how to overcome performance anxiety Watch

Anonymous #1
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ok so i've been seeing this girl for about a month

on the third date, i went down on her but i couldn't get an erection- i put this down to being tired as it was 2.30am (and i was tired)

the next time we came home drunk from a night out, no issues

the third time i had an erection, then i went down on her and then i went semi-hard before losing it completely

she says it's not a big deal and she still wants to see me, but i feel so emasculated and embarrassed. I guess I'm just nervous because i like her and want to please her but I feel so ****.

Anyone have any solutions? I feel like the next time we are in the bedroom this is all i will think about and it will make it worse
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FaisalNaeem03
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Viagra
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Anonymous #1
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to be fair, the girl doesn't give me much in the way of foreplay. No BJ, no hand stuff, nothing. Maybe this is an issue I should bring up?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FaisalNaeem03)
Viagra
not an option
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Tom78
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ok so i've been seeing this girl for about a month

on the third date, i went down on her but i couldn't get an erection- i put this down to being tired as it was 2.30am (and i was tired)

the next time we came home drunk from a night out, no issues

the third time i had an erection, then i went down on her and then i went semi-hard before losing it completely

she says it's not a big deal and she still wants to see me, but i feel so emasculated and embarrassed. I guess I'm just nervous because i like her and want to please her but I feel so ****.

Anyone have any solutions? I feel like the next time we are in the bedroom this is all i will think about and it will make it worse
I've had experience of this in the past, it's just a case of relaxing. Try not to make a fuss about it or you'll lose the heat of the moment and it'll make her feel awkward.

Mutual masturbation is a good one to beat it i've found you do her, she does you. Both relax, should work tbh.

Or maybe she just ain't doing it for you lol
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tom78)
I've had experience of this in the past, it's just a case of relaxing. Try not to make a fuss about it or you'll lose the heat of the moment and it'll make her feel awkward.

Mutual masturbation is a good one to beat it i've found you do her, she does you. Both relax, should work tbh.

Or maybe she just ain't doing it for you lol
Nah she definitely does it for me, I like her a lot. I have an erection until I go down on her, then after 20 mins or so of that and it's time to do the deed then it's gone.
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Tom78
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nah she definitely does it for me, I like her a lot. I have an erection until I go down on her, then after 20 mins or so of that and it's time to do the deed then it's gone.
20 minutes is a long time to go down on her. Do you do the same routine every time? Why not just warm up and go straight in. You can have times when you do loads of foreplay and times where you go straight into it. Keeps things interesting at the least.
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Tom78
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But I still say just chill together in bed, no stress and play with each other at the same time. It's fun man.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tom78)
20 minutes is a long time to go down on her. Do you do the same routine every time? Why not just warm up and go straight in. You can have times when you do loads of foreplay and times where you go straight into it. Keeps things interesting at the least.
well actually, the only time we actually had sex was when I just went straight in so you may have a point there.
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Tom78
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(Original post by Anonymous)
well actually, the only time we actually had sex was when I just went straight in so you may have a point there.
Woah see how we knocked it on the head


Have fun mate
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unprinted
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Talk to her.

20 minutes is only 'a long time to go down on her' if she wanted you to stop after 19... but it may not be what you need to get/keep an erection.

Talk to her.

What does get you hard? Do that and stop worrying, including if it doesn't work instantly.

Talk to her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by unprinted)
Talk to her.

20 minutes is only 'a long time to go down on her' if she wanted you to stop after 19... but it may not be what you need to get/keep an erection.

Talk to her.

What does get you hard? Do that and stop worrying, including if it doesn't work instantly.

Talk to her.
We have talked, she said she just thinks we need to get to know each other better so I'm more comfortable.

(Original post by Tom78)
Woah see how we knocked it on the head


Have fun mate
Yeah I just don't like skipping it because she really enjoys it.
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Tom78
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We have talked, she said she just thinks we need to get to know each other better so I'm more comfortable.



Yeah I just don't like skipping it because she really enjoys it.
Well you're gonna have to, I'm sure she'd enjoy the sex more. Just experiment man, try different things, see what works. I guarantee if you keep doing the same nothing will change.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tom78)
Well you're gonna have to, I'm sure she'd enjoy the sex more. Just experiment man, try different things, see what works. I guarantee if you keep doing the same nothing will change.
yeah you're right, thanks for the advice
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Virgili
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Just do light foreplay but enough to get her racing, you can always substitue sex another time. You don't always have to put it in whenever you want to please her, fingers and tongue themselves can be quite a good substitute so if you're doing it right she probably enjoys it anyway.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Virgili)
Just do light foreplay but enough to get her racing, you can always substitue sex another time. You don't always have to put it in whenever you want to please her, fingers and tongue themselves can be quite a good substitute so if you're doing it right she probably enjoys it anyway.
Yeah she certainly seems to enjoy it, but it was clear she was disappointed/a little bit bothered by the fact we couldn't have actual sex.
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Anonymous #1
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I suppose the issue i'm having is that i still keep thinking about "what if this happens next time? I can't let it happen next time". Even if I tell myself I'm not going to think about it when the time comes, I know I'm going to. I've never had any issues before and now this has happened I'm not sure how I stop it from affecting me.
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samina_ay
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(Original post by Virgili)
Just do light foreplay but enough to get her racing, you can always substitue sex another time. You don't always have to put it in whenever you want to please her, fingers and tongue themselves can be quite a good substitute so if you're doing it right she probably enjoys it anyway.
A woman wants the real thing uno - not just a finger

And here i am objectifying men lmao
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The_Last_Melon
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(Original post by Anonymous)
to be fair, the girl doesn't give me much in the way of foreplay. No BJ, no hand stuff, nothing. Maybe this is an issue I should bring up?
Pressuring girls into sex is a big nono I suggest you go with the flow and
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Virgili
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(Original post by samina_ay)
A woman wants the real thing uno - not just a finger

And here i am objectifying men lmao
Wow you sexist pig, I shouldn't say that pigs have rights too.

I'm trying to make OP feel better about his floppy disk.
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