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Is it seen as shallow to have standards? Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    When I had no confidence and was concerned with being the 'nice' girl I wanted to love people for who they are. I had no standards and as a result I was only attracted to men who where 'nice guys' but through their own insecurity treated me like trash and put me down and made me feel ugly, called me 'fat' (I've never been above size 8 and 111lbs in my life). Then one day I broke and decided never again...

    Now that I'm raising my self esteem and I know my worth now I'm being pretty ruthless about what I want and will accept no less. I scoff now at the thought of the men whose affections I once so badly wanted. I've stopped being sweet and innocent and I get more respect and interest from men. However there this still that voice in the back of my head, that old me, the nice girl, who is telling me not to be so shallow and to be patient, true love waits, and all that BS. I hope the nice girl inside me dies soon. I feel more free to be me rather than putting on an act to please people who aren't worth a dime.

    So anyway what do you think of people with standards?
    • #2
    #2

    Go for it. Self respect makes you high worth which is attractive.
    Self respect is good, but remember to always treat others with respect etc. but you come first. Self love isn't selfish.
    You should be proud because I find that putting into action what you described is flipping difficult. 🙂🙂
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    No point in being someone you aren't attracted to.
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    Its seen as shallow to have unreasonably high standards.
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    You should only expect that from your partner which you can offer yourself.
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    (Original post by BristolFresher15)
    Its seen as shallow to have unreasonably high standards.
    I agree.
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    I'm counting on low standards tbh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When I had no confidence and was concerned with being the 'nice' girl I wanted to love people for who they are. I had no standards and as a result I was only attracted to men who where 'nice guys' but through their own insecurity treated me like trash and put me down and made me feel ugly, called me 'fat' (I've never been above size 8 and 111lbs in my life). Then one day I broke and decided never again...

    Now that I'm raising my self esteem and I know my worth now I'm being pretty ruthless about what I want and will accept no less. I scoff now at the thought of the men whose affections I once so badly wanted. I've stopped being sweet and innocent and I get more respect and interest from men. However there this still that voice in the back of my head, that old me, the nice girl, who is telling me not to be so shallow and to be patient, true love waits, and all that BS. I hope the nice girl inside me dies soon. I feel more free to be me rather than putting on an act to please people who aren't worth a dime.

    So anyway what do you think of people with standards?

    Good for you.

    I'm afraid the 'sweet and innocent' will often be exploited by others. There comes a point when you have to toughen up and stop giving a **** about what people think.

    Sometimes you have to ruthlessly work your way through the duds to find one you actually want.

    Be a 'nice girl' when you find a guy who deserves it.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    I'm counting on low standards tbh
    You joke, but I have a feeling you're very attractive... :eyeball:
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    The trick is to be nice/sweet BUT also have strong boundaries and standards for the way people treat you and be willing to be firm or walk away as soon as they cross your lines. And then when you find the right person who does treat you right and has your best interests at heart, go all out for them only.
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    its obviously good to have standards, it doesn't mean you snobby it just means you expect the person to behave with class.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When I had no confidence and was concerned with being the 'nice' girl I wanted to love people for who they are. I had no standards and as a result I was only attracted to men who where 'nice guys' but through their own insecurity treated me like trash and put me down and made me feel ugly, called me 'fat'
    I don't think you understand what 'nice guy' means.

    I think the word you're looking for is '@rsehole'.
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    Right **** it let's do this.
    >computer science.
    >brown hair, green/brown eyes, perfect imperfection in face symmetry, medium-long hair slightly curled
    >white because reasons
    >b breasts
    >waist:hip ratio equal to pi*2/10 ave any more or less this is a failure
    >5ft go from there, not picky
    >highly intelligent phd, interesting personality but also feminine
    >slightly less money than me but still six figures

    If you don't meet all of that criteria why the **** are you even talking to me? Get the **** out of my house bro!
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    Tbh OP you sound mixed up. Its good to know what you wnat, just be sure that your shallowness is oing to deliver what you want. Hard to gauge with you explaining more.
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    Of course, its perfectly reasonable to have a standard in terms of the kind of people you'd want to date or be friends with. Just don't be a hypocrite.
 
 
 
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