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Upset my friend didn't wish me a happy birthday Watch

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    It was my 18th birthday yesterday and I got lots of lovely birthday wishes from people, even people I'm not super close to. However, one of my good friends didn't even bother texting me to say happy birthday, even though he knew it was my birthday. He's at home at the moment from uni and his sister, who I'm not as close to, wished me a happy birthday but he didn't. I mean, he even got a Facebook notification about it. Is it stupid to be upset about this? I normally wouldn't care, but we have a bit of a history, which I've explained below. Thoughts??

    (Backstory - you can skip this if you want: I've known my friend for about 4/5 years now - I was best friends with his sister first, and then we got closer so I'm now actually closer to him than I am to his sister. I've liked him for a while (3 years, maybe?) but nothing's ever happened so I just assumed it would never be a thing. Anyways, last summer things progressed and I got the sense that he was finally seeing me in a new light - i.e. not just as a friend. There was a lot of flirting and we spent more time together than we did apart.
    After summer I didn't see him for about 5 months because he went off to uni, but we continued to message each other on a regular basis. I was the one who initially suggested a meet-up, and he agreed so we met up and had a nice chat + food. After that, he asked me out for another meet up type thing, which I agreed to until he cancelled on me at the last minute with pretty much no explanation. Naturally, I was upset but after that, we didn't speak much for a bit. He used to be the main initiator of conversations, but he just didn't bother for a good 3/4 weeks. I then messaged him a few days ago and he was quite cold and not his usual self - I'm not sure what to make of this.)
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    delete his number
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    delete his number
    Really? Why do you think that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really? Why do you think that?
    He is really not a "friend" if he is not going to be bothered to say happy birthday to you even though he clearly knows it is your birthday.

    You can talk to him and ask him why he didn't say Happy Birthday to you if you want but there is no excuse really.
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    Sounds like there's an elephant in the room that needs addressing between you and your friend. Did you talk to him about why he stood you up?

    Also, Happy Birthday! I know it's late but I hope it was decent at the very least.
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    Perhaps he has other things on his mind, money worriesm exam stress or just generally not happy, buys or distracted. get on with things and dont worry too much. You cam ofc thank him for his birthday wishes, which might give him a reminder. Its not something to get upset over imo. On the other side dont put too much hope in the fact you have moved out of the friendzone.
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    Maybe he found someone else at uni and knows you fancy him so he feels awkward talking to you. Or he could just be stressed/busy. Try talking to him again until you figure out the situation

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    The fact that he's been off over the last few days suggests that either there's something on his mind that's been distracting him, or he doesn't really want to continue the friendship. Message him and ask if everything's okay and that you're here for him if he needs to talk. If he's still not interested then forget him and move on.
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    (Original post by Vennec)
    Sounds like there's an elephant in the room that needs addressing between you and your friend. Did you talk to him about why he stood you up?

    Also, Happy Birthday! I know it's late but I hope it was decent at the very least.
    No, he just said that he was suddenly busy, even though he picked that day specifically because he said, and I quote: "I've really not got much going on on Saturday, so it's the best day for me ". That's why I was annoyed, honestly.
    I know I need to talk to him but I just don't know how to start the conversation without sounding like an overthinking psycho :/

    Thank you! I had a really great day, went out with my friends which was really nice

    (Original post by yoda123)
    Maybe he found someone else at uni and knows you fancy him so he feels awkward talking to you. Or he could just be stressed/busy. Try talking to him again until you figure out the situation

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    In the past, he's always told me when he's been into other girls, so wouldn't it be the same now? I'd agree with the busy thing, but he's been on Easter holidays (i.e. back from uni) since early March, so what is he busy doing? I'm not saying that I should be his top priority, but is it really so hard for him to message me even once in his 4 week holiday? :/ Haha, I never thought I would be this girl, I'm normally so chill but this is really pissing me off.
    Yeah, I'll try talking to him - hopefully he'll open up and explain what's going on
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    The fact that he's been off over the last few days suggests that either there's something on his mind that's been distracting him, or he doesn't really want to continue the friendship. Message him and ask if everything's okay and that you're here for him if he needs to talk. If he's still not interested then forget him and move on.
    It'd be annoying if he'd just throw away a 5 year friendship because of basically nothing. If it was something major, I would know, right?? Thanks for the advice though, I do need to talk to him - I'll just struggle with knowing what to say/how to say it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, he just said that he was suddenly busy, even though he picked that day specifically because he said, and I quote: "I've really not got much going on on Saturday, so it's the best day for me ". That's why I was annoyed, honestly.
    I know I need to talk to him but I just don't know how to start the conversation without sounding like an overthinking psycho :/

    Thank you! I had a really great day, went out with my friends which was really nice
    Sometimes things do come up, though. Either go around his house or go out for a cup of coffee and share your concerns. Ask him what happened for him to suddenly cop out of meeting you. It could be that something came up, or perhaps he had sudden doubts and is (still) nervous about you being upset with him now, which is creating more of a distance. If that's the case, try to forgive him and understand. We've all been there at some point in our lives. Just approach it sensitively and encourage him to be honest.

    I'm glad you had a nice day, in any case
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It'd be annoying if he'd just throw away a 5 year friendship because of basically nothing. If it was something major, I would know, right?? Thanks for the advice though, I do need to talk to him - I'll just struggle with knowing what to say/how to say it
    Why would he be throwing it away? he didnt say Happy Birthday, thats it. He could be distracted at the moment. Just ask him if its bothering you that much. You need to be careful he doesnt thnk you are overreacting.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Why would he be throwing it away? he didnt say Happy Birthday, thats it. He could be distracted at the moment. Just ask him if its bothering you that much. You need to be careful he doesnt thnk you are overreacting.
    No, this is because he didn't talk to me for 4 weeks, then was rude and abrupt when I tried to talk to him. The lack of a happy birthday wish was just the icing on the cake.
    (Read the entirety of the OP, it's all there)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, this is because he didn't talk to me for 4 weeks, then was rude and abrupt when I tried to talk to him. The lack of a happy birthday wish was just the icing on the cake.
    (Read the entirety of the OP, it's all there)
    Sorry I did read it but it went in one ear and out the other as I was answering on other threads. I think he's just moved on becayse of going to Uni. Do you know if he has a gf? He probably doesnt fancy a relationship with a person outside Uni because it almost an LDR.

    I just think hes had second thoughts and is busy. Your only choice is to contact him and ask why he seems to be mich cooler about being friends. hHe might tell you the truth he might not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (Backstory - you can skip this if you want: I've known my friend for about 4/5 years now - I was best friends with his sister first, and then we got closer so I'm now actually closer to him than I am to his sister. I've liked him for a while (3 years, maybe?) but nothing's ever happened so I just assumed it would never be a thing. Anyways, last summer things progressed and I got the sense that he was finally seeing me in a new light - i.e. not just as a friend. There was a lot of flirting and we spent more time together than we did apart.
    After summer I didn't see him for about 5 months because he went off to uni, but we continued to message each other on a regular basis. I was the one who initially suggested a meet-up, and he agreed so we met up and had a nice chat + food. After that, he asked me out for another meet up type thing, which I agreed to until he cancelled on me at the last minute with pretty much no explanation. Naturally, I was upset but after that, we didn't speak much for a bit. He used to be the main initiator of conversations, but he just didn't bother for a good 3/4 weeks. I then messaged him a few days ago and he was quite cold and not his usual self - I'm not sure what to make of this.)
    thought you were gay for a second but then found out you were a girl jeez
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    (Original post by TheYearNiner)
    thought you were gay for a second but then found out you were a girl jeez
    Why would it be a problem if I was gay?
    Yes, I'm a girl but why would it be a problem if I was a gay guy?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why would it be a problem if I was gay?
    Yes, I'm a girl but why would it be a problem if I was a gay guy?
    I didn't say it would be a problem :youbetcha:
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    (Original post by TheYearNiner)
    I didn't say it would be a problem :youbetcha:
    Just checking - ain't nobody got time for homophobes
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    Aw happy birthday for yesterday, it was my birthday too!

    Personally, I'd go as far as delete his number. But before doing that, I'd send a message explaining why I'm angry in the first place and then go ahead and just get rid of him to have a clear sense of mind.

    You're not being childish at all for being upset by this because, after all, he is meant to be one of your closest friends and your 18th is a pretty big thing that you'd want to spend with your close friends and family.
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    Eventually when you grow older birthdays become the last things that would be on your mind. Non of my close friends know when my birthday is nor say happy birthday (its in a few days now and I have a feeling they all forgot this time after telling them, but my teacher baked me some birthday muffins a few days ago ).

    Its always best to see each other and talk about it like adults, than to cause pointless conflict.
 
 
 
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