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Too soon to move in with my boyfriend? Watch

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    I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We currently work together and have spent a few weeks away together, plus regularly stay at each others houses. We've been together since September last year.

    In September, I'm going to be moving about 200 miles away to start my second degree and because he wants a new job it seems like the perfect time for him to move away too and for us to move in together in our own place. I like the idea of living with him- I'm not the kind of person who enjoys drinking, loud parties and nights out so the idea of living with him and not in halls appeals (I know I could ask for a quiet area, but after 3 years in halls already I know I'm unlikely to get somewhere quiet). I also would really miss seeing him and wouldn't be able to come home much. His job has irregular shifts and so he wouldn't be able to come and see me much either.

    Practically and financially it makes more sense for us to live together- I'd be able to focus on my uni work and also have a proper stable home for my 5 year degree. He'd have a job he enjoys and we'd finally get to be alone without being interrupted by everyone we know, who seem to see us as some sort of attraction! His job is very similar to my course so he'd be able to help me revise and give me tips. I plan on working though NHSP through my degree to support us in addition to my student loan.

    It just seems too soon to move in with him- that's literally the only reason I'm doubting it! It all seems too good to be true!
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    Do you see yourself soon getting engaged with him? If not, don't move in. Actually do you see yourself carrying out wife duties already? If not, don't move in. Sometimes our instincts are actually right, so it could be too early
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We currently work together and have spent a few weeks away together, plus regularly stay at each others houses. We've been together since September last year.

    In September, I'm going to be moving about 200 miles away to start my second degree and because he wants a new job it seems like the perfect time for him to move away too and for us to move in together in our own place. I like the idea of living with him- I'm not the kind of person who enjoys drinking, loud parties and nights out so the idea of living with him and not in halls appeals (I know I could ask for a quiet area, but after 3 years in halls already I know I'm unlikely to get somewhere quiet). I also would really miss seeing him and wouldn't be able to come home much. His job has irregular shifts and so he wouldn't be able to come and see me much either.

    Practically and financially it makes more sense for us to live together- I'd be able to focus on my uni work and also have a proper stable home for my 5 year degree. He'd have a job he enjoys and we'd finally get to be alone without being interrupted by everyone we know, who seem to see us as some sort of attraction! His job is very similar to my course so he'd be able to help me revise and give me tips. I plan on working though NHSP through my degree to support us in addition to my student loan.

    It just seems too soon to move in with him- that's literally the only reason I'm doubting it! It all seems too good to be true!
    Wouldn't moving in affect the student loans you get? I'm guessing this is Medicine?
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    Moving can go both ways , it's a big step and you have to make sure your relationship is rock solid. However if you think it will be better for both of you because this means you will still be able to see eachother then go for it
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    (Original post by maggie43)
    Do you see yourself soon getting engaged with him? If not, don't move in. Actually do you see yourself carrying out wife duties already? If not, don't move in. Sometimes our instincts are actually right, so it could be too early
    Sorry, "wife duties"? Just because they're moving in together it doesn't mean that she needs to perform specific duties. If you mean housework then they should share that regardless of gender.

    As for getting engaged, you don't need to be planning a marriage in order to move in together. In fact, it's better to move in together well in advance of engagement in order to decide whether or not they could live with them forever. Also, some people never want to get married. My parents never got married, so by your logic they should never move in together?

    Moving in together does not equal engagement, nor does it equal her having to perform "wife duties". Get your head out of the 1950s.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We currently work together and have spent a few weeks away together, plus regularly stay at each others houses. We've been together since September last year.

    In September, I'm going to be moving about 200 miles away to start my second degree and because he wants a new job it seems like the perfect time for him to move away too and for us to move in together in our own place. I like the idea of living with him- I'm not the kind of person who enjoys drinking, loud parties and nights out so the idea of living with him and not in halls appeals (I know I could ask for a quiet area, but after 3 years in halls already I know I'm unlikely to get somewhere quiet). I also would really miss seeing him and wouldn't be able to come home much. His job has irregular shifts and so he wouldn't be able to come and see me much either.

    Practically and financially it makes more sense for us to live together- I'd be able to focus on my uni work and also have a proper stable home for my 5 year degree. He'd have a job he enjoys and we'd finally get to be alone without being interrupted by everyone we know, who seem to see us as some sort of attraction! His job is very similar to my course so he'd be able to help me revise and give me tips. I plan on working though NHSP through my degree to support us in addition to my student loan.

    It just seems too soon to move in with him- that's literally the only reason I'm doubting it! It all seems too good to be true!
    I moved in much sooner than that with my boyfriend and 2 years later we re still going strong it depends on you guys as a couple but as you ve said it sounds like it makes a lot of sense to do so now
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We currently work together and have spent a few weeks away together, plus regularly stay at each others houses. We've been together since September last year.

    In September, I'm going to be moving about 200 miles away to start my second degree and because he wants a new job it seems like the perfect time for him to move away too and for us to move in together in our own place. I like the idea of living with him- I'm not the kind of person who enjoys drinking, loud parties and nights out so the idea of living with him and not in halls appeals (I know I could ask for a quiet area, but after 3 years in halls already I know I'm unlikely to get somewhere quiet). I also would really miss seeing him and wouldn't be able to come home much. His job has irregular shifts and so he wouldn't be able to come and see me much either.

    Practically and financially it makes more sense for us to live together- I'd be able to focus on my uni work and also have a proper stable home for my 5 year degree. He'd have a job he enjoys and we'd finally get to be alone without being interrupted by everyone we know, who seem to see us as some sort of attraction! His job is very similar to my course so he'd be able to help me revise and give me tips. I plan on working though NHSP through my degree to support us in addition to my student loan.

    It just seems too soon to move in with him- that's literally the only reason I'm doubting it! It all seems too good to be true!
    I met my boyfriend at the start of the university - very soon we started really to spend most nights together either in his room or mine. He wanted to move in with me for the second year - and I said no cause it seemed too soon... Result? He basically lived with me anyway and literally wasted over 4k for his accommodation, where he didn't stay anyway. We moved in together 'properly' for the third year (finishing up now) - it's been the best year, really. I love living with him. When we moved in together we were a couple for just under 2 years. Now we're both graduating, I'm going to do Masters in Glasgow but he wants to go with me and get a job there. But for us it just was a natural progression into the relationship to live together at the point when we did...

    And someone who said something about "wife duties" - really? We both share cleaning of the house, if I cook, my boyfriend washes up. If I do the laundry, he hoovers the house etc. Don't have any "set housework schedule" but we both share the duties and it does come naturally... If I'm coming back from work late, he cooks for instance (mostly orders takeaway but still :P). Even when I'm cooking on most of the days, he always helps me e.g. peels veg, washes up etc. Never had any arguments over cleaning etc...

    I'm 22 and he's going to be 22 in September, just to clarify.

    If you feel however that it is too soon, it might be. I would still give it a go, being me... But I've always hated living in halls, hate sharing house with strangers (was a terrible experience last year) and living with my boyfriend is just so peaceful and nice, especially as we're both full-time students but work part-time. Go with your gut I would try if I were you though.
 
 
 
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