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I want to come out as bi (F) but I fear my best friend (a lesbian) will be FURIOUS! watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter


    Okay so one of my closest friends is a lesbian. She has always referred to me as straight and assumed that I am. It's true I haven't really been involved with many women however I am getting to the point now in my mid 20s where I want to experience more with women.

    My best friend has had many bad experiences dating bi women, mainly bi girls leaving her for men once they have finished experimenting. I've had to comfort her over many a heartbreak for this reason.

    Another problem is my best friend finds me very attractive and jokes that I'm the perfect woman and wishes that I was a lesbian too... The problem is whilst obviously I love her personality I have zero physical attraction to her and this hasn't changed over the years I've known her. She's very overweight and masculine which is the complete opposite of what I'm attracted to in a woman. I'm scared if I come out as bi she will be mad that I don't like her, if that makes any sense. I know a bi girl who is really hot and super nice and I want to get with her soon but again I'm scared my lesbian friend will get jealous.

    I don't want to be in the closet any more. I think she will be mad that I didn't tell her sooner, but also mad that I'm bi. What should I do??

    How can I go about this to minimize damage to my friend?

    ok this is definitely a really horrible situation to be caught in but there no point in pretending to be someone you're not. If she really is a friend worth keeping she can get over the fact you don't like her back, it can't be easy but that's the way life is. i've been in this position with a guy and i played the " oh common we're best friends i can't go out with you, i't would be like dating my brother" card. every situation is a little different but eventually shes going to have to come to terms with the fact you're not interested romantically. I would just let her know that shes still incredibly important in you're life as a friend and nothing more. The sooner you can do that and be out the better.
    • #2

    I'm sure that she'll be accepting if she's a true friend. Maybe you could let her know that you think she's pretty but isn't attractive to you?

    To be honest, if you fell out over it I think that it would be her own fault for letting her crush on your come between your friendship.

    Also, biphobia is unacceptable and if she tries to make you feel bad for being bisexual then don't let her. Bisexual people aren't more promiscuous than straight or lesbian people and they aren't just people who are trying to experiment. I really hate how even in the lgbt community it seems like people think biphobia is acceptable but homophobia isn't, when really they're both discriminating against someone based on their sexuality.

    Hope it all goes well for you and your friend!!!
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