My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and get along so well we never argue but we had a hard conversation and I'm still trying to get my head around it. I love my boyfriend but I changed college at the start of the year and although we don't live that far away from each other life and work keeps getting in the way of us spending time together. We've grown apart and it makes me upset that I don't see him often but with exams we both need to study. A few weeks ago he spoke to me about it and said that he thinks we should "take a break" because he felt like he couldn't be in a relationship at this time. He also mentioned that he felt like he was being unfair to me as he sometimes gets sexual feelings for other girls, is this normal?? We spoke about it properly and he realised that he had made a mistake and got very upset and said he was blaming his stress on our relationship and that he wanted to stay with me and that he couldn't see himself with anyone else in the future but the thought of that commitment scares him (which I can understand). These mixed feelings have really confused me, please can someone give me advice, does this mean he has lost feelings for me and if so is it best to fight to rebuild our relationship or is it over for good?
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- Thread Starter
- 04-04-2016 08:17
- 04-04-2016 08:21
Stress plays havoc on everyone's relationships.
Online19Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
- 04-04-2016 09:19
Agree that he sounds stressed. he sounds in a bit of turmoil and that makes you see things in your life differently. Bit like being in a storm. Its too early to tell what he thinks as he probably doesnt know. You still sound close.
The stress might be from elsehwere, but ask him what he wants to do (it might be 1 date a week or just time to hiself) and then give him some space so he cnat use the relationship as an excuse.
Has he lost feelings? Unlikely but they may have changed. he doesnt know.
Fight to save? Your best course of action might be to give him some space if thats what he wants, so he cna find out what he really thinks without guilt or confusion. You cna reassure him you still care for him and you are giving him space for his benefit and so as not to distract.
Agree on a time when hes had a decent amount to think and you can chat about it again.
Over for good? I dont think so, although its under stress and might be changing. It might make you stronger or break you. I cnat advise anything other than talk, give him space and a bit of support, then let him get on with it. he should become more receptive later and you cna attemp to build from there. make it a definite time though, so you know where you are and not left in limbo. Be positive.