The Student Room Group

Give birth or Terminate?

Poll

What would do you if you or your partner became pregnant?

okay girls, well u lads aswell;

what would you do if it happened to youself or your girlfriend?

im talking about if the pregnancy was unplanned, would you carry on studying untill you give birth or terminate it to carry on.

views and personal experiences appreciated

and just to confirm in not pregnant, i was just curious as a lot of me n my boyfriend's friends are pregnant!

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Reply 1

I think you might get a bit of flak here for using the term 'get rid' :eek2:

Personally, I'd have an abortion if I were to get pregnant at this age. Mind you that's easy for me to say; being single I don't have to worry :rolleyes:

EDIT: A poll on this would be quite interesting actually.

Reply 2

Abort!
Well that's what I say now...it I was actually pregnant it may be a different story but I'm way too young!

Reply 3

Obviously keeping it is the right decision, and then put it up for adoption, i don't think anyone has the right to kill any life to benefit another.

Reply 4

terminate it with extreme predujice, and dont look back

Reply 5

Honestly if I was the boyfriend, I don't think I'd want her to get an abortion. But I might have to accept that it is the best course of action.

Reply 6

I don't think you can know for sure what you would do until you find yourself in the situation yourself.

Just a side-note here. This is an interesting topic, so let's have a sensible discussion about this :smile: Do people want me to add a poll? How about the options: 'Give birth', 'Terminate the pregnancy' and 'Not sure'? Any other suggestions?

Reply 7

fleur de lis
I don't think you can know for sure what you would do until you find yourself in the situation yourself.

Just a side-note here. This is an interesting topic, so let's have a sensible discussion about this :smile: Do people want me to add a poll? How about the options: 'Give birth', 'Terminate the pregnancy' and 'Not sure'? Any other suggestions?


How about options to include whether or not they're in a stable relationship? :smile:

Reply 8

circumstance dependant really. if its not right for you now then dont have it.

Reply 9

fleur de lis
I don't think you can know for sure what you would do until you find yourself in the situation yourself.

Just a side-note here. This is an interesting topic, so let's have a sensible discussion about this :smile: Do people want me to add a poll? How about the options: 'Give birth', 'Terminate the pregnancy' and 'Not sure'? Any other suggestions?

or a give birth but give up?

Reply 10

I'm about to graduate, but if I had at least another year left...

In all honesty, I'm not sure the fact I would be studying, would be the most relevant point. As much as we love each other, I really don't think my boyfriend and I are in 'that place' just yet. Marriage is one thing - it's a commitment to each other. Babies? That's something completely different. It's a commitment to each other AND to a whole other person. I just don't think we've had enough time to each other to be ready to welcome another person into our private life together.

Plus, neither of us actually want children ever. :rolleyes:

I think it's hard to predict how you'll react unless you face the situation yourself. But I personally don't think I could carry a child to term and give it away, so I think we'd probably be considering termination as our number one option. It would be horrible - but we'd support each other.

Reply 11

If the baby was not planned and the parents are not ready for a child, abortion is you answer.

Reply 12

I'd have the baby without a doubt. I always used to think that I would have an abortion, but after actually being pregnant, I totally changed my mind.

Reply 13

bunthulhu
I think you might get a bit of flak here for using the term 'get rid' :eek2:



lol, that's my cue!


Seriously, get rid? What a horrible term to use. I'm not even a big fan of the word abortion, I prefer termination. But get rid, that's just horrid.

Reply 14

Keep it. I'm not 100% anti-abortion, but it should never be used for the purposes of furthering one's own career or qualifications.

Reply 15

I've always been convinced in that situation I would infact keep the baby, just put all my studies on hold and have the child. After recent events, I don't know. Last week I managed to get myself a little worked up, and worried I could be pregnant. Which is completely irrational since imy boyfriend and I always have safe sex using the pill and condoms. It was irrational and I knew it, but for some reason that thought wouldn't go away. I thought about what I would do in that situation, and I think the worry of it made it sound like having an abortion would be a good idea. I know now i'm not pregnant and feel embarrassed about my irrational behaviour, but it scared me a little that at that point in time I would be quite willing to do it.

I had been so sure that I would keep a baby if I was to become pregnant, and part of me still believes that I would do if I had my pregnancy confirmed. It's just funny how things change when you get yourself into a situation like that, or an imaginary situation like that :p: Truth is, I have no idea what I would do. I would deal with it at the time. I don't think having an abortion would be something I would completely forgive myself for but now, I see that in some cases it could well be the right decision. I'm not so sure of myself anymore, until you're there you just don't know. I wont believe that if someone says "I'd never do that", that's what they really will do, but I will believe that that's what they think they will do.

I just realised that i've not mentioned my boyfriend in this. He's the same as me, he wants a family and he wants us to be together. He sort of prides himself as being someone who would face up to his responsibilities. I think though, in reality, he wouldn't know what to do but any decision made would be made between us both. His family would disapprove greatly of a pregnancy, my family not so much. I don't think it would sway his decision though, well I would hope not. I'm not saying we are ready for a such a huge commitment but, if he wanted the baby then I would like him to tell me so rather than instantly take his family's side.

Reply 16

shona
I'm about to graduate, but if I had at least another year left...

In all honesty, I'm not sure the fact I would be studying, would be the most relevant point. As much as we love each other, I really don't think my boyfriend and I are in 'that place' just yet. Marriage is one thing - it's a commitment to each other. Babies? That's something completely different. It's a commitment to each other AND to a whole other person. I just don't think we've had enough time to each other to be ready to welcome another person into our private life together.


Nicely said. That's exactly how the whole issue should be addressed I think.
If it happened to me though, even though logically a termination is the best solution, I don't think I'd have the heart to be honest. All that "it could be a person" mumbo jumbo. I'd just end up asking what-if for I don't know how long.
I think I'd want to have it, then put it up for adoption, give it it's best opportunity for life, and, the opportunity to those less fortunate of having a child, being unable to conceive.
I'd still want contact though. Be a part of the child's life.

Saying all this though, I've heard so many stories with the same attitude, who've had the baby and just can't give it away!! So, I guess like everyone's said, you don't know till it's happened.

Oh, and yeah, I reckon a poll's a good idea, but adding in the adoption choice. :smile:

Becca <3.

Reply 17

Im not too sure, i've recently been in the situation where i thought i could be pregnant and had to think about what i would do if i was. I would have wanted to keep it but due to me wanting a degree, not being with my partner and still living at home i guess i would have probably had a termination although it wouldnt have been an easy decision to make.

The thing about adoption (which i think is a lovely idea) is you have to go through the whole pregnancy and everyone knowing you're pregnant and then not having a baby at the end of it. I also dont know if i could give up my child to someone else, i'd always be wondering what they were doing and where they were etc.

Reply 18

Beckifoxall
okay girls, well u lads aswell;

what would you do if it happened to youself or your girlfriend?

im talking about if the pregnancy was unplanned, would you carry on studying untill you give birth or terminate it to carry on.

views and personal experiences appreciated

and just to confirm in not pregnant, i was just curious as a lot of me n my boyfriend's friends are pregnant!

Get rid of it and live life freely. Kids are for people who had lived their life quite a bit already (like late 20s onwards).

Reply 19

I was always very anti-abortion, 'you got yourself into the situation, it isn't the baby's fault &c and so forth' until I fell pregnant myself at 17. Then when I looked at the big picture, rubbish boyfriend, hopes to go to uni and things like that, I realised that an abortion was my answer. And I've never regretted that decision.
I truly think you have to be in the situation before you can say what you would really do.