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Should I end it? Or carry on and just try to have fun? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I'm in need for some advice!

    Short version

    Have been dating a girl. Things were great at the start. Now everything has died down. Didn't care about her flaws at the start. Now they're bothering me - her past, her behaviour, and her life ambition get to me. I'm not sure if she is still into me. I'm scared of leaving her as she is my first proper girlfriend, and don't want to hurt her. I've met some of her family and friends. However, her lack of affection is affecting me a lot. We've made plans for the future - should I carry it on and try to have have fun? Or end it? Ending it will be very difficult to do. What would be the best way to end it?

    Long version

    Have been dating this girl for 7 weeks, but we have spent a lot of time together, I am talking full 16 hour days.

    At the start we were both all over each other, hanging out till late, messaging each other a lot. We both pointed out our flaws, but it didn't matter. We were both new to each other it was exciting - thrilling.

    Now the excitement has died down, she has temporarily moved in with her brother (a little bit of distance from me) as she is currently unemployed, and the messaging has died down from her side, and I don't hear as much from her.

    I've also started to notice the flaws that she has. There are some things that really bother me about her past, her behaviour (some of her language is quite prejudiced - she doesn't even realise), and her general life ambition bothers me. She is really loose when we go to social events, at one point, someone has even said to me - 'is she really here with you? What is she doing?'

    A lot of the time I wonder if we are on the same page. Initially when we were meeting she was quite intoxicated. She seems really different when she is sober.

    Now, I'm not even sure if she is that much into me as the affection has died down, her mood is low as she is unemployed and living with her brother. It is starting to affect my life and work. I've been really nice to her, and she has said I'm the nicest guy she has been with. So she probably doesn't know how I feel.

    Logically if there was no emotion involved I would probably leave her. But I've met her friends, some of her family, and we've planned things together. She is my first proper girlfriend, so it makes it difficult, but a few have hinted I could do better. Others have just told me to have fun and gain experience with being with someone, but I'm no longer having fun.

    What should I do? What would be the best way to end it?

    It doesn't sound like you're happy with her... You don't want to leave her because you don't want to hurt her and because you've met her family and friends? You're gonna leave her at some point if you think that. The sooner the better, it's still new, she's gonna be hurt even more if you wait to much.

    I would continue.

    Leave her. Whats the point of being in an unhappy relationship? Relationships are meant to be fun not dark and gloomy. Its affecting ur life as well.
    Also just like someone said shes gonna be even more hurt if u wait for a few months instead of leaving her now since the relationship isnt that far in!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2

    (Original post by M14B)
    I would continue.
    You're in the minority. Why do you think that?

    Rule of thumb, if the solution is easy... it's probably wrong

    Like you said, she's your first girl, not your last. End it before you end up resenting her for wasting your time, it'll hurt more in the long run if you don't
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