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Girlfriend has issues with me having a girl as a best friend Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been dating a girl for about a year now, she is a beautiful nice girl with lots in common, we do a lot things together.

    I have a few different group of friends, old childhood friends, work and uni friends. I have more female friends than I do male but most of my best friends are male that's I've known for years. She's fine with them and she has met them a few times on nights out.

    I have another friend, a girl that I met at uni I known for about 3 years. We are best friends, there was never anything between us other than hanging out. She always had my back, a very reliable girl. We talked about men and women problems when I was at uni. We also lived together in halls so we saw a lot of each other in that time.

    Now I'm living in my hometown and she's living in my uni town, so I don't see much of her anymore. I have met her since but it's always me going back up there as I have other friends to see as well but she said she would like come see me.

    I told my girlfriend that she's coming down to see me. She's being very funny about it, doesn't want me to see her. She thinks I'm having sex with her which isn't the case what so ever but can't get through to her. She's also asked me to take down photos of me and her on Facebook, mainly of us drinking mucking about. I'm refusing because it's just friends hanging out and I'm not being out of order to my friend just because she's a girl. If it was a ex girlfriend then I would see the problem but think it's uncalled for.

    My friend would also like to meet my girlfriend. I've told her why she can't because it might cause issues. I understand they're both being protective over me, friend doesn't want be treated badly by a girl, looks out for me that way. My girlfriend on the other hand looks after me when I'm drunk, sick and that, does things for me. So consider my girlfriend as friend too, if you get where I'm coming from. It's just very awkward for me.

    I don't usually use forums like this but I would really appreciate it if could give me some advice. So both are happy and stop fighting over me because it's ruining a good relationship and friendship.
    • #2
    #2

    Tell her to get a grip or get out.
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    She's just a bit insecure, as long as she isn't being nasty she just needs some assurances about your relationship. It's amazing how many people on here will tell you to tell her to get a grip, how does that help? It clearly bothers and upsets her so don't ignore her, don't shout at her, just to talk to her.
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    (Original post by Charles_2nd)
    She's just a bit insecure, as long as she isn't being nasty she just needs some assurances about your relationship. It's amazing how many people on here will tell you to tell her to get a grip, how does that help? It clearly bothers and upsets her so don't ignore her, don't shout at her, just to talk to her.
    this :yes:
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    You should get them to meet eachother, and have your friend reassure your girlfriend that she's not out to ruin your relationship, get them on friendly terms so they won't want to spite each other. It's a long shot, but she'll always wonder her intentions otherwise.
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    I think it would be a very good idea if your best friend and your girlfriend meet. when they meet your girlfriend can meet her and maybe be friends if things go well... what I'm trying to say is that the two of them should meet and settle things. both the girls care about you as a best friend and a girlfriend. it wont be fair on one of the girls if you push one away and/or delete memories you've had.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been dating a girl for about a year now, she is a beautiful nice girl with lots in common, we do a lot things together.

    I have a few different group of friends, old childhood friends, work and uni friends. I have more female friends than I do male but most of my best friends are male that's I've known for years. She's fine with them and she has met them a few times on nights out.

    I have another friend, a girl that I met at uni I known for about 3 years. We are best friends, there was never anything between us other than hanging out. She always had my back, a very reliable girl. We talked about men and women problems when I was at uni. We also lived together in halls so we saw a lot of each other in that time.

    Now I'm living in my hometown and she's living in my uni town, so I don't see much of her anymore. I have met her since but it's always me going back up there as I have other friends to see as well but she said she would like come see me.

    I told my girlfriend that she's coming down to see me. She's being very funny about it, doesn't want me to see her. She thinks I'm having sex with her which isn't the case what so ever but can't get through to her. She's also asked me to take down photos of me and her on Facebook, mainly of us drinking mucking about. I'm refusing because it's just friends hanging out and I'm not being out of order to my friend just because she's a girl. If it was a ex girlfriend then I would see the problem but think it's uncalled for.

    My friend would also like to meet my girlfriend. I've told her why she can't because it might cause issues. I understand they're both being protective over me, friend doesn't want be treated badly by a girl, looks out for me that way. My girlfriend on the other hand looks after me when I'm drunk, sick and that, does things for me. So consider my girlfriend as friend too, if you get where I'm coming from. It's just very awkward for me.

    I don't usually use forums like this but I would really appreciate it if could give me some advice. So both are happy and stop fighting over me because it's ruining a good relationship and friendship.
    Tbh, as a girl when you don't see much of the person you love its gunna suck. I think the fact that because maybe she didn't see much of you when you were at uni, but you were posting pictures of you both on Facebook that something might of happened because she wasn't around (dw a lot of girls do that). The fact that you're friends and obviously like her, maybe because she sees it as competition or maybe she's had past experiences when her or her friends have been friends with someone and stuff happens (I don't know about her but hey ho)

    I think that if your girlfriend really loves you and trusts you then meeting the friend will be a good thing - they might even be friends in the long term! But when a girl talks to another girl about spending time with said girls boyfriend it can make things awkward and end in conflict. At the end of the day she might be jealous that you have such a good relationship with this other girl, and thats hard because she cares about you n doesn't want to loose you etc so at the end of the day, when she realises that you love her and stuff it'll all be fine. It is always suspicious though if you message her or meet up with her without letting said girlfriend know, so maybe go out with a group of friends and her, or take said girlfriend out and make her feel loved and all that lovey dovey stuff couples do!

    do not worry she will get over it, just give them space
    • #3
    #3

    it's a tough situation, your girlfriend needs to trust you more, isn't that really important in a relationship? at the end of the day you have to think about what matters to you the most, you might be forced to make a hard decision. but you can still try to get out of this safely. Try doing things that will reassure your girlfriend that she's the only girl you can love that way, she is probably being irrational due to some insecurities. Maybe it's your friend she doesn't trust, so she's feeling uneasy. You can lock them both in a room to let them sort it out on their own (hopefully no one ends up dead :angel: ) maybe they'll be friends.
    • #4
    #4

    Reassure her that there is nothing going on between you and your friend, instead of going alone to meet your friend it might make your girlfriend feel better if she were invited along too. Your girlfriend seems to be insecure about you having girl friends which in some ways is understandable because girls can be protective over their boyfriends so make sure she knows that she is the only woman you love. She shouldn't tell you to take the photos down though, explain to her they are memories of your past. But I think getting them to meet each other is a good idea, you'd be surprised how easily a girl can turn from an enemy into a friend haha!
    • #5
    #5

    if you loved your gf you wouldn't care so much about going out of your way to meet up with this other girl
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been dating a girl for about a year now, she is a beautiful nice girl with lots in common, we do a lot things together.

    I have a few different group of friends, old childhood friends, work and uni friends. I have more female friends than I do male but most of my best friends are male that's I've known for years. She's fine with them and she has met them a few times on nights out.

    I have another friend, a girl that I met at uni I known for about 3 years. We are best friends, there was never anything between us other than hanging out. She always had my back, a very reliable girl. We talked about men and women problems when I was at uni. We also lived together in halls so we saw a lot of each other in that time.

    Now I'm living in my hometown and she's living in my uni town, so I don't see much of her anymore. I have met her since but it's always me going back up there as I have other friends to see as well but she said she would like come see me.

    I told my girlfriend that she's coming down to see me. She's being very funny about it, doesn't want me to see her. She thinks I'm having sex with her which isn't the case what so ever but can't get through to her. She's also asked me to take down photos of me and her on Facebook, mainly of us drinking mucking about. I'm refusing because it's just friends hanging out and I'm not being out of order to my friend just because she's a girl. If it was a ex girlfriend then I would see the problem but think it's uncalled for.

    My friend would also like to meet my girlfriend. I've told her why she can't because it might cause issues. I understand they're both being protective over me, friend doesn't want be treated badly by a girl, looks out for me that way. My girlfriend on the other hand looks after me when I'm drunk, sick and that, does things for me. So consider my girlfriend as friend too, if you get where I'm coming from. It's just very awkward for me.

    I don't usually use forums like this but I would really appreciate it if could give me some advice. So both are happy and stop fighting over me because it's ruining a good relationship and friendship.
    cut her off
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    (Original post by Charles_2nd)
    She's just a bit insecure, as long as she isn't being nasty she just needs some assurances about your relationship. It's amazing how many people on here will tell you to tell her to get a grip, how does that help? It clearly bothers and upsets her so don't ignore her, don't shout at her, just to talk to her.
    A bit? THis is more than a bit insecure, this is controlling behaviour due to paranoia, jealousy and insecurity. She wants him to remove pics of the two together and wants to him to not see his best friend just because this friend has a vagina instead of a penis.

    OP, you need to address this and strike a balance. No way should you stop seeing her but you should convince your gf that nothing has or is going to happen.

    This is your best friend were talking about. Someone who has backed you since day one. Do not cut this person out, that is a downward spiral.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    A bit? THis is more than a bit insecure, this is controlling behaviour due to paranoia, jealousy and insecurity. She wants him to remove pics of the two together and wants to him to not see his best friend just because this friend has a vagina instead of a penis.

    OP, you need to address this and strike a balance. No way should you stop seeing her but you should convince your gf that nothing has or is going to happen.

    This is your best friend were talking about. Someone who has backed you since day one. Do not cut this person out, that is a downward spiral.
    Tend to agree with this, if she is asking to remove any pictures, that sounds controlling. She needs to get a grip and realise he is with her becauase he wants to be with her. But if she carries on with her behaviour then she will end up having him resenting her and driving him away.
 
 
 
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