Being forced to apply for this job Watch

Ayroxus94
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I have what you would call 'Helicopter Parents'. They take an unusual delight in trying to make all of my decisions for me because they think I know best. I'm 22 and it's getting pretty pathetic now.

I have been suffering with an intolerable amount of anxiety over the past four years and have been incapable of holding down a job. I have been on the road to recovery and finally find it's time to start looking for work.

I want to start with something quite simple. A part-time job with the flexibility between working days to study courses which will help me further my career and eventually land my dream job.

Unfortunately, my parents think otherwise and are pressuring me so much to go for some crappy job that I really don't want to do. They sent off for the application using my name without my permission and have been pestering me day and night to fill it in and send it off. It has even replaced 'hello' in the mornings.

Upon reading the application, I found that there is really no way in which I can benefit from joining their company other than the fact that I would be getting paid money. If I was to do it, it would be to just get my parents off my back.

After being driven to insanity with the pestering from my parents I have reluctantly filled in the form. I really want to be able to save the document in a really horrible format which can't be opened by the HR department so I don't get called in for an interview.

Any tips?

ps: there is really no reason for me not to get the job. My brother works for the company and so does his girlfriend. In fact, she works in the HR department.
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999tigger
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I can't see a way because you are saying if you put the application in, then you get the job. They will just ask you for another app in a compatible format. If you dont provide it then your parents will know you have sabotaged it.

You cna try an make it a poor application, but they might detect that sabotage as well.
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Ayroxus94
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I can't see a way because you are saying if you put the application in, then you get the job. They will just ask you for another app in a compatible format. If you dont provide it then your parents will know you have sabotaged it.

You cna try an make it a poor application, but they might detect that sabotage as well.
Now you understand my dilemma. I guess I could send in a poor application, but like I said my brother's girlfriend works in HR so she would know when she receives it.
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Oilfreak1
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(Original post by Ayroxus94)
Now you understand my dilemma. I guess I could send in a poor application, but like I said my brother's girlfriend works in HR so she would know when she receives it.
tbh full time work's always good, take it if it is severely hampering your recovery (I personally don't think it will) you can sabotage yourself on the job.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Ayroxus94)
Now you understand my dilemma. I guess I could send in a poor application, but like I said my brother's girlfriend works in HR so she would know when she receives it.
I think you can go through the motions and do a very average application. You coul do a poor interview and then when they aske why did you choose us or why do you want to work here, then you can tell them. They arent going to want you if you dont want to be there.

Out of interest is there a cultural/ethnic angle to the fact they are helicopter parents?
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martinnmartin
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Are you still living with your parents? I think you're old enough to release how ridiculous this situation is. I think you need to stand up for yourself or they will just keep walking all over you. Why do I think your anxiety comes from your parents to begin with...?

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thefatone
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(Original post by Ayroxus94)
Now you understand my dilemma. I guess I could send in a poor application, but like I said my brother's girlfriend works in HR so she would know when she receives it.
it's simple, we sabotage and destroy the application
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ALT94
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Tell them where to stick it.
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Ayroxus94
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My family don't really have any religious views so it's not that. I am the youngest though, and they are always trying to get me to be like my older brother. Not only do they want me to work in the same factory as him but they are also suggesting having my hair cut at the same barbers and buying the same clothes as him.

As for living at home, yes. The only thing keeping me here is the fact that I don't have enough money at the moment.

(Original post by martinnmartin)
I think you need to stand up for yourself or they will just keep walking all over you.
That is the reason I don't want to apply. Not only do I not want to go for the job but to do it would mean giving in to them again. This is an opportunity to stand my ground. The problem is that whenever I tell them this I get severe backlash. They never trust my decisions. That's partly why I've had anxiety for 4 years, because they refused to let me get any help.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Ayroxus94)
My family don't really have any religious views so it's not that. I am the youngest though, and they are always trying to get me to be like my older brother. Not only do they want me to work in the same factory as him but they are also suggesting having my hair cut at the same barbers and buying the same clothes as him.

As for living at home, yes. The only thing keeping me here is the fact that I don't have enough money at the moment.



That is the reason I don't want to apply. Not only do I not want to go for the job but to do it would mean giving in to them again. This is an opportunity to stand my ground. The problem is that whenever I tell them this I get severe backlash. They never trust my decisions. That's partly why I've had anxiety for 4 years, because they refused to let me get any help.
I don't want to seem unsympathetic but you are 22 and still living at home. You have a chance to apply for a job which will give you money - SO YOU CAN LEAVE HOME.

At your age you should be standing on your own two feet. Take the job, get some money together and then leave home and get other employment. This situation will NOT change until YOU get your rear end into gear.
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chikane
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(Original post by Ayroxus94)
Now you understand my dilemma. I guess I could send in a poor application, but like I said my brother's girlfriend works in HR so she would know when she receives it.
If your girlfriend works in HR she could put a good word in for you to get you this job..why not get a job there and apply for something else in the meantime? Atleast it will keep you busy, improve your confidence and you can have something to write on your cv.

You haven't got any other offers at the moment have you?
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martinnmartin
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Well since you're under their roof suck it up untill you can leave, they're right you need to get a job but for the wrong reasons

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Ayroxus94
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(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
I don't want to seem unsympathetic but you are 22 and still living at home. You have a chance to apply for a job which will give you money - SO YOU CAN LEAVE HOME.
I doubt I'd be able to afford to move out on those wages.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Ayroxus94)
I doubt I'd be able to afford to move out on those wages.
So what are you going to do about it.

You have therefore reached an impasse.

Choices:

1. Stay where you are feeling miserable and worrying the heck out of your parents - sponging off them too.

2. Take the job and at least get some money together for something nice/holiday/college etc

3. Go to college and get a profession

4. Get a job that gives you accommodation with the job.


Doing nothing should NOT be an option. I worked in Asda for a year - it was a miserable job but I tell you this - it gave me the kick up the backside that I needed.
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Ayroxus94
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(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
So what are you going to do about it.

You have therefore reached an impasse.

Choices:

1. Stay where you are feeling miserable and worrying the heck out of your parents - sponging off them too.

2. Take the job and at least get some money together for something nice/holiday/college etc

3. Go to college and get a profession

4. Get a job that gives you accommodation with the job.


Doing nothing should NOT be an option. I worked in Asda for a year - it was a miserable job but I tell you this - it gave me the kick up the backside that I needed.
Choice 1 is certainly not an option. I wanted part-time so I can go to college; something I wouldn't have time for if I worked at my brother's place. The other option is, like you said, just get a different job. I'll just have to suffer their unholy wrath until I can afford to move out
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