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    For a few years I have had an odd relationship with my brother, whereby we live in the same household but we don't talk... ever. Well, that's not true. Maybe once every couple of months when one of us needs to ask the other a question.

    I think the reason for this is as we were younger, we used to argue and fight quite a lot. In the end, it became more functional for us to both not communicate with eachother entirely, even on family holidays, etc.

    I have never really cared that I don't talk to him, though the reason I am interested now is because I want to become more confident and improve my social skills, and I figured the best place to start would be to amend my relationship with my brother. I am more interested from a psychological perspective what went wrong, and how this can be fixed.

    How can I begin to have a normal relationship with him? Not necessarily as a 'friend' just a level where communication is not completely absent.
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    A bit of it depends on him and where he's at to how responsive he would be. Can you be generally more sociable and just chat with him? Is there anything he likes to do or thing hes interested in, such as hobbies? Is it possible you could do anything like just eat a meal together in or out of the house or do an activity such as going to the cinema without feeling too awkward?

    Presumably hes quite young or a teenager? Teenagers can be complex and he might be in an anti social phase, so he may not be responsive or he may respon positively to you just being socianle? If he isnt dont take it personally but dont overreact or panic. Ask your mum as well maybe your parent(s) can do something with both of you. If you get him to engage he might become less distant and eventually feel more comfy talking to you.

    There is one point there which is respect his boundaries, dont push it too much.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Along-With-Siblings
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    I have exactly the same problem, my brother treats me the same way & we used to fight all the time. It's been like this for years & it's his loss. If he decides not to speak to u then u better care for ur friends they deserve ur love and care than him


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    I really wouldn't bother until you move out and you're both independent because if it goes wrong you'll end up with a really uncomfortable living arrangement. I had the same thing with my sister - both independent now and I have minimal contact to maintain my sanity. Just because you're blood related doesn't mean you're destined to get on or even be anything alike. Make friends at school/college/work etc who you choose to be friends with based on common interests and personality traits - don't just turn to someone who you don't get along with and force a friendship/relationship just because you're lonely or whatever else, it won't work.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    A bit of it depends on him and where he's at to how responsive he would be. Can you be generally more sociable and just chat with him? Is there anything he likes to do or thing hes interested in, such as hobbies? Is it possible you could do anything like just eat a meal together in or out of the house or do an activity such as going to the cinema without feeling too awkward?

    Presumably hes quite young or a teenager? Teenagers can be complex and he might be in an anti social phase, so he may not be responsive or he may respon positively to you just being socianle? If he isnt dont take it personally but dont overreact or panic. Ask your mum as well maybe your parent(s) can do something with both of you. If you get him to engage he might become less distant and eventually feel more comfy talking to you.

    There is one point there which is respect his boundaries, dont push it too much.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Along-With-Siblings
    He is very introverted - rarely even talks with parents, spends most of his time in his room. To be honest I don't even know what hobbies he has, I don't know what he spends time on his laptop doing, other than occasionally playing the guitar.

    I think I would be very uncomfortable asking him randomly to go to the cinema and watch a movie. Overall, I don't think we dislike eachother anymore, we are fairly polite to eachother, though it is just as if we are strangers. I think I would be more comfortable striking up a conversation with a random stranger than him.

    I would never mention this to my parents, I find it awkward to talk about, to be honest.

    Thank you for your advice, and I'll check out the link you posted.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is very introverted - rarely even talks with parents, spends most of his time in his room. To be honest I don't even know what hobbies he has, I don't know what he spends time on his laptop doing, other than occasionally playing the guitar.

    I think I would be very uncomfortable asking him randomly to go to the cinema and watch a movie. Overall, I don't think we dislike eachother anymore, we are fairly polite to eachother, though it is just as if we are strangers. I think I would be more comfortable striking up a conversation with a random stranger than him.

    I would never mention this to my parents, I find it awkward to talk about, to be honest.

    Thank you for your advice, and I'll check out the link you posted.
    This is the challenge you set yourself though. I expect he protects his personal space fiercely. Maybe you cna do sociable things like make him lunch or a drink? Just little things to take baby steps.

    Its not all bad if he talks when he emerges. Hard if he's stuck in his room all the time. maybe you shoudl set another target as well to do with socciability outside or with your parents?

    The other thing id point out is as long as you don fall out badly, then people change over years and you may have a great and close sibling relationship in the future. Teenage years cna be difficcult where you are trying to find your identity and dont wnat people judging you. Be patient and one day it might just change.
 
 
 
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