Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    ........
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Peer Support Volunteers
    (Original post by Candy55)
    I recently made a new friend and it was nice talking and all. He was funny ectra.

    However, he told me a racist joke and I called him out for saying it and we had big argument.

    We never had an argument up until then but arguments are inevitable right? Can't expect everything to be perfect right?

    I mean, how is it that I should stop talking to him just because of one argument? How can I expect myself to have long relationships if I give up too easily?

    To clarify, I we already apologized to each other but I just stopped talking to him and dunno if I should just stop talking.

    I dunno if i should just stop talking to him or try and work it out??? WHAT SHOULD I DO, i'm so confused??!!!
    If that joke is the only issue then try and work it out
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by claireestelle)
    If that joke is the only issue then try and work it out
    Yeh the joke was the main issue. Thanks, yeh i guess so.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    More help pls??
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    I dont deal with racists, not acceptable. If thats what they believe then no thanks. If it was just awkward and they were ignorant then you can turn it round. Context is important. Carry it on if you wnat bit if they repeat or it becomes apparent they really are racist, then id drop them.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Candy55)
    More help pls??
    Definitely keep trying. In a few months or weeks it's going to get to a point where it'll be too awkward or weird if you pop up again to become friends. And don't be the person with a lot of pride who feels they shouldn't put in effort, not that you are, just try, because when you do you'll have no regrets, you can always look back and say you've tried. What I'm getting at here is, try become friends with them again and see where it goes. If it gets to the point where you are the only person trying to fix the relationship then give up. and if not then there you go :')
    PM me for anything else.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    For me it depends on a couple of things. The severity of the joke, and whether you think he's actually racist or really was just joking.

    If the joke was so disgustingly awful that no one would conceivably find it funny, I would say that hints towards the second point. Arguments are normal, and I wouldn't stop speaking to someone because of one. But if though the course of the argument he's said some stuff which was really hurtful to you or suggested that he was racist you might want to cut contact.

    If he didn't say anything like that, my advice would definitely be to try and patch things over. Say you're sorry for overreacting and I doubt he'd make another race joke around you again.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dean01234)
    For me it depends on a couple of things. The severity of the joke, and whether you think he's actually racist or really was just joking.

    If the joke was so disgustingly awful that no one would conceivably find it funny, I would say that hints towards the second point. Arguments are normal, and I wouldn't stop speaking to someone because of one. But if though the course of the argument he's said some stuff which was really hurtful to you or suggested that he was racist you might want to cut contact.

    If he didn't say anything like that, my advice would definitely be to try and patch things over. Say you're sorry for overreacting and I doubt he'd make another race joke around you again.
    Thanks for the help, it really helped !!

    EXCATLY!! Yeh for me I thought it WAS disgustingly awful that no one would conceivably find it funny. But he was like "omg mang how could you think this and that, or I am that bad? Sometimes I say jokes to cope/ they've lost their mean-ness. I even all insult my friends/ i thought i could tell you this"

    It's just that the thought of talking to him again also doesn't exactly fill me with joy........so shall I just take a break for a while? But definitely try to talk to me when i can.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by X_alwayssmiley)
    Definitely keep trying. In a few months or weeks it's going to get to a point where it'll be too awkward or weird if you pop up again to become friends. And don't be the person with a lot of pride who feels they shouldn't put in effort, not that you are, just try, because when you do you'll have no regrets, you can always look back and say you've tried. What I'm getting at here is, try become friends with them again and see where it goes. If it gets to the point where you are the only person trying to fix the relationship then give up. and if not then there you go :'
    PM me for anything else.
    Thanks for the advice, it's really helpful Yeh I'll try to do it. But what am I supposed to do abut this : i don't feel like really talking to him......the thought doesn't exactly fill me with joy???
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Now watch me
    Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Candy55)
    Thanks for the help, it really helped !!

    EXCATLY!! Yeh for me I thought it WAS disgustingly awful that no one would conceivably find it funny. But he was like "omg mang how could you think this and that, or I am that bad? Sometimes I say jokes to cope/ they've lost their mean-ness. I even all insult my friends/ i thought i could tell you this"

    It's just that the thought of talking to him again also doesn't exactly fill me with joy........so shall I just take a break for a while? But definitely try to talk to me when i can.
    See if he didn't think it was that bad, he was probably trying to be funny rather than offensive. If you don't want to talk to him you've got 2 real choices, don't talk to him or force yourself to do it anyway because you did like him and you might get on really well together (for option 2 maybe meeting in person would be better than texting too much)
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dean01234)
    See if he didn't think it was that bad, he was probably trying to be funny rather than offensive. If you don't want to talk to him you've got 2 real choices, don't talk to him or force yourself to do it anyway because you did like him and you might get on really well together (for option 2 maybe meeting in person would be better than texting too much)
    Thank you for the help I think i'll take your advice and force myself to talk to him.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    I dont deal with racists, not acceptable. If thats what they believe then no thanks. If it was just awkward and they were ignorant then you can turn it round. Context is important. Carry it on if you wnat bit if they repeat or it becomes apparent they really are racist, then id drop them.
    Thanks for the help !! Yeh i'll try to do it.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    People who get butthurt over stupid jokes make it worse, if he has no bad intentions he has no bad intentions and you are in the wrong.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by silentó)
    Now watch me
    Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
    Interesting take on the dude's problem.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by M14B)
    Interesting take on the dude's problem.
    Lol yeah XD
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by silentó)
    Now watch me
    Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
    Ok thanks , Silento XD lol
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Candy55)
    Ok thanks , Silento XD lol
    In hindsight I should have replied to your OP properly, sorry.
    Now watch me
    Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    People who get butthurt over stupid jokes make it worse, if he has no bad intentions he has no bad intentions and you are in the wrong.
    I guess your right.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I honestly can't do it! I can't bring myself to talk to them! I don't think I can!!!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 31, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.