'es klingt nach Spaß''aber meine Mutter hat mich nicht gelassen'• Ich liebe meine Familie, aber ich kann mehr mit Freunden
zu tun. - you don't need 'zu' here as you're using a modal verb which requires another verb anyway
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Alle meine Ferien haben mit meiner Familie und ich möchte eine Änderung. - this sentence sounds incomplete; "all of my holidays have with my family..."?
Also, if you're trying to say "of my" you need to either use the genitive case or the dative - I believe at GCSE you are taught to use von - so either "Alle von meinen Ferien" or "Alle meiner Ferien" (genitive).
If you're saying that they took place with your family, you could say 'Alle meiner Ferien sind mit meiner Familie passiert'Imbisse is a more "german" word for Snacks, I personally try to avoid using anglicised terms as much as possible, but if you wanna keep with snacks that's fine
'Nach bin ich geschwommen, habe ich Snacks gekaufen' - the first bit doesn't look right. Maybe say 'Nachdem ich geschwommen bin'?And the past participle of kaufen is 'gekauft'In meiner Freizeit, ich habe Buche gelesen und ich habe YouTube gesehen - think about a) whether you need that comma and then b) where the first verb must go. "Seen YouTube" also sounds a bit odd - perhaps Videos
auf YouTube gesehen would be better (help is that the right preposition
@TheOtherSide.)
That looks fine, I think...Also, the plural of books is 'Bücher' Meine Oma verloren ihre Halskette, weil sie vergesslich ist. - verloren is the perfect tense, instead "verlor" is imperfect.
Für Elf Tage lang war sie stöhnen und schreien und macht mich verrückt! - okay I see what you're trying to say here, but I'm not sure if this how you word it. I think with "screaming" and "groaning" in this case, you might have to instead do it in the perfect tense - "hat .... geschrien und gestöhnt" And then macht would be "machte" as I think you're still using past tense.
mit meine Mama, mein Vater und meine Großmutter - remember mit is dative and so mein/meine change.
Wir sind in einem Hotel übernachtet und das ist perfekt weil es gibt WLAN und einen Strand werden. - think about where "gibt" needs to go because of the weil clause.
weil ich will meine Urlaub zu erinnern - think about weil and the verb, and again you don't need zu and will(wollen) is a modal verb.
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I know this is just for speaking but these mistakes will be noticed when you're talking
Apart from that, most of it seems pretty great - you've used 4 different tenses, specific vocab, various cases, complicated structures etc.
Oh also it's Zypern, don't pronounce it Zyp-ren
TheOtherSide come and double check for me please <3