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The Scary Ex
Thought long and hard about posting this but seeing as I'm at the end of my tether, I thought a bit of outside help might be good.
Ok, I started seeing my ex at 17and he didn't really have many good friends and had been bullied a lot and worshipped me. (I was new to the school and had always been a complete nobody).
By the second year of 6th form I'd pretty much lost all friends due to the fact I was so close to him, and he became extremely jealous whenever I did anything without him (arguments, telling me what to wear, threatening me and other people, violence). Of course I stayed with him thinking he'd grow out of it and we were 'in love' and anyway, I had nobody else to turn to.
Uni was a disaster, I couldn't cope being away from him and had no idea how to make new friends (not that he'd make it easy for me anyway, threatening phonecalls etc) and I ended up dropping out while his life took off in uni, I'm convinced this is due to the fact I did everything in th 2 years we were together to make sure he was ok, at the depriment of my own confidence.
Eventually, after I dropped out and went to work, I broke up with him after a huge public fight. A few months later we got close again, started hanging around, but not in a romantic sense (stupid mistake on my part, I know).
New uni, hate it. Started seeing a bloke I really really like and we're perfect for each other, and relationship is SO much less stressful. Last week, over a year after ex and I broke up, my bf gets an email from him - a Casefile of everything bad I've ever done, and every romantic thing I'd ever said to him while going out (not that I can think of anything bad I've done to him apart from possibly leading him on a bit after we'd broken up).
My bf deleted it without reading but I can see a distance has appeared between us (who can blame him) and I'm worried this might put a strain on our relationship (he lives in coventry, I'm in Brighton for uni/cardiff home).
What do I do about it? It really feels like the last straw (this is the most recent in a string of weird things my ex has done, including hacking into email/ebay/bank accounts and turning up randomly for fights).
I'm tempted to ignore it, not respond in any way as he's expecting, but I can't help feel down at how evil he's being. My parents hate him and would happily approach him, but I'm scared of the reaction.
Could really use some advice as this is the last thing I need at the moment, what with uni being bad and having had some big issues within my family to deal with.
Ok, I started seeing my ex at 17and he didn't really have many good friends and had been bullied a lot and worshipped me. (I was new to the school and had always been a complete nobody).
By the second year of 6th form I'd pretty much lost all friends due to the fact I was so close to him, and he became extremely jealous whenever I did anything without him (arguments, telling me what to wear, threatening me and other people, violence). Of course I stayed with him thinking he'd grow out of it and we were 'in love' and anyway, I had nobody else to turn to.
Uni was a disaster, I couldn't cope being away from him and had no idea how to make new friends (not that he'd make it easy for me anyway, threatening phonecalls etc) and I ended up dropping out while his life took off in uni, I'm convinced this is due to the fact I did everything in th 2 years we were together to make sure he was ok, at the depriment of my own confidence.
Eventually, after I dropped out and went to work, I broke up with him after a huge public fight. A few months later we got close again, started hanging around, but not in a romantic sense (stupid mistake on my part, I know).
New uni, hate it. Started seeing a bloke I really really like and we're perfect for each other, and relationship is SO much less stressful. Last week, over a year after ex and I broke up, my bf gets an email from him - a Casefile of everything bad I've ever done, and every romantic thing I'd ever said to him while going out (not that I can think of anything bad I've done to him apart from possibly leading him on a bit after we'd broken up).
My bf deleted it without reading but I can see a distance has appeared between us (who can blame him) and I'm worried this might put a strain on our relationship (he lives in coventry, I'm in Brighton for uni/cardiff home).
What do I do about it? It really feels like the last straw (this is the most recent in a string of weird things my ex has done, including hacking into email/ebay/bank accounts and turning up randomly for fights).
I'm tempted to ignore it, not respond in any way as he's expecting, but I can't help feel down at how evil he's being. My parents hate him and would happily approach him, but I'm scared of the reaction.
Could really use some advice as this is the last thing I need at the moment, what with uni being bad and having had some big issues within my family to deal with.
Call the police, get a restraining order.
hippieglitter
Call the police, get a restraining order.
^^That and also talk to your current boyfriend about everything, explain that you love him/dont want to loose him and that your ex is just trying to destroy what you have.
Yup, police and restraining order.^ He sounds like a nightmare 
As bishman said, just talk to your b/f and explain how much you love him, and that this guy is just crazy. Hope you work things out.
As bishman said, just talk to your b/f and explain how much you love him, and that this guy is just crazy. Hope you work things out.
After thinking again, why would he be off at you for simply recieving an email about you? He must have read it, but said he deleted with reading just to make you feel better. (although this is speculation).
My last post still stands however, talk to him and explain things, if he likes you enough to protect your feelings, chances are hes just unnerved by your ex's email.
My last post still stands however, talk to him and explain things, if he likes you enough to protect your feelings, chances are hes just unnerved by your ex's email.
Wow, didn't expect any responses, thanks guys.
The restraining order thing has been an dea floating around for at least a year now, and I've always been too scared to do such a thing. I mean, I just thought the police would laugh at me or something.
aLthough I'm pretty much sure my bf hasn't read it, I've got to admit he's been acting strangely, almost like he's lost interest in a heartbeat. It's my problem and not his, I'd rather the ex attack me not someone else, but I guess that's how he works.
Agh stress... and haven't heard a peep from my bf all day which is very weird.
The restraining order thing has been an dea floating around for at least a year now, and I've always been too scared to do such a thing. I mean, I just thought the police would laugh at me or something.
aLthough I'm pretty much sure my bf hasn't read it, I've got to admit he's been acting strangely, almost like he's lost interest in a heartbeat. It's my problem and not his, I'd rather the ex attack me not someone else, but I guess that's how he works.
Agh stress... and haven't heard a peep from my bf all day which is very weird.
galleta87
Wow, didn't expect any responses, thanks guys.
The restraining order thing has been an dea floating around for at least a year now, and I've always been too scared to do such a thing. I mean, I just thought the police would laugh at me or something.
aLthough I'm pretty much sure my bf hasn't read it, I've got to admit he's been acting strangely, almost like he's lost interest in a heartbeat. It's my problem and not his, I'd rather the ex attack me not someone else, but I guess that's how he works.
Agh stress... and haven't heard a peep from my bf all day which is very weird.
The restraining order thing has been an dea floating around for at least a year now, and I've always been too scared to do such a thing. I mean, I just thought the police would laugh at me or something.
aLthough I'm pretty much sure my bf hasn't read it, I've got to admit he's been acting strangely, almost like he's lost interest in a heartbeat. It's my problem and not his, I'd rather the ex attack me not someone else, but I guess that's how he works.
Agh stress... and haven't heard a peep from my bf all day which is very weird.
I have a friend whose ex was quite crazy and stalked her for a bit, doing similar things to what you said, hacking into accounts etc. She got a restraining order against him, and I'd say he probably did less than what your ex is doing [although what he was doing was still bad]. I'd get a restraining order, it's the only way you can live in peace. After my friend got one against him, he completely backed off, I think he was just completely jealous and pissed off that things didn't work out between him and her.
spacecowgirl89
I have a friend whose ex was quite crazy and stalked her for a bit, doing similar things to what you said, hacking into accounts etc. She got a restraining order against him, and I'd say he probably did less than what your ex is doing [although what he was doing was still bad]. I'd get a restraining order, it's the only way you can live in peace. After my friend got one against him, he completely backed off, I think he was just completely jealous and pissed off that things didn't work out between him and her.
OK maybe it's time I did do something about this once and for all, I always just avoided it. But he's taking the mick and he's not going to give up anytime soon. (Just found out he dropped out of uni, and what with me being home now after exams and him living about 5 mins up the road I REALLY odn't want to spend the summer watching my back)
Thanks guys
Good luck 
I'm sure he'll back off once you get a restraining order, and if he doesn't..well, the police will make him!
I'm sure he'll back off once you get a restraining order, and if he doesn't..well, the police will make him!Related discussions
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