless male to be forced into an arranged marriage even in highly conservative families.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Hes bengali (so am I) and bengalis tend to be open to allowing their children have love marriages (as long as they don't do anything haram and the person they pick is bengali ). He also mentioned that his family would allow him to pick someone
    he drinks and thinks he can "trick" Allah (swt) by temporarily breaking up? Guy stands for nothing and honestly seems kinda dim, no self-respecting bengi family would accept him for their daughter he sounds like typical east london scum.

    Yes bengali families are open to love marriages but if you bring home dog **** they'll ship u off backhome to get married.
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Ok so I started dating this guy and I've known him for just over 3 months. He never lets me pay for anything whenever we have dinner despite me arguing alot about it. So recently I kept trying to insist that I should at least pay for my half but he wasn't letting me and he said something along the lines of: 'after you've left me, when you get married you can tell your husband that you had a really nice bf who used to pay for everything'. And another time he said I should be more forward and demanding with my next bf. What is all this supposed to mean?He's spent over £100 in gifts for me

    He's muslim and hes gonna go to Hajj soon but your prayers dont get accepted there if you have a gf so he said we should temporarily break up just while hes there but then get back together after, but I misunderstood and thought he was breaking up forever. So I barely ate, didn't speak to him much and started texting. This angered him alot and he started saying things like: 'this is why all your exes were so paranoid with you that you were cheating, instead of talking to me your just texting and keep staring at your phone'. After this we cleared up the misunderstanding. Then later on in the day he got drunk and he said he wouldn't leave me because he has developed alot of feelings for me and kept apologising for making me feel like that.

    He complains alot about how I don't ever call or text him first and even when he calls I don't pick up much and how I'm apparently conniving. He said it seems like I'm flirting with alot of other guys because it seems like I don't care about him.

    Does it seem like he's serious about me?
    1. Why are you with someone who is drinking alcohol which is forbidden in Islam your parents would not accept him and neither should you.
    2. Also saying break up and he will go to hajj then afterwards you will go out together again is haram as well. Its like fasting in ramadan you will start praying and stop swearing, lying act all pious ect but afterwards you go back to your old habits.
    3. He is very manipulative im surprised you can't see it yourself.

    If i were you i would make this break up permanent he is not good for you and also saying how you can tell your husband how much he spent on you is showing you he is not considering being with you for the long term if he was surely he would have spoken about marriage instead of just dating which is not allowed.

    Also his prayers will not get answered at Hajj because he dosen't have a pure heart because Allah will know what his intentions are. People who go Hajj try to stay on the right path not go back to their old ways so he should cancel his ticket and not bother.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    1. Why are you with someone who is drinking alcohol which is forbidden in Islam your parents would not accept him and neither should you.
    2. Also saying break up and he will go to hajj then afterwards you will go out together again is haram as well. Its like fasting in ramadan you will start praying and stop swearing, lying act all pious ect but afterwards you go back to your old habits.
    3. He is very manipulative im surprised you can't see it yourself.

    If i were you i would make this break up permanent he is not good for you and also saying how you can tell your husband how much he spent on you is showing you he is not considering being with you for the long term if he was surely he would have spoken about marriage instead of just dating which is not allowed.

    Also his prayers will not get answered at Hajj because he dosen't have a pure heart because Allah will know what his intentions are. People who go Hajj try to stay on the right path not go back to their old ways so he should cancel his ticket and not bother.
    Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it and I think youre right to be honest.
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    Why's he drinking? It's forbidden, he sounds like he doesn't take his religion seriously...
    He also sounds a tad controlling, maybe this is a warning sign, if things don't seem right trust your instincts and get out whilst you still can
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    I hope you are okay though xo
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it and I think youre right to be honest.
    He does not seem like a good person nor is he a good muslim you could do better not someone who will criticize you and make you out to be a bad person and chooses which parts of his religion to follow when it suits him.
    I find it laughable him going hajj when he will probably continue drinking after!
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    (Original post by the bear)
    tbh £100 in gifts is rather stingy...
    for 3 months its ok ?
    my boyfriend bought me a £199 necklace for our first xmas <3
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    for 3 months its ok ?
    my boyfriend bought me a £199 necklace for our first xmas <3
    Thats really sweet of him, how long have you been with him for?
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    Update: his other gf called me recently, she found my number on his phone and she was trying to ask me who I was. He called me later telling me she was crazy and asked me to cover for him and tell her we're just friends. She was screaming and crying saying she would 'smash the place up' and I heard him tell her to step back in the background. I was worried she'd hurt him so I covered for him. Then he called me and asked me for one more chance when I tried to break up with him and told me that he was only with her because she kept threatening to kill herself if he left and he felt bad for her because her mum passed away recently. He said he doesn't want to be with her. Hes been with his gf for 4 years
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Update: his other gf called me recently, she found my number on his phone and she was trying to ask me who I was. He called me later telling me she was crazy and asked me to cover for him and tell her we're just friends. She was screaming and crying saying she would 'smash the place up' and I heard him tell her to step back in the background. I was worried she'd hurt him so I covered for him. Then he called me and asked me for one more chance when I tried to break up with him and told me that he was only with her because she kept threatening to kill herself if he left and he felt bad for her because her mum passed away recently. He said he doesn't want to be with her. Hes been with his gf for 4 years
    Did you know he had a gf? You have a reason to ditch him if he won't leave her now what makes you think he will leave her in the future. He is not married to her and he has the nerve to accuse you of flirting with other boys when he is the one cheating on his gf and lying to you!!!
    Wouldn't go near him if i were you please steer clear of him seems like a lot of drama with him.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    Did you know he had a gf? You have a reason to ditch him if he won't leave her now what makes you think he will leave her in the future. He is not married to her and he has the nerve to accuse you of flirting with other boys when he is the one cheating on his gf and lying to you!!!
    Wouldn't go near him if i were you please steer clear of him seems like a lot of drama with him.
    No I only found out when she called. I broke up with him but he kept trying to explain it and was asking for another chance. Why do people even cheat
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    Absolute lollapalooza here
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    Sounds like an abusive relationship tbh
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    Update: his other gf called me recently, she found my number on his phone and she was trying to ask me who I was. He called me later telling me she was crazy and asked me to cover for him and tell her we're just friends. She was screaming and crying saying she would 'smash the place up' and I heard him tell her to step back in the background. I was worried she'd hurt him so I covered for him. Then he called me and asked me for one more chance when I tried to break up with him and told me that he was only with her because she kept threatening to kill herself if he left and he felt bad for her because her mum passed away recently. He said he doesn't want to be with her. Hes been with his gf for 4 years
    You're incredibly naive if you don't drop him immediately

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    Leave him immediately and go no contact. Get family and police to help you if you are scared he will do something.
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    What an *******.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    does it seem like he doesn't like me, why would he not leave her? is he making excuses and actually still likes her
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    (Original post by tammie123)
    does it seem like he doesn't like me, why would he not leave her? is he making excuses and actually still likes her
    He's definitely with her as well as with you. He likes you but he doesn't respect you, you don't deserve that, please leave him for your sake
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    Thanks for the advice everyone, I've decided to leave him. It wasn't easy but youre all right, hes not right for me.
 
 
 
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