This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Get your personal statement reviewed by a TSR PS reviewer before you submit
- ucas character count
- Applying to Bristol for Law
- Law Personal Statement Advice
- Is this a waste of time?
- uni of bath asking for additional personal statement
- Should I drop an A level?
- Personal statement
- Engineering personal statement
- need help with personal statement! applying for medicine
- Service to rate your personal statement?
- can anyone help me with my personal statement for econ bsc?
- OK to mention extracurriculars in opening of PS? (for oxbridge)
- AI personal statement=plagiarism?
- Clearing and applying for a different course
- Personal Statements
- Writing an English Lit personal statement
- Cutting content in my personal statement
- how to better my university application
- My head girl application
Advice/thoughts on my draft PS (History) wanted
I need to do a draft PS for tomorrow, and was struggling to convey why I want to study the subject so much. I found the start to be fairly difficult, which is all I have so far. Please let me know what you think, and if you have any recommendations etc..
"My strong desire to study History at university is largely born out of my recognition of the responsibility upon the shoulders of those who create it. The act of translating past events into what we know as “History” has been carried out with varying intentions throughout time; whether it be a genuine attempt at creating a resource from which we can draw modern day comparisons or a political tool used to dismiss possibly insurgent memories from the thoughts of a whole continent. It is this contrasting spectrum of functions that attracts me as well as the paradoxical nature of History itself; whilst it is powerful enough to create and perpetuate widely held emotions and beliefs, it is also, in my opinion, fragile enough to be held at the mercy of the historians who discover and in turn, manipulate it."
"My strong desire to study History at university is largely born out of my recognition of the responsibility upon the shoulders of those who create it. The act of translating past events into what we know as “History” has been carried out with varying intentions throughout time; whether it be a genuine attempt at creating a resource from which we can draw modern day comparisons or a political tool used to dismiss possibly insurgent memories from the thoughts of a whole continent. It is this contrasting spectrum of functions that attracts me as well as the paradoxical nature of History itself; whilst it is powerful enough to create and perpetuate widely held emotions and beliefs, it is also, in my opinion, fragile enough to be held at the mercy of the historians who discover and in turn, manipulate it."
Tonight Matthew
I need to do a draft PS for tomorrow, and was struggling to convey why I want to study the subject so much. I found the start to be fairly difficult, which is all I have so far. Please let me know what you think, and if you have any recommendations etc..
"My strong desire to study History at university is largely born out of my recognition of the responsibility upon the shoulders of those who create it. The act of translating past events into what we know as “History” has been carried out with varying intentions throughout time; whether it be a genuine attempt at creating a resource from which we can draw modern day comparisons or a political tool used to dismiss possibly insurgent memories from the thoughts of a whole continent. It is this contrasting spectrum of functions that attracts me as well as the paradoxical nature of History itself; whilst it is powerful enough to create and perpetuate widely held emotions and beliefs, it is also, in my opinion, fragile enough to be held at the mercy of the historians who discover and in turn, manipulate it."
"My strong desire to study History at university is largely born out of my recognition of the responsibility upon the shoulders of those who create it. The act of translating past events into what we know as “History” has been carried out with varying intentions throughout time; whether it be a genuine attempt at creating a resource from which we can draw modern day comparisons or a political tool used to dismiss possibly insurgent memories from the thoughts of a whole continent. It is this contrasting spectrum of functions that attracts me as well as the paradoxical nature of History itself; whilst it is powerful enough to create and perpetuate widely held emotions and beliefs, it is also, in my opinion, fragile enough to be held at the mercy of the historians who discover and in turn, manipulate it."
You've got the wrong focus. The purpose of the PS is to show that you would be a good History student, not that you really like history. The latter point is merely a means to an end; waxing lyrical about the wonders of the course is therefore a waste of words you can ill afford. At the Oxford Open Day, opinions between tutors were split: some said they'd recommned no explanation at all of why you like history; the others said one or two pertinent comments are helpful. However, an entire paragraph is far, far too much. Secondly, you must tie everything down to your own application far more firmly; in that entire paragraph there is not one mention of something specific you've studied, read, done, written, or even enjoyed. Never lose sight of the fact you are trying to prove that YOU are a good candidate for this course.
NB: Don't worry that I've been rather critical - I remember showing my first PS draft to a teacher (during September!) and she talked a bit about it, before saying "start again".
OK thanks. I am glad you're being critical, that is the only reason I posted it.
www.studential.com has lots of good stuff on it, including my opinion at: http://www.studential.com/articles/personal_statement_game.htm
Wow, contradictory 
"They don’t work at university to be admissions officers, they work there because they love their subject. So if you want to appeal to them, stop talking about you and start speaking their language; talk about their subject."
That's what I was doing until H&E slaughtered me
"They don’t work at university to be admissions officers, they work there because they love their subject. So if you want to appeal to them, stop talking about you and start speaking their language; talk about their subject."
That's what I was doing until H&E slaughtered me
no, it isnt contradictory. In the snippet you gave you were talking about yourself. Count the number of times you used the word "my". Not once does it appear in my first paragraph. To make you seem like a good history student, i agree with the above suggestion that you need to think of something SPECIFIC, like i suggest in my article. Pick something specific, and stop using the word "me", or "my" or "I", those all come later in the statement when you talk about yourself. TALK ABOUT THeIR SUBJECT - BUT TALK ABOUT SOMETHING SPECIFIC, NOT VagUE RAMBLING. That's what you've been doing - you're talking about history as a whole, it doesnt need to be done, pick soething specific!
Related discussions
- Get your personal statement reviewed by a TSR PS reviewer before you submit
- ucas character count
- Applying to Bristol for Law
- Law Personal Statement Advice
- Is this a waste of time?
- uni of bath asking for additional personal statement
- Should I drop an A level?
- Personal statement
- Engineering personal statement
- need help with personal statement! applying for medicine
- Service to rate your personal statement?
- can anyone help me with my personal statement for econ bsc?
- OK to mention extracurriculars in opening of PS? (for oxbridge)
- AI personal statement=plagiarism?
- Clearing and applying for a different course
- Personal Statements
- Writing an English Lit personal statement
- Cutting content in my personal statement
- how to better my university application
- My head girl application
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 day ago
If you used Clearing in 2024, how did you find it?Last reply 5 days ago
UCAS Applications + Uni Applicant Thread Directory for 2025 **Official Thread**Last reply 1 week ago
Should I take a gap year to do A Level Maths - I need some advice.Last reply 1 month ago
How do universities know that you sat the TMUALast reply 1 month ago
Daughter about to start Uni, now thinking she's not ready and maybe skipping a year!Last reply 1 month ago
Last minute, should I pull out of university this year?Last reply 1 month ago
Clearing for politics and international relationsLast reply 1 month ago
Official University Offer Holder thread list (2024 entry)
