Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    ^^^
    Online

    18
    ReputationRep:
    A few things:

    1. What you see on facebook and the 'mad uni life' that you seem like you think most people have is really not representative. Lots of people don't have this experience, others end up with more people round as a one off for a birthday or something and then you see that as their 'norm'. Don't feel like you're the only one not having this.

    2. You're a long way off being 'too late' to grow your circle of friends. Making some friends from societies and off your course is still an easy thing. People are also generally friendly at uni so if you want to invite people round for pizza and beer you can do still without looking like a weirdo and it doesn't take too long to integrate yourself with a group if you are open and friendly. If you feel like your friends aren't offering everything you want, keep them cos they sound nice but you can find another circle through the things above too.

    3. You're right to be thankful for not having a problem flatmate!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by doodle_333)
    A few things:

    1. What you see on facebook and the 'mad uni life' that you seem like you think most people have is really not representative. Lots of people don't have this experience, others end up with more people round as a one off for a birthday or something and then you see that as their 'norm'. Don't feel like you're the only one not having this.

    2. You're a long way off being 'too late' to grow your circle of friends. Making some friends from societies and off your course is still an easy thing. People are also generally friendly at uni so if you want to invite people round for pizza and beer you can do still without looking like a weirdo and it doesn't take too long to integrate yourself with a group if you are open and friendly. If you feel like your friends aren't offering everything you want, keep them cos they sound nice but you can find another circle through the things above too.

    3. You're right to be thankful for not having a problem flatmate!
    Thank you this really boosted my attitude towards uni - I felt like I'd missed out but I never even thought about your first point which is most probably the case
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, the media don't really talk about the quiet periods between the liveliness, do they? :P But to be honest, it'd be ridiculous to be wild all the time, and you'd probably get sick of it sooner than you'd think, right?
    And hey, there's nothing stopping you from getting out there and seeing what's going on, right? Sometimes I'll go walking around campus if I'm bored and see if anyone I know is doing anything exciting. I've had some good nights out through that method.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Gauntlets28)
    Yeah, the media don't really talk about the quiet periods between the liveliness, do they? :P But to be honest, it'd be ridiculous to be wild all the time, and you'd probably get sick of it sooner than you'd think, right?
    And hey, there's nothing stopping you from getting out there and seeing what's going on, right? Sometimes I'll go walking around campus if I'm bored and see if anyone I know is doing anything exciting. I've had some good nights out through that method.
    I know haha, I turned up expecting it to be really mad! Although when I have been to visit friends their experience seems to be the more typical one. You're right though, it would get really tiring. That's a good idea, I'm probably not outgoing enough for that though I wish I was haha
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    What you're describing is really pretty normal. And I bet if other people looked at your Facebook, the stuff you have on there probably looks different to your day-to-day life, because the stuff that ends up on there tends to be the more notable bits, not so much the 'this is me reading a book and drinking cocoa' moments.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I'm starting university in 2017, my biggest concern is that things will end up like this. I currently don't have any close friends so I would love to be more involved and less socially isolated in uni. I know it's what you make of it and all but does anyone have any tips to maximise this? I know there are things like joining societies you're interested in to meet new people which is commonly mentioned, by any other ideas? Obviously it's never going to be like you're having massive parties every night until 4am, but it would be nice to have an active social life and close/'best' friend(s).
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by william91919)
    I'm starting university in 2017, my biggest concern is that things will end up like this. I currently don't have any close friends so I would love to be more involved and less socially isolated in uni. I know it's what you make of it and all but does anyone have any tips to maximise this? I know there are things like joining societies you're interested in to meet new people which is commonly mentioned, by any other ideas? Obviously it's never going to be like you're having massive parties every night until 4am, but it would be nice to have an active social life and close/'best' friend(s).
    As well as societies, think about sports, volunteering, part-time jobs - stuff that gives you something to do, with other people. Don't be surprised if you don't instantly make friends for life with people - it takes a while to find the people you really click with, and that's OK. The big thing to be aware of with uni is, it's a lot more unstructured in terms of your time, versus school/college. There will be big chunks of time when you don't technically have to be anywhere in particular, and have to figure out for yourself what you want (or need) to do with your time. But, it's also a really good opportunity to try stuff you haven't had the chance to do before, and if you do that you can meet people at the same time. If it feels sort of awkward and boring and lonely to begin with, don't worry - that's actually pretty normal! But, over time, things just start to click into place.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Persipan)
    As well as societies, think about sports, volunteering, part-time jobs - stuff that gives you something to do, with other people. Don't be surprised if you don't instantly make friends for life with people - it takes a while to find the people you really click with, and that's OK. The big thing to be aware of with uni is, it's a lot more unstructured in terms of your time, versus school/college. There will be big chunks of time when you don't technically have to be anywhere in particular, and have to figure out for yourself what you want (or need) to do with your time. But, it's also a really good opportunity to try stuff you haven't had the chance to do before, and if you do that you can meet people at the same time. If it feels sort of awkward and boring and lonely to begin with, don't worry - that's actually pretty normal! But, over time, things just start to click into place.
    Thanks for the advice! That makes a lot of sense
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by william91919)
    I'm starting university in 2017, my biggest concern is that things will end up like this. I currently don't have any close friends so I would love to be more involved and less socially isolated in uni. I know it's what you make of it and all but does anyone have any tips to maximise this? I know there are things like joining societies you're interested in to meet new people which is commonly mentioned, by any other ideas? Obviously it's never going to be like you're having massive parties every night until 4am, but it would be nice to have an active social life and close/'best' friend(s).
    I probably exaggerated a lot in this because I definitely have more close friends at uni than I did at home (and I had a pretty big group of friends at home). I didn't mention the fact that I'm really close with my course friends and spend a lot of time with them so that's one way. Also definitely make the most of freshers - get to know your flat but also those around you, I really really regret not making more effort with people outside my flat. Talk to people on your course, invite them out, same with any clubs/societies. Another way to meet new people is to go out with your flatmates' course friends (if they invite you, which if they don't I'm sure they would if you invite them) - that's how I met a lot of friends at uni and also don't necessarily go for the nicest looking halls as often it's the more basic ones that tend to be livelier (that might just be a stereotype though, there are many exceptions). But most of all don't worry, it's really rare that you won't make friends
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Persipan)
    What you're describing is really pretty normal. And I bet if other people looked at your Facebook, the stuff you have on there probably looks different to your day-to-day life, because the stuff that ends up on there tends to be the more notable bits, not so much the 'this is me reading a book and drinking cocoa' moments.
    Actually that's probably true, a lot of people from home have said to me I always seem to be out and that I look like I'm having a really good time so I'm probably just looking at it negatively!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jjball873)
    I probably exaggerated a lot in this because I definitely have more close friends at uni than I did at home (and I had a pretty big group of friends at home). I didn't mention the fact that I'm really close with my course friends and spend a lot of time with them so that's one way. Also definitely make the most of freshers - get to know your flat but also those around you, I really really regret not making more effort with people outside my flat. Talk to people on your course, invite them out, same with any clubs/societies. Another way to meet new people is to go out with your flatmates' course friends (if they invite you, which if they don't I'm sure they would if you invite them) - that's how I met a lot of friends at uni and also don't necessarily go for the nicest looking halls as often it's the more basic ones that tend to be livelier (that might just be a stereotype though, there are many exceptions). But most of all don't worry, it's really rare that you won't make friends
    Awesome, that sounds great. I definitely want to make the most of freshers week and meet lots of new people. really excited now
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Are unpaid trial work shifts fair?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.