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    I went out with someone for a year, and broke up with him just before Christmas. He had a short temper and gave me a month of hell before I snapped back, and we continued to argue for two months after that - so a REALLY awful break up. I gave him leeway initially because he was upset, but it went on too long, and he said some really nasty things.

    Anyway, he had a group of friends before we were together, and once we were an item I would go to parties with them etc. and we all became good friends. In the break-up, I said I would back off from them, because it was my choice to leave my ex.

    However, his initial month of brutal hatred led to me turning to these friends for extra support, especially since I have anxiety problems and was having panic attacks at this point. My ex flipped out about this, and rejected the friends for a brief period. He said I had stolen them from him.

    Time went on, and ultimately we switched back. I don't talk to my ex, and he is part of that friendship group again.

    The controversy is... the friends have INTENTIONALLY planned a party to clash with his birthday party, and invited me instead :/ I feel awful. Do I go? Do I talk to my ex and apologise? They seem annoyed with him on my behalf
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    Imo your ex is a bully, immature and unstable.

    This will cause trouble because he will blame you for being humiliated.
    I hate backing down from anything, but talk to a few of the organisers and say you are very touched they have invited you, but if you attend then ex will cause you trouble,. He is going to be very angry anyway and they know him, so if they dont mind you won attend this one and he will still get the message that the friends arent happy with him. If they have a party after, then you will be happy to attend as he probably wont be part of their group after.

    Dont feel awful its not your fault.
    Dont talk to him and you have nothing to apologise for its between him and his friends.
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    (Original post by Ezme39)
    I went out with someone for a year, and broke up with him just before Christmas. He had a short temper and gave me a month of hell before I snapped back, and we continued to argue for two months after that - so a REALLY awful break up. I gave him leeway initially because he was upset, but it went on too long, and he said some really nasty things.

    Anyway, he had a group of friends before we were together, and once we were an item I would go to parties with them etc. and we all became good friends. In the break-up, I said I would back off from them, because it was my choice to leave my ex.

    However, his initial month of brutal hatred led to me turning to these friends for extra support, especially since I have anxiety problems and was having panic attacks at this point. My ex flipped out about this, and rejected the friends for a brief period. He said I had stolen them from him.

    Time went on, and ultimately we switched back. I don't talk to my ex, and he is part of that friendship group again.

    The controversy is... the friends have INTENTIONALLY planned a party to clash with his birthday party, and invited me instead :/ I feel awful. Do I go? Do I talk to my ex and apologise? They seem annoyed with him on my behalf
    Why are you even entertaining the idea of apologising to him, he is a bully and a horrible person, I would go and forget him.
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    He seems really nasty, so no. Forget him and move on. It's not your problem if your friends are annoyed with him. Also, what's the issue with going to a party with your friends? No need to apologise for that.

    Cut him out completely. He's not worth it.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    He seems really nasty, so no. Forget him and move on. It's not your problem if your friends are annoyed with him. Also, what's the issue with going to a party with your friends? No need to apologise for that.

    Cut him out completely. He's not worth it.
    There is zero need for the OP to apologise, but the ex is not a pleasant peson, he sounds like an immature aggressive bully. He will get it into his head the ex humiliated him or played some role in the party. I would normally say go, but in this case to cut him off from that excuse by not oing it is then bewteen the the friends and her ex. The x has a track record of bullying harassment I just think its sensible to aboid that for the sake of a party on this date. the OP knows him and can imagine how he will react.
 
 
 
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