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    I've been with this girl for three days now and we were having a conversation over the phone about our exes. So I asked her if she still had love for her ex and she said " she's not going to lie, but yes". Then she asked me the same question and I replied "no"!. Her ex is living in another country so there's no chance of her moving country and re-uniting but I still got seriously hurt,. Knowing all the while I was with her she had love for another man, so I didn't reply I just cut the phone on her, but I sent her a text saying it was over. The next morning she calls me saying that she really regretted and was crying over what she had said to me over the phone, saying "that she knows I am the only one for her and I am the one she wants to be with, but that she needs time then I can be all hers" and said she wanted to meet up with me at a cafe tomorrow morning to talk about me and her.

    I didn't really say anything after that,I just said "okay, I think I need to think this through" and cut. But this is been really depressing me the whole day since this morning, what should I do? should I call it quits and end the relationship within 3 days or give her a second chance?

    I still have strong emotions for her, but something is telling me to end it.

    I don't know what to do. :/
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    If you take her back now you look weak and manipulative, you don't break up or threaten to breakup unless you can go through with it
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    If you carry on, then at least its with your eyes open. You are only 3 days in, so give it more time imo, maybe a few weeks and see how you feel and she responds. Early days yet. If she keeps going on about her ex you have your answer.
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    You've ended it yourself by throwing her into insecurity, now everytime she thinks of saying something she will hide it from you for fear of what you will do.
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    seriously why would she say that :lol:

    must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/
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    (Original post by mkap)
    seriously why would she say that :lol:

    must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/
    True, the irony is she was honest enough to tell him about it, if she was honest enough to tell him about it then he had no reason to distrust her. Ok the ex might complicate things if he came back, but at least he knows she will be honest with him.
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    Looks like she still thinks about her ex
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    (Original post by mkap)
    seriously why would she say that :lol:

    must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/
    Bit dumb, especially if true, but some people when asked a direct question find it difficult to say anything but the truth.

    Not that i approve of lying, just a more thoughtful and considered answer might have been better.
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    You'll just look stupid if you go back now.
    Walk away with your head held up high.
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    keep banging.
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    She still likes her ex obviously but sees no point in getting back with him as he lives in a different country.
    If her liking her ex gets to you, then it is best for you to just forget about it tbh.
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    You could save it in the long term if you are patient but it is a difficult game and could go very wrong.

    I suggest a 3 months silence, this is because

    It allows her to think things through.
    You don't look like you go back on your word easily.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    If you take her back now you look weak and manipulative, you don't break up or threaten to breakup unless you can go through with it
    This is top relationship advice. Threatening to break up either makes you look cruel and unkind or weak and pathetic, neither are good looks for a man.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    You've ended it yourself by throwing her into insecurity, now everytime she thinks of saying something she will hide it from you for fear of what you will do.
    Yes you are right, I agree with you. Sending that text on impulse was a bad idea.

    So you think I should just end everything, because it's already turning sour so early and it might get worse in the long run?
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If you carry on, then at least its with your eyes open. You are only 3 days in, so give it more time imo, maybe a few weeks and see how you feel and she responds. Early days yet. If she keeps going on about her ex you have your answer.
    Yes it's only been 3 days, she said she was with her ex since childhood, so they knew each other for years. So to expect her to get over him so quickly is probably too much of me to ask for. I should maybe give it time. But I just don't know.
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    if she needs time give her time to PROPERLY get over him but don't get with her until she does this. You don't want to be someone she's using to get over him. Also its only been three days and you're having problems, makes me question things...
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    if she needs time give her time to PROPERLY get over him but don't get with her until she does this. You don't want to be someone she's using to get over him. Also its only been three days and you're having problems, makes me question things...
    I don't think it's unfair to say that he might grow on her during the relationship, sometimes meeting someone new when you're still not over your ex is what helps it's not just about using them.

    Next time you make a serious decision do seek some counsel.
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    (Original post by mkap)
    seriously why would she say that :lol:

    must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/
    No, she broke up with him 4 or 5 months ago, but they were childhood friends before deciding to get into a relationship, so they've known each other for quite a long time. I don't know it's probably too much of me to expect someone to get over an ex so quickly, but at the same time it hurts knowing that she still loves someone else.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    I don't think it's unfair to say that he might grow on her during the relationship, sometimes meeting someone new when you're still not over your ex is what helps it's not just about using them.

    Next time you make a serious decision do seek some counsel.
    well she's admitted that she's not over him so it would certainly make me question things if I were in the same relationship and I definitely wouldn't want to be told my bf still has feelings for his ex, its just not right and that makes me wonder even more why she's in one.

    are you talking to me? :lol:
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    (Original post by BodyOfZeus)
    keep banging.
    Lol. No, we haven't "banged" yet.

    (Original post by loveleest)
    She still likes her ex obviously but sees no point in getting back with him as he lives in a different country.
    If her liking her ex gets to you, then it is best for you to just forget about it tbh.
    But if someone told you that they still had love for someone else, I am sure it would "get to you" as well?
 
 
 
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