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Can you ever get over years worth of bullying? Watch

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    I was bullied from the ages of 9-16. When I was younger, in primary school, and it first started it didn't really bother me that much, but at secondary school it did.

    I changed schools half way through secondary school but people at the school I changed to knew a load of people at my new school and thus the bullying continued.

    I had an absolutely horrible time and I can never remember being happy. I refused to go to school a lot and never went out anywhere at the weekender after school. I have no happy memories and I never hit any of the normal mile stones that people hit at the normal time as I was socially isolated with only ever having a couple of friends at best.
    On top of this things were always horrendous at home and I was bullied there too. I was literally being constantly bullied and put down wherever I went.

    At sixth form the bullying stopped but I was still socially isolated. I decided to focus on my studies and I did achieve good a level results and got in to a good university.

    By the time I got to university my appearance had improved and I began to go out a lot, like clubbing 5 times a week (making up for years of social exclusion)

    I also began to receive a fair amount of male attention, and as I had low self esteem would sleep around a fair bit. However, even though I was falling behind with my studies, first term at uni is the only time in my whole lifetime i actually felt like a happy, normal person

    Then my hair fell out and I could feel my whole world falling apart. A few month later (now) and i have a lovely, realistic looking wig which looks better than my own hair did but the trauma of having lost my hair has taken its toll. I'm now so behind with my studies im going to have to start again in September on a different course (but hopefully at the same uni)

    Although my future could still be potentially positive, i will always have low self esteem and I know this is going to really affect me. I will always hate myself.

    I think I was bullied because I had horrendous skin, like severe acne, and didn't know how to cover it properly so people said I looked like I was on meth. I've also always had problems with my hair falling out, as well as being socially awkward.
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    Hi,

    That must really difficult. I find it difficult to stop dwelling on the past and bad experiences I've had, more in terms of my Mum being unwell, growing up around that, losing her and various other things. I'm socially awkward, have low self esteem and lack confidence. Recently I've beenwworried about attending large social gatherings I have coming up. I've been trying to simplify things in my head, like thinking, what's the worst that can happen if I get up and dance and get it wrong? (It's something I'm worried about).

    Sometimes I worry I have something wrong with me and contemplate getting support as I fear I may be developing Anxiety. I won't rule it out but won't do it yet. I've been dwelling so much recently it's kept me up at night. I keep thinking about a couple of interviews where interviewers have sat and laughed at me cos my nerves were so bad. Sorry if this is all seeming irrelevant but I want to try help you. I have severe uneven skin tone on a patch of my face but I think I stopped focusing on it when other things arose. I'm stressing over my visible eczema on my hand, neck, back of neck which is ironically caused by stress sometimes. I try to think everybody has something they hate about themselves. try so hard to focus on positives at present. Have you tried writing your feelings down? I'm thinking of writing a list of positives in my life and goals. I used to find that finding and reading positive quotes helpful. Do you confide in friends? What about counselling at uni? Bullies are awful and don't deserve your attention. Hopefully the bullying happened because they were young and stupid, What do you like about your life now and are you aiming to work in a particular sector?

    Are you looking forward to your new course? x
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    Have you seen a counsellor about your low self esteem issues? That would be a good step

    Yes you can get over such things. As a result from things that happened in both my school life and family life my self esteem ended up completely obliterated by the time I reached 16, but with techniques used in CBT and just trying to eliminate negative thinking patterns I have managed to overcome most of my self esteem issues - it's certainly doable, it just takes a long time.

    You need to challenge any negative thoughts about yourself, e.g. if you start thinking "no-one likes me" then challenge it or imagine that it was a child/friend saying a statement, and what you'd tell them instead.

    You are your own worst critic.
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    (Original post by lachachacha)
    I was bullied from the ages of 9-16. When I was younger, in primary school, and it first started it didn't really bother me that much, but at secondary school it did.

    I changed schools half way through secondary school but people at the school I changed to knew a load of people at my new school and thus the bullying continued.

    I had an absolutely horrible time and I can never remember being happy. I refused to go to school a lot and never went out anywhere at the weekender after school. I have no happy memories and I never hit any of the normal mile stones that people hit at the normal time as I was socially isolated with only ever having a couple of friends at best.
    On top of this things were always horrendous at home and I was bullied there too. I was literally being constantly bullied and put down wherever I went.

    At sixth form the bullying stopped but I was still socially isolated. I decided to focus on my studies and I did achieve good a level results and got in to a good university.

    By the time I got to university my appearance had improved and I began to go out a lot, like clubbing 5 times a week (making up for years of social exclusion)

    I also began to receive a fair amount of male attention, and as I had low self esteem would sleep around a fair bit. However, even though I was falling behind with my studies, first term at uni is the only time in my whole lifetime i actually felt like a happy, normal person

    Then my hair fell out and I could feel my whole world falling apart. A few month later (now) and i have a lovely, realistic looking wig which looks better than my own hair did but the trauma of having lost my hair has taken its toll. I'm now so behind with my studies im going to have to start again in September on a different course (but hopefully at the same uni)

    Although my future could still be potentially positive, i will always have low self esteem and I know this is going to really affect me. I will always hate myself.

    I think I was bullied because I had horrendous skin, like severe acne, and didn't know how to cover it properly so people said I looked like I was on meth. I've also always had problems with my hair falling out, as well as being socially awkward.
    Hi lovely. I was also bullied from the age of 9, but it ended at 14. I had to go to counselling sessions due to it having a long term effect on my mental health. To this day I'm still not over it. I have trust issues when making new friends, but luckily for me my friends at sixth form are amazing.

    But that doesn't mean YOU can't get over it though. You've obviously got a bright future ahead of you. You've already worked so hard, you're at uni and you seem like a nice person.

    Don't forget, most people are bullied because of jealousy. I was bullied because I have both parents in my life and they were jealous of the amount of stability I had.

    Just remember, you're an amazing person. Please don't let the haters get you down. I'm always here if you need to talk x

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    I bet ur pretty, ur already at uni there's no point looking back, look towards the future...I know i shouldn't be saying this but I'll say it anyway. I felt isolated and alone and depressed at college. My and my friends went out and I wa still feeling low, he gave me some acid and from the day my life changed. I don't know what happened but I've gotten more social, have good caring friends, I don't know, I just have an open mind and I will never forget that day. Not saying you should do drugs but that's just my personal experience.
 
 
 
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