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    I started a course which I wasn't enjoying then transferred without informing my parents (they told me I shouldn't transfer as they thought I wouldn't stick out the new course either). This means I am going in to final year next year, when they think that I will be graduating this summer. I can't keep up the facade anymore, but I'm too embarrassed/ afraid to tell them the truth. They are really proud that I will be graduating this year, and as I want to go in to teaching they keep asking me my plans and think I am leaving things too late... it's awkward and I don't know what to do
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    That was deceptive, and they're going to be hurt by it. But their fears were clearly unfounded if you're going into your final year next year right? Just give it to them straight, they'll get over it. You DID lie, but it doesn't affect them so they'll accept it. Longer you wait the harder it'll be, so do it ASAP.
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    You need to tell them. I know it'll be hard but think of the problems you will face IF you don't mention anything? They will be distraught, angry and hurt. They will understand why you transferred when you tell them. Do you have a good relationship with them?
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    "Mum, Dad, I wasn't enjoying my course so I changed to a much better one which I'm really enjoying. I had to do an extra year so I'll be starting the final year in September. I won't be graduating this summer so don't worry about my teaching plans just yet. Sorry I wasn't clear with you sooner, it's been a really stressful time but it's all working out for the best. Now, who's for a cup of tea?"
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    Awkward. ofc you have to tell them otherwise your mum will start telling the neighbours and getting a new hat. No idea whether you should tell both together or maybe your dad if he is the calmer of the two? Maube you have good results and can show them you are doing really well? They sound as though they just want the best for you.
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    (Original post by TVIO)
    That was deceptive, and they're going to be hurt by it. But their fears were clearly unfounded if you're going into your final year next year right? Just give it to them straight, they'll get over it. You DID lie, but it doesn't affect them so they'll accept it. Longer you wait the harder it'll be, so do it ASAP.
    Thank you for your advice. I am thinking about telling them tonight... Yes I am doing much better on my current course so it has worked out better in that respect... I do regret not telling them sooner but I know they would not have had the faith in me to continue the course. Thanks again

    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    You need to tell them. I know it'll be hard but think of the problems you will face IF you don't mention anything? They will be distraught, angry and hurt. They will understand why you transferred when you tell them. Do you have a good relationship with them?
    Thanks for the advice yes I have a good relationship with them... I think that is what is making it all the more harder! You are right, I need to tell them sooner rather than later

    (Original post by Duncan2012)
    "Mum, Dad, I wasn't enjoying my course so I changed to a much better one which I'm really enjoying. I had to do an extra year so I'll be starting the final year in September. I won't be graduating this summer so don't worry about my teaching plans just yet. Sorry I wasn't clear with you sooner, it's been a really stressful time but it's all working out for the best. Now, who's for a cup of tea?"
    This is amazing, thank you so much. You have condensed everything I have been wanting to say to them!

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Awkward. ofc you have to tell them otherwise your mum will start telling the neighbours and getting a new hat. No idea whether you should tell both together or maybe your dad if he is the calmer of the two? Maube you have good results and can show them you are doing really well? They sound as though they just want the best for you.
    That is definitely true, haha. They are both pretty laid back although I think I'd find it easier telling my mum, but I think I am going to sit down with them both tonight and tell them. Yes I have been getting a mixture of high 2.1s and 1st this year - I have shared this with them already but, of course, the whole time they thought it was my final year. But I will stress that these grades are a result of my enjoyment on the course.. Thanks for your advice



    In light of all the above, and in order to minimise the hurt that I cause, I'm not sure if I should...
    a) tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth - that I transferred after my first year and I have lied all this time
    OR
    b) tell them that my grades weren't great over the first and second years and I transferred after the second year, on to the second year of a new course

    Of course I don't want to lie any further, but I have lied to them for two years and I'm not sure I want them to know this - them thinking that I have lied for only one year would be less hurtful, but then again I'm concealing a lie with another lie
    In a way the course change came at the right time and was a blessing in disguise; my cousin passed away just as I started the new course and so I ended up with depression and had to get ECs on virtually everything - I ended up missing a month of the course but luckily passed with a 2.1 for that year... I know that if that were second year of my old course I would have just given up or come out with a 2.2/third.

    Thank you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice yes I have a good relationship with them... I think that is what is making it all the more harder! You are right, I need to tell them sooner rather than later

    Thank you
    I'm glad myself and fellow posters could help and I really wish you all the best of luck.
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    Just tell them you couldnt cope and you hated doing it, but you felt compelled to make the best choice for you and that you were really unhappy and failing at the time.

    I honestly think you will be fine, but tell them now
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Just tell them you couldnt cope and you hated doing it, but you felt compelled to make the best choice for you and that you were really unhappy and failing at the time.

    I honestly think you will be fine, but tell them now
    Ok,thankyou very nervous haha.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok,thankyou very nervous haha.
    Post back how it goes or if you dont make it your mum can post....
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    I think you need to tell them right away. it's better that it came from you than they hear it from someone else. It will triple the hurt that they'll going to feel.
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    (Original post by amelia_lily)
    I think you need to tell them right away. it's better that it came from you than they hear it from someone else. It will triple the hurt that they'll going to feel.
    You are right, thanks I told them yesterday, finally

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Post back how it goes or if you dont make it your mum can post....
    Haha. I made it through. I sat down and told them... they were very, very shocked. I've clearly kept up the lie pretty well. Initially, my dad was very concerned about what to tell other people as they have both told pretty much everyone when I will be graduating. That and the amount of debt I will have accumulated. These issues are the least of my worries though and I am just glad they know the truth now...!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You are right, thanks I told them yesterday, finally


    Haha. I made it through. I sat down and told them... they were very, very shocked. I've clearly kept up the lie pretty well. Initially, my dad was very concerned about what to tell other people as they have both told pretty much everyone when I will be graduating. That and the amount of debt I will have accumulated. These issues are the least of my worries though and I am just glad they know the truth now...!
    well done its easy

    just tell your parents if anyone asks that you have decided to do an additional resarcg option whuch requires another year
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I started a course which I wasn't enjoying then transferred without informing my parents (they told me I shouldn't transfer as they thought I wouldn't stick out the new course either). This means I am going in to final year next year, when they think that I will be graduating this summer. I can't keep up the facade anymore, but I'm too embarrassed/ afraid to tell them the truth. They are really proud that I will be graduating this year, and as I want to go in to teaching they keep asking me my plans and think I am leaving things too late... it's awkward and I don't know what to do
    I'm sure they'll be happy if you're happy. What did you do before and then transfer to if you don't mind me asking

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