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BF is going to Amsterdam with his friends? Watch

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    So my boyfriend (who is 21) asked me if i would be ok with him going to Amsterdam with his friends for a few days in the summer. I told him it worried me a little (i've been cheated on before by someone else so I'm a little paranoid) but i am cool with him going. He said if i didn't want him to go to please tell him. I have no problem with him going out with friends to have a good time, but it just worries me because we all know what is well known in Amsterdam. He doesn't smoke so i know he's not going to be smoking the weed, I'm just worried he will cheat or go to the RLD or a strip club. Would you be worried? We are serious about each other and i don't think he would do something wrong, but all of his friends are single and if they are all at strip clubs I'm pretty sure he wouldn't just not go with them, would he? What do i do, i want to stop being worried. Have you been to Amsterdam with your friends? Whats it like?
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    Na no reason to be paranoid. He'll only be sightseeing around the red light district.
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    it is unlikely that this group of young gentlemen are going to spend much time admiring the Van Goghs at the Rijksmuseum. they will be enjoying the bars & vibrant night life together. if your relationship is strong then you have nothing to worry about.
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    You should be able to trust him to do his own thing without cheating on you. You can't keep him to yourself all the time! Don't use past experiences with someone else to judge his potential behaviour, if I were you.

    I have been to Amsterdam with friends, it was a hazy experience.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    it is unlikely that this group of young gentlemen are going to spend much time admiring the Van Goghs at the Rijksmuseum. they will be enjoying the bars & vibrant night life together. if your relationship is strong then you have nothing to worry about.
    but after the bars and nightlife, what if they go to strip clubs or the red light district for whatever reason, probably because they're drunk? if he goes to these things, is that cheating?
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    (Original post by aliceronson)
    but after the bars and nightlife, what if they go to strip clubs or the red light district for whatever reason, probably because they're drunk? if he goes to these things, is that cheating?
    all i can say is have a grown up chat with him before he goes. make it clear what he can and can't do if he wishes to keep your relationship going.
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    (Original post by aliceronson)
    but after the bars and nightlife, what if they go to strip clubs or the red light district for whatever reason, probably because they're drunk? if he goes to these things, is that cheating?
    Going to a strip club with your friends is not cheating... having sex with someone else is.

    Take this as a true test of your relationship - if it's strong, you have nothing to worry about.
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    (Original post by *Stefan*)
    Going to a strip club with your friends is not cheating... having sex with someone else is.

    Take this as a true test of your relationship - if it's strong, you have nothing to worry about.
    but if he does do something he shouldn't, the thing is i will probably never find out about it will i? so how will i know if he is worth it, because i agree this is the true test of our relationship. but its unlikely i'll find out about something bad he did if he does it.
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    (Original post by aliceronson)
    but if he does do something he shouldn't, the thing is i will probably never find out about it will i? so how will i know if he is worth it, because i agree this is the true test of our relationship. but its unlikely i'll find out about something bad he did if he does it.
    You don't trust him to tell you? Obviously varies per person, but when someone cheats and doesn't have a reputation to cheat (i.e. "playas", you'd expect them to be clear about it.

    That aside, he asked YOU twice if he can go so his intentions -for the moment at least- are not at all suspicious.
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    Op, without trust there is no relationship. If you genuinely believe he'll cheat on you then why are you with him? If you don't believe he'll cheat on you then what's the issue?

    Sit down with him and have a talk about what you consider to be acceptable and not acceptable. If he loves you, he'll respect your wishes and not do what you consider to be unacceptable.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Op, without trust there is no relationship. If you genuinely believe he'll cheat on you then why are you with him? If you don't believe he'll cheat on you then what's the issue?

    Sit down with him and have a talk about what you consider to be acceptable and not acceptable. If he loves you, he'll respect your wishes and not do what you consider to be unacceptable.
    i don't believe he will cheat, but once you have been cheated on before it's hard to believe that it won't happen again. i believe he is genuine otherwise i would not be with him, but it's difficult when you love someone so much and they are far away drunk and surrounded by prostitutes and strip clubs, and you have no idea what they will do when under the influence of their friends and alcohol. i just wanted to see if Amsterdam is really what people make it out to be.
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    I went to Amsterdam with friends, some single, others with partners.

    We drank quite a bit. Those inclined towards weed smoked a fair share. We walked around the Red Light District, but none of us visited any of the working girls. Overall it was rather tame compared to what I was expecting. If you trust him then there is no reason to worry.
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    (Original post by Swanbow)
    I went to Amsterdam with friends, some single, others with partners.

    We drank quite a bit. Those inclined towards weed smoked a fair share. We walked around the Red Light District, but none of us visited any of the working girls. Overall it was rather tame compared to what I was expecting. If you trust him then there is no reason to worry.
    is there lots of strip clubs and stuff, and did you visit them?
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    (Original post by aliceronson)
    is there lots of strip clubs and stuff, and did you visit them?
    There weren't as many strip clubs as you'd expect, you'll see more in some average American cities. Some of the group went to one, which they said was tame, with only a few topless girls. There are a few peep shows, with live sex and that, but standing outside of one, most people coming in and out considered it a laugh more than anything else.

    Just make it clear you are uncomfortable with him potentially going to these places so he knows about it.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    it is unlikely that this group of young gentlemen are going to spend much time admiring the Van Goghs at the Rijksmuseum. they will be enjoying the bars & vibrant night life together. if your relationship is strong then you have nothing to worry about.
    I would be very worried if someone said they were admiring the Van Goghs at the Rijksmuseum, as they are next door in a separate museum! Mind you, my visit to Amsterdam was not typical as I was studying in Utrecht at the time.
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    (Original post by barnetlad)
    I would be very worried if someone said they were admiring the Van Goghs at the Rijksmuseum, as they are next door in a separate museum! Mind you, my visit to Amsterdam was not typical as I was studying in Utrecht at the time.
    :giggle:... ermm i meant the Ruysdaels

    :rofl:
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    Amsterdam is a beautiful city with plenty of (legitimate) things to see and do.

    That said, what are his friends like?
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    (Original post by TheThiefOfBagdad)
    Amsterdam is a beautiful city with plenty of (legitimate) things to see and do.

    That said, what are his friends like?
    well i think only one of them has a girlfriend. the rest seem pretty decent, with that said i know one of them is quite an avid tinder user. they don't seem like typical 'lads' but at the same time I'm just scared they'll get it on with some other girls they met there and go back to their place or whatever.
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    Tbh his friends are defo going to a strip club and what's he gonna say to that? "Sorry guys, I'm gonna stay in the hotel room."? As long as he doesn't have sex with someone else it's fine imo.
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    (Original post by monk1324)
    Tbh his friends are defo going to a strip club and what's he gonna say to that? "Sorry guys, I'm gonna stay in the hotel room."? As long as he doesn't have sex with someone else it's fine imo.
    he can go to a strip club. just no touching with any of the girls.
 
 
 
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