I can't get over her...

I have suffered from social anxiety and school phobia in the past, and as a result I spent 8 weeks off school last year (I eventually moved schools, but lets not skip ahead) and the only thing that made going back (for half days) even slightly bearable was my friend, Lauren. For the first 2 days, I thought everything was going OK. She had made new friends, obviously, I wouldn't have wanted her to be on her own because I was off, and I was perfectly nice and friendly to her and her friends. However, on Tuesday night (having gone back on Monday) I was talking to another girl from my school, who told me that Lauren didn't 'want to be my friend anymore' (sounds so juvenile now that I write it) and I asked Lauren, and she told me it was true, but wouldn't tell me why.This really upset me at the time, because she was the only thing keeping me going to school, and that was probably the time I needed her most. I went in one more day, which was hellish, and then left that school. I've not really made any proper friends at my new school, it's very small, and there isn't much of a variety of people. The majority of my friends live miles away, and I talk to them through MSN (some of them I've met in person). Anyway, over a year later (this happened in February last year) I still haven't 'got over' Lauren. Every time I hear a song about 'breaking up' or missing someone, I associate it with her, and I still regularly cry over her and miss her. I know she's over me, because I have a friend still at her school who asked her about me when I went back to the school to get my stuff out of my locker, and she said she didn't want to see me. It feels stupid to still be missing her after all this time, and after she let me down, but I do :frown:

Any advice?

Reply 1

Custer

You seem to be over-looking the fact that she betrayed your friendship but it seems you have trouble making friends and this is why she was so special to you. Moving school was a big mistake, anxiety will only go away if you confront it.

MSN is not a good medium for someone with social anxiety to talk to friends, you need to be trying to acquaint yourself with social situations as much as possible.

If you want to truly get over your friend who has done so over you, you must look for new friends to fill the place of your old one.

Reply 2

misshape

I don't think leaving was that much of a mistake, you have to remember that I am now going to school, and I wasn't then. So, being able to go in without having a panic attack is quite an improvement.

I know I should 'confront' more social situations, and I do spend every school day with people- which, as I say, is an improvement on not going in at all. I don't know how to replace her :frown:

I think the reason I keep overlooking her betrayal is that it was very sudden, and it was all very surreal at the time...